Page 5 | Misuse of SAHM terminology

NotEnoughKnittingTime · 2025-07-27T15:50:57+00:00

Am I being unreasonable for getting slightly irritated when mothers describe themselves as SAHM when they actually work outside the home? Often see this on tiktok!

steff13 · 27/07/2025 19:58

I guess I'm not understanding what it is about it that irritates you specifically? Is it just that you're being pedantic? No judgment ,I can be pedantic myself sometimes. Or does this somehow damage the plight of a stay-at-home mother?

Tandora · 27/07/2025 19:58

BoredZelda · 27/07/2025 18:36

A mother who is at home all day with her children, rather than having them in daycare is a SAHM. If she works in the evenings whilst her husband is home and/or the kids are in bed, that doesn’t not make her a SAHM? What a load of nonsense.

She does all the same roles as a SAHM, all day, but the poor bugger instead of having a wee seat at night, watching a bit of telly, has to go out and work at night too.

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if she’s working that makes her a working mum??? Why does it matter what time of day you are working? I work from home I don’t call myself a SAHM?

Tandora · 27/07/2025 19:56

itsabeautifuldayjuly · 27/07/2025 18:29

@Tandora yes, organising a household is a lot of work. that doesn’t make it a project manager role, or count as project management experience.

Why?

YankSplaining · 27/07/2025 19:44

SouthLondonMum22 · 27/07/2025 18:56

I thought this thread was going to be about those who claim to be SAHM's but have teenagers.

I WFH and I'm most definitely not a SAHM.

“Who claim to be SAHM’s but have teenagers” - what does that even mean? They’re SAHMs when the youngest child is twelve, but magically not SAHMs anymore one day later when the youngest child turns thirteen?

Not working for money plus minor children at home equals SAHM.

BunnyLake · 27/07/2025 19:43

LemondrizzleShark · 27/07/2025 19:39

They definitely do!

edited: oh, link didn’t link

www.askamanager.org/2020/02/can-i-put-running-my-household-on-my-resume.html

Edited

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Gawd. 😁

neverbeenskiing · 27/07/2025 19:40

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 27/07/2025 17:54

Oh dear god please say you’re joking and no woman ever has done that - toe curl!!!!!

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I've seen women being advised to do it on here!
Mortifying.

LemondrizzleShark · 27/07/2025 19:39

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 27/07/2025 17:54

Oh dear god please say you’re joking and no woman ever has done that - toe curl!!!!!

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They definitely do!

edited: oh, link didn’t link

www.askamanager.org/2020/02/can-i-put-running-my-household-on-my-resume.html

BunnyLake · 27/07/2025 19:37

Is there any reason why it matters? Honest question as I’m not understanding the issue. (I’ve been both if it’s relevant 🤷‍♀️)

Theroadt · 27/07/2025 19:32

NotEnoughKnittingTime · 27/07/2025 18:18

Eh? Not what I am saying.

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No I know it’s not what you’re saying - just the vibe of some of the comments in response (I’ve been working mum and SAHM at different times)

banquepopulaire · 27/07/2025 19:31

itsabeautifuldayjuly · 27/07/2025 19:29

@banquepopulaire unfortunately these cvs are very much not imaginary….

So what? The OP to the thread is not remotely about CVs is it?

It's about a woman who apparently works (flexibly?) but calls herself a SAHM.

Theroadt · 27/07/2025 19:31

ShesTheAlbatross · 27/07/2025 18:12

I think if your children are at uni, you’re not a SAHM. You’re a housewife. Which is fine, and will be what works best for some households. But maybe they think housewife is pejorative so don’t want to use it.

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Ah fair point.

itsabeautifuldayjuly · 27/07/2025 19:29

@banquepopulaire unfortunately these cvs are very much not imaginary….

banquepopulaire · 27/07/2025 19:27

What a weird thread. Firstly, why would anyone even care what a woman calls herself, whether she works in the evenings or sporadically or whatever? So what?

Second, why are women instantly piling in to bitch about a imaginary non-issue about SAHMs and CVs? What does this have to do with anything? Look at yourselves. It's just your own pettiness.

Foreverm0re · 27/07/2025 19:17

ASimpleLampoon · 27/07/2025 18:41

I WFH, and am main carer to my complex needs disabled teen, but that means I don't work, apparently 🙄

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Who said that? If you wfh then you’re working and are also a carer.

Howilivenow2 · 27/07/2025 19:07

I have been a sahm with my oldest until he was 2 and then was training and studying until he went to school. Sahm of baby or toddler is definitely hard work and can feel a bit of a thankless task. However ive got to be honest, I dont think you can count yourself as a sahm to children in secondary school, excluding children with additional needs. And tbh children in primary school. You aren't at home with them all day, they are in school for a significant portion of the day.

Original poster

NotEnoughKnittingTime · 27/07/2025 19:07

I am not critical of SAHM. I am just saying some call themselves SAHM when they aren't. That is all

OP posts:

OchonAgusOchonOh · 27/07/2025 19:06

BoredZelda · 27/07/2025 18:38

It depends on what type of project management it is. It is not totally different at all. There are a whole heap of transferable skills from SAHM to working in some aspects of project management.

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I've never come across a project management role that you would be qualified for by dint of being a sahm.

VerityUnreasonble · 27/07/2025 19:05

ShesTheAlbatross · 27/07/2025 18:33

Sure, I just think it’s totally different to bringing up children. I’m not even saying it’s harder to be a PM than to be a SAHM. I’m just saying they aren’t the same and it’s silly to present it that way on a CV.

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I like the idea of asking them at interview if they prefer to apply Agile / Lean / Prince2 etc. methodology to their home management and if they wouldn't mind explaining how they've done that and the steps involved.

Although people probably do make Kanban boards for birthday parties these days

BunnyLake · 27/07/2025 19:05

LowDownBoyStandUpGuy · 27/07/2025 17:43

Why does it matter?

I mean I roll my eyes when I’m doing recruitment and get those ridiculous CV’s claiming that being a SAHM means that they have essentially been a ‘project manager’ because of how they run their family (I am an actual project manager and it isn’t even remotely similar) but I don’t get worked up about it.

Oi, I’m the CEO of this household, thank you very much! 😁

Superhansrantowindsor · 27/07/2025 19:04

Why on earth does it matter what other people describe themselves as? I couldn’t care less whether they say SAHM, housewife, wfhm or whatever. It has no impact on my life at all.

legoplaybook · 27/07/2025 19:01

BoredZelda · 27/07/2025 18:36

A mother who is at home all day with her children, rather than having them in daycare is a SAHM. If she works in the evenings whilst her husband is home and/or the kids are in bed, that doesn’t not make her a SAHM? What a load of nonsense.

She does all the same roles as a SAHM, all day, but the poor bugger instead of having a wee seat at night, watching a bit of telly, has to go out and work at night too.

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I used to work shifts around my DH so we didn't use any childcare and one of us was always home with the kids.
Neither of us considered ourselves SAHPs at the time though.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 27/07/2025 18:59

LowDownBoyStandUpGuy · 27/07/2025 17:43

Why does it matter?

I mean I roll my eyes when I’m doing recruitment and get those ridiculous CV’s claiming that being a SAHM means that they have essentially been a ‘project manager’ because of how they run their family (I am an actual project manager and it isn’t even remotely similar) but I don’t get worked up about it.

Ah now, surely you knew that all sahms use network diagrams and gantt charts to plan the housework.

SouthLondonMum22 · 27/07/2025 18:56

I thought this thread was going to be about those who claim to be SAHM's but have teenagers.

I WFH and I'm most definitely not a SAHM.

LittleCosette · 27/07/2025 18:55

But if you’re working from home then are not either employed by someone or self employed? Are you talking about others saying you do not work because that does not seem to be the opinion of this thread.
Edit: I meant to quote @ASimpleLampoon

ShesTheAlbatross · 27/07/2025 18:52

BoredZelda · 27/07/2025 18:36

A mother who is at home all day with her children, rather than having them in daycare is a SAHM. If she works in the evenings whilst her husband is home and/or the kids are in bed, that doesn’t not make her a SAHM? What a load of nonsense.

She does all the same roles as a SAHM, all day, but the poor bugger instead of having a wee seat at night, watching a bit of telly, has to go out and work at night too.

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I think often there is no point having a black and white distinction.

My mum was a SAHM while we were little, then she got a job as a TA at our school. She was with us before and after school, and in school holidays. So she was with us as much, and did as much childcare, as any SAHM with school age children, she also had a paid job while we were at school. I don’t think many people would describe her as a SAHM during that period, but it’s not dissimilar to your example of a woman working in the evenings while the children are in bed or with their dad.

But it depends what issue related to SAHMs you’re talking about. If you’re talking about the level of childcare/amount of time with children, then you’d include my mum with any SAHMs of school age children. But if you’re talking about the effects of trying to get back into the workplace after years of being a SAHM, you’d only count my mum as a SAHM for 10 years (the time from me being born to her becoming a TA), and not for 15 years (the time between me being born and her doing a PGCE and becoming a full time teacher, which she did after 5 years of being a TA).