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Original poster

Misuse of SAHM terminology

163 replies

NotEnoughKnittingTime · 27/07/2025 16:50

Am I being unreasonable for getting slightly irritated when mothers describe themselves as SAHM when they actually work outside the home? Often see this on tiktok!

OP posts:
Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 27/07/2025 18:43

BoredZelda · 27/07/2025 18:38

It depends on what type of project management it is. It is not totally different at all. There are a whole heap of transferable skills from SAHM to working in some aspects of project management.

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That’s something only someone who has no idea about professionalism in a given fiend/ recruitment / the world of work in 2025 would say on their actual CV though.

YaWeeFurryBastard · 27/07/2025 18:42

BoredZelda · 27/07/2025 18:38

It depends on what type of project management it is. It is not totally different at all. There are a whole heap of transferable skills from SAHM to working in some aspects of project management.

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Working mums do almost all the things SAHMs do though, which is why it looks very silly to start listing things like “project management of household” on a CV, as if ensuring the house is stocked with enough bog roll etc. is a special skill only SAHMs posses.

Agree, tik tokkers are definitely not SAHMs, there’s a lot of work that goes into filming all those videos.

I wouldn’t class someone who works in the evenings or weekends as a SAHM either.

ASimpleLampoon · 27/07/2025 18:41

NotEnoughKnittingTime · 27/07/2025 17:11

I agree.

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I WFH, and am main carer to my complex needs disabled teen, but that means I don't work, apparently 🙄

BoredZelda · 27/07/2025 18:38

ShesTheAlbatross · 27/07/2025 18:33

Sure, I just think it’s totally different to bringing up children. I’m not even saying it’s harder to be a PM than to be a SAHM. I’m just saying they aren’t the same and it’s silly to present it that way on a CV.

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It depends on what type of project management it is. It is not totally different at all. There are a whole heap of transferable skills from SAHM to working in some aspects of project management.

BoredZelda · 27/07/2025 18:36

NotEnoughKnittingTime · 27/07/2025 17:39

You work part time so no you aren't a SAHM. Basically if you give up your job and live off the wages of your partner then yes you are one.

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A mother who is at home all day with her children, rather than having them in daycare is a SAHM. If she works in the evenings whilst her husband is home and/or the kids are in bed, that doesn’t not make her a SAHM? What a load of nonsense.

She does all the same roles as a SAHM, all day, but the poor bugger instead of having a wee seat at night, watching a bit of telly, has to go out and work at night too.

mbosnz · 27/07/2025 18:36

My kids are now at uni. On visa declarations, I declare my role to be 'house bitch'.

And no, SAHM's are really not liked on MN.

Notmyluck · 27/07/2025 18:35

LittleCosette · 27/07/2025 17:12

I think if someone made income from their TikTok account which was about being a SAHM I would still count them as a SAHM.

Absolutely not. Some of them make money, good money at that. They are working filming regular content and posting for a job. It's not just a hobby for some of them.

ShesTheAlbatross · 27/07/2025 18:33

BoredZelda · 27/07/2025 18:29

Project management is a huge umbrella term though. My brother is a PM for an offshore supply company. His job is entirely different from the Project Managers I work in construction with.

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Sure, I just think it’s totally different to bringing up children. I’m not even saying it’s harder to be a PM than to be a SAHM. I’m just saying they aren’t the same and it’s silly to present it that way on a CV.

itsabeautifuldayjuly · 27/07/2025 18:29

@Tandora yes, organising a household is a lot of work. that doesn’t make it a project manager role, or count as project management experience.

BoredZelda · 27/07/2025 18:29

ShesTheAlbatross · 27/07/2025 18:24

So do I. But I really think it’s not a project manager role, and a comment like that on a CV would suggest to me that they didn’t fully understand what project managers do.

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Project management is a huge umbrella term though. My brother is a PM for an offshore supply company. His job is entirely different from the Project Managers I work in construction with.

ShesTheAlbatross · 27/07/2025 18:24

Tandora · 27/07/2025 18:21

I disagree that there is not a tonne of project management involved in raising children and running a household. The admin is insane. (I work full time and have several young kids).

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So do I. But I really think it’s not a project manager role, and a comment like that on a CV would suggest to me that they didn’t fully understand what project managers do.

Tandora · 27/07/2025 18:21

ShesTheAlbatross · 27/07/2025 18:15

No, I think a brief comment to explain that the gap in their CV is due to taking time out to raise their family is totally fine and is what I’d expect the majority of CVs from women in that situation to say (same if they took time off paid work to take care of an elderly relative for example, you just need a sentence to explain why there’s X number of years gap). No need to pretend it’s project manager work.

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I disagree that there is not a tonne of project management involved in raising children and running a household. The admin is insane. (I work full time and have several young kids).

Original poster
NotEnoughKnittingTime · 27/07/2025 18:18

Theroadt · 27/07/2025 18:08

Gosh MN really doesn’t like SAHMs!

Eh? Not what I am saying.

OP posts:
ShesTheAlbatross · 27/07/2025 18:15

Theroadt · 27/07/2025 18:07

Fair point. But they’re just trying to put a best side in order to get work. If they didn’t, would you “roll your eyes” that they weren’t working? Sorry - just found your comment a bit snipey.

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No, I think a brief comment to explain that the gap in their CV is due to taking time out to raise their family is totally fine and is what I’d expect the majority of CVs from women in that situation to say (same if they took time off paid work to take care of an elderly relative for example, you just need a sentence to explain why there’s X number of years gap). No need to pretend it’s project manager work.

itsabeautifuldayjuly · 27/07/2025 18:12

@Theroadt i don’t care if someone had a family break. fair enough. i do mind people being delusional enough to think organising playdates does enable them in any shape of form to organise a project team.

ShesTheAlbatross · 27/07/2025 18:12

Theroadt · 27/07/2025 18:03

But why? It’s up to them, surely? It wouldn’t be my bag, but best not be judgy

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I think if your children are at uni, you’re not a SAHM. You’re a housewife. Which is fine, and will be what works best for some households. But maybe they think housewife is pejorative so don’t want to use it.

itsabeautifuldayjuly · 27/07/2025 18:10

@LowDownBoyStandUpGuy i get especially annoyed at the ones providing a long list on all the “transferable skills” they learned while being a SAHP. No, organising playdates and doing batch cooking does not mean you would be a great project manager/insert other job titles. It means you are insulting the people who actually do this job . instant rejection

Theroadt · 27/07/2025 18:08

Gosh MN really doesn’t like SAHMs!

YankSplaining · 27/07/2025 18:08

Bushmillsbabe · 27/07/2025 17:50

I also roll my eyes when someone says they are a SAHM, and when asked 'how old are your childen' the answer is '18 and 21, both away at uni'. In my mind a SAHM has pre school or primary age children, or older children needing extra support due to health needs/disabilities.

If you have minor children living at home and you don’t work, you’re a SAHM. The idea that you can be a SAHM with older minor children, but only if they’re disabled, is kind of a weird take.

Theroadt · 27/07/2025 18:07

LowDownBoyStandUpGuy · 27/07/2025 17:43

Why does it matter?

I mean I roll my eyes when I’m doing recruitment and get those ridiculous CV’s claiming that being a SAHM means that they have essentially been a ‘project manager’ because of how they run their family (I am an actual project manager and it isn’t even remotely similar) but I don’t get worked up about it.

Fair point. But they’re just trying to put a best side in order to get work. If they didn’t, would you “roll your eyes” that they weren’t working? Sorry - just found your comment a bit snipey.

InNewYorkNoShoes · 27/07/2025 18:06

But how can they be a SAHM if they have children not at home?

Theroadt · 27/07/2025 18:03

Bushmillsbabe · 27/07/2025 17:50

I also roll my eyes when someone says they are a SAHM, and when asked 'how old are your childen' the answer is '18 and 21, both away at uni'. In my mind a SAHM has pre school or primary age children, or older children needing extra support due to health needs/disabilities.

But why? It’s up to them, surely? It wouldn’t be my bag, but best not be judgy

SharpLily · 27/07/2025 18:03

NotEnoughKnittingTime · 27/07/2025 17:39

You work part time so no you aren't a SAHM. Basically if you give up your job and live off the wages of your partner then yes you are one.

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Hang on - I work (very) part time and definitely live off my husband's wages. Mine woouldn't support our dogs, never mind our children and run a house. So what am I?

(I know I'm going to regret asking that)

Theroadt · 27/07/2025 18:02

SunnySummerHols · 27/07/2025 17:09

I assumed a SAHM meant you didn’t work at all. I don’t think it includes mums that WFH.

Except SAHMs do work - they just don’t get paid (I’ve been both working mum and SAHM)

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 27/07/2025 17:54

LowDownBoyStandUpGuy · 27/07/2025 17:43

Why does it matter?

I mean I roll my eyes when I’m doing recruitment and get those ridiculous CV’s claiming that being a SAHM means that they have essentially been a ‘project manager’ because of how they run their family (I am an actual project manager and it isn’t even remotely similar) but I don’t get worked up about it.

Oh dear god please say you’re joking and no woman ever has done that - toe curl!!!!!