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Original poster

Who is being unreasonable re weekend cleaning & DC in bed?

142 replies

SuggestedPig · 27/07/2025 14:24

Me and DH both work full time & also have a toddler DC together.

I find that in order to keep on top of the house it helps to have one of my weekend days having a good clean, bed stripping, hoovering, wiping down surfaces, cleaning bathroom etc..

I prefer to wake up on a Sunday and get this stuff done so we can enjoy the rest of the day.

DHs older kids are teens and stay most weekends. As typical teens they tend to sleep in quite late i.e. 11-12ish on a usual Sunday.

DH thinks I should not hoover upstairs until they wake up. I think this is ridiculous. They can stay in bed for as long as they want but the rest of the house should not have to put their day on hold so they aren't woken.

We have a 3 yo so I am woken up every day, weekend or not, by 7am. I am not sitting around until 12 to be allowed to hoover up in my own house so teens can laze in bed all morning without being disturbed.

Surely that's just part and parcel of family life. You can stay in bed but the rest of the house gets on with their normal day while you do!

OP posts:
Anonymouseposter · 27/07/2025 14:47

I would do all the non noisy jobs first then hoover upstairs about 10am. I wouldn't do it any earlier.
If SC and husband still aren't happy with that someone else would have to do it later in the day.
I take it that you aren't actually hoovering in their bedroom, just the landing and your room? I would leave the hoover on the landing when you have finished for them to do their rooms and put it away.
You can clean kitchen and bathroom and downstairs without disturbing them. It's quite common for teenagers to go a bit nocturnal-a completely opposite schedule to a three year old.

wafflesmgee · 27/07/2025 14:46

Why not give the teenagers the choice of you hoovering from 9am onwards or them doing the task after they wake up?
yanbu but it may help relations to give them choice eg one weekend if truly exhausted they can ask to do it themselves later?

Clockworkchocolateorange · 27/07/2025 14:46

Would you be doing exactly the same when your child is a teenager?
mots pretty normal for teens to stay up late and sleep in til late morning. If they’re otherwise good kids, then I wouldn’t be ruining their Sunday mornings lie in.
i would just do/ get DH to put the hoover around one evening instead.

DogsOnFilm · 27/07/2025 14:46

Bellyblueboy · 27/07/2025 14:44

All teenagers do this!

if feels a bit pointed and obnoxious to Hoover at 9am when they are sleeping. It sounds like you are making a point.

i wouldn’t do it - your husband can run a Hoover upstairs after lunch? Everyone is happy. Let’s be honest you are completely outvoted within the house. You are the only one who wants to Hoover this early - why do you get final say when really simple compromises are available?

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Agree.

You clearly have some resentment for your husbands teens OP.

neverbeenskiing · 27/07/2025 14:45

This is a total non-issue, especially as the teens in question haven't even complained. They will most likely sleep through the hoovering as long as their doors are shut. Even if it does wake them briefly, if they are tired enough they will go back to sleep! If they don't go back to sleep then so what? Waking up at 9.30am is hardly going to do them any harm. They don't even have to get out of bed at that time, and if i've understood correctly OP hoovers one morning a week so they can still sleep in 6 days out of 7 during the school holidays.

Bellyblueboy · 27/07/2025 14:44

SuggestedPig · 27/07/2025 14:30

Well yes, because they are staying up until 1am-2am on their Xbox through the holidays!

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All teenagers do this!

if feels a bit pointed and obnoxious to Hoover at 9am when they are sleeping. It sounds like you are making a point.

i wouldn’t do it - your husband can run a Hoover upstairs after lunch? Everyone is happy. Let’s be honest you are completely outvoted within the house. You are the only one who wants to Hoover this early - why do you get final say when really simple compromises are available?

pizzaHeart · 27/07/2025 14:44

I wouldn’t hoover until 9.30 but after 9.30 it’s a fair game. DD is older teen and she is usually still in bed after 9, it’s health reasons not gaming but even so I can’t sit and wait the whole day,
I think the problem is that your DH is overdoing a bit. He doesn’t want to treat them as special guests and as a results he treats them not as a part of the family but as special guests. Because part of the family will tolerate hoovering, tag along here and there and do cleaning duties.
Of courses there should be compromise but the real one, not hoovering until lunchtime is not the answer.

GreenCandleWax · 27/07/2025 14:44

Why can't you do this on Saturday morning? The place would be nice for the weekend then. They should be allowed to sleep in undisturbed on a Sunday if that is what they want.

DogsOnFilm · 27/07/2025 14:43

SuggestedPig · 27/07/2025 14:42

I could but typically DH will come out with us

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He can do it when he gets home then.

Mrsttcno1 · 27/07/2025 14:43

SuggestedPig · 27/07/2025 14:42

I could but typically DH will come out with us

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If it’s just a 10 min hoover though it can easily be done my him when you get back? It feels like a lot of hassle for something that can be done literally all afternoon or evening

Original poster
SuggestedPig · 27/07/2025 14:42

HiRen · 27/07/2025 14:41

Have you told DH to do it after his children wake up?

I could but typically DH will come out with us

OP posts:
CoastalCalm · 27/07/2025 14:41

I would just hoover early evening on the Sunday or get it out the way Friday

HiRen · 27/07/2025 14:41

Have you told DH to do it after his children wake up?

Original poster
SuggestedPig · 27/07/2025 14:39

LivingTheDreamOneNightmareAtATime · 27/07/2025 14:38

It sounds like you don’t actually like DHs teens very much, or are pretty resentful about how he lets things slide with them.

Its going to be an interesting time when your 3 year old is their age!

I don't have any issue with DSC at all. I do think DH doesn't make them do enough to help round the house and does baby them a lot for their ages. But this isn't coming from them, it's DH I disagree with.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 27/07/2025 14:38

If your husband wants to pander to them tell him to do it at lunchtime. Otherwise hoover when you want.

LivingTheDreamOneNightmareAtATime · 27/07/2025 14:38

It sounds like you don’t actually like DHs teens very much, or are pretty resentful about how he lets things slide with them.

Its going to be an interesting time when your 3 year old is their age!

Original poster
SuggestedPig · 27/07/2025 14:37

pizzaHeart · 27/07/2025 14:36

Can you move it to Saturdays?

They are here all weekend.

OP posts:
Original poster
SuggestedPig · 27/07/2025 14:37

martinisforeveryone · 27/07/2025 14:35

@helibirdcomp I was just about to suggest the same thing. Offer them the choice, either you hoover to your schedule approx 9-9.30, or they hoover, properly, when they get up while you're out with the toddler.

I'd be wanting to return to a clean and tidy house with nothing else to do on Sunday afternoon except sort out the food for everyone.

This is exactly it. Coming home to a tidy house is so much better than coming in after chasing a toddler round for hours and having to do it then, whilst also having to cook and deal with a now cranky, starting to get tired 3yo.

Just to save DSC 10mins of slight noise at 9am.

OP posts:
mamagogo1 · 27/07/2025 14:36

Before 10am is mean, if you were my neighbour I wouldn’t be happy either. Why can’t their dad vacuum later, there’s plenty of non noisy cleaning

pizzaHeart · 27/07/2025 14:36

Can you move it to Saturdays?

Snorlaxo · 27/07/2025 14:36

Are the teens there on Saturday morning ?

I’ve raised teens and mine didn’t always hear hoovering so I’m 50/50 on this.

user1476613140 · 27/07/2025 14:35

OP. Just hoover when you want. Ignore your DH. Teenagers sleep through it!!!

I have 18, 15, 9 and 7yo. Primary aged DC up 6/7am. Teenagers up around 11/12noon and they sleep through hoovering.

No way would I not hoover just because they're asleep 😴 🤣🤣

martinisforeveryone · 27/07/2025 14:35

@helibirdcomp I was just about to suggest the same thing. Offer them the choice, either you hoover to your schedule approx 9-9.30, or they hoover, properly, when they get up while you're out with the toddler.

I'd be wanting to return to a clean and tidy house with nothing else to do on Sunday afternoon except sort out the food for everyone.

DogsOnFilm · 27/07/2025 14:35

SuggestedPig · 27/07/2025 14:33

Massively mollycoddled imo. They are never made to do anything in the house.

I have suggested this several times but it's never implemented and there is always an excuse as to why they can't, meeting friends or whatever. DH does absolutely everything for them.

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Then your husband can vacuum at some point around their sleep pattern. It doesn’t take long and doesn’t need to be an issue.

Original poster
SuggestedPig · 27/07/2025 14:34

22O725 · 27/07/2025 14:31

If he or they are not happy with you hoovering early in the day he or they can do it later?

They don't say anything tbf. I'm pretty sure they sleep through it or just go back to sleep afterwards anyway! They still don't emerge until lunch time even when I have been hoovering.

OP posts:
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