Who is being unreasonable re weekend cleaning & DC in bed?

I remember this too. my mother would be up banging and clattering and her worst one was the radio on loud. now in my house Sunday is a nice relaxing day. housework if needed is done on a Saturday. Sunday mornings are nice and relaxing. also to note we live in a working farm house so animals to be fed etc every morning but even with that there would be no noise in the morning and people sleeping get to sleep. rest is just as important. why can't you have a chore list with your husband and everyone do some of it on a Saturday or when they get up on Sunday? is the world going to end if the hoovering is not done Sunday morning ?

I’d say after 1030 is fine.

I don't hoover super early but my DH just does it when he wants regardless if the kids are sleeping. They've never even mentioned it, not sure if they even hear it to be honest anyway and as your dsc haven't even mentioned it, I'm guessing they aren't bothered either by it.

Oh god my mother used to hoover when I was in bed at the weekends and then go on mad cleaning sprees which we were dragged into. Yes stuff has to get done but not early in the morning and for a good portion of the weekend, just because you’re up at the crack of Dawn doesn’t mean you have to get everyone else up- I have to stop dh going out mowing early, people deserve a rest!!!

Nine am start is a good compromise at weekends. Obviously don’t deliberately wake them but you need to get on with housework when it suits you. Y

We are lucky to have a cleaner. She comes at 7:30 and by 8:30 she is hoovering outside the teens’ bedrooms. If they wake, they fall asleep again. They miss out on getting their rooms cleaned but that is consequence of their laziness! I would not ask her to tiptoe around their schedule, no way. They have not complained either as they know that would be diva behaviour.

Have them run the Hoover and do a couple other chores when they get up.

They should be part of the cleaning, and they still get to sleep in.

Yep totally agree

Yep agree with pp.

I’m with you on this, anytime from 9.30 in our house is considered a lie in and I get on with jobs. Noisy or not. I get two days off a week I’m not creeping around to suit everyone at a reasonable time

This and would you feel the same if they were your own children?
Let them have a lie in

What about what everybody else in the house wants? 😂 Why do the wants of the teens - or in fact the DH, as the teens so far haven't complained - trump the wants of the OP to organise her day? She's the one ensuring a clean and pleasant living environment, managing meals for everyone, arranging activities for their 3yo etc. It's beyond ridiculous to pander to this degree. OP should be able to hoover after 9am in her own home.

BTW my dad used to storm into my bedroom shouting at me to get my "rotting carcass out of that stinking pit!" if I stayed in bed past 8am at the weekend, and my mother used to cry theatrically if I failed to appear in time to go to 9:30am church, which may be why I don't mind my household going about their business at normal volume as long as they don't actually tell or ask me to get up, and think it's reasonable to let my teens sleep undisturbed with their bedroom doors closed but don't think anyone has to tiptoe around the rest of the house.

It depends, I suppose, whether the housework is being done performatively (as in the trilling mother referred to by someone else) - that's unpleasant - but pragmatically getting a chore done without fuss rather than suspending activity until everyone is up is just normal life. As I said before, anyone who wants the task left to later can do said task themself.

Single ladies learn this very important lesson. When you have the hots for a man who is divorced with Kids, please think again - this kind of stuff pops up so much. Mum's don't have a hard time when they have small kids and teenagers because those are their own kids and everybody learns how to get along. Stepmoms have a really hard time with this and so do stepdad's. It's nobody's fault it's just the way it is. In this scenario, the man has to have his kids back because those are his kids right. Big ones and small ones it doesn't matter they're all his biological children. He's gonna stick up for all of them, especially the ones who have been around a lot longer.

I don’t use a hoover because of the noise. My mother used to do this and I hated the sound

I have several teenage children (no step or blended family so fewer eggshells to be treading on) and like a lie in myself tbh. DH and our youngest teen tend to get up early, just because they wake early. Nobody tries to be quiet particularly after 9am, but equally nobody tells anyone else to get up at a certain time unless they have plans together. I think yanbu and if your "D" H thinks that you are, then he can do the hoovering himself at whatever time he thinks appropriate.

Why are you doing all the cleaning? Anyone who wants certain chores leaving until the afternoon should take over those chores.

I think yabu, I have a young teen and there is no way I would wake him up, he's exhausted after a week of school (or gaming) - they still need more sleep. Unless you are trying to set yourself up as the wicked stepmother which will end in them wanting to spend less time at your house?!

Where and what is your OH doing whilst you do this cleaning? And even more to the point do you only hoover once a week? wouldn’t it make sense in that case to hoover when OH’s kids go home so you can clean the extra floor traffic? It does seem a bit petty that you insist on doing this when they’re still sleeping.

I don’t hoover when people are sleeping. My mother used to do this while trilling “I like to get all my jobs done in the morning!” And I still think it was a dick move 35 years later. I was out late at work rather than playing on a x-box but I don’t think it matters. Lie ins are nice and it sounds like you have 4+ people in your household capable of pushing a hoover around and a lot of alternative time.

Brought back memories.
As a teen, late night on Saturday. Sleep in Sunday.
But mum would get the vacuum out, vacuum under bed, and around.
I would eventually get up, go to the kitchen, dad had made toast hours earlier, and I had cold toast for breakfast.

I think 9 am is a reasonable time to vacuum.

I have a teen and wouldn't hoover while he is sleeping. Plenty of other times when it can be done. YABU.

This! If anyone wants to criticise what time I do the housework I take it as an offer to take over.
Being woken up by people living around you is a natural consequence of staying up too late gaming. I wouldn't be stopping my routines for kids who refuse to adopt a decent sleeping pattern.
It would be different if they needed to be up at night due to shift work, bar work, or collaborating with Americans. I'd still expect DH to take the hoovering as it is his kids but I wouldn't be consider it rude to be asked to change it.

Agree with a PP - this is such a non issue! Just hoover 9.30am as you wish. They'll sleep through it and if they wake up they can go back to sleep 🤷‍♀️

Are you really just seething inside that his teens are lolling about in bed in your house? Because there are many practical solutions to this problem that don’t require much imagination or adjustment at all. Are you just wanting them to live the way you think they should be living in your house?

I was going to say that.

OP I have an older teen & i wouldn't hoover when they're sleeping.

I think it's pretty mean & i too think you'll most likely change your tune when it's your own dc at that age