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Original poster

Who is being unreasonable re weekend cleaning & DC in bed?

142 replies

SuggestedPig · 27/07/2025 14:24

Me and DH both work full time & also have a toddler DC together.

I find that in order to keep on top of the house it helps to have one of my weekend days having a good clean, bed stripping, hoovering, wiping down surfaces, cleaning bathroom etc..

I prefer to wake up on a Sunday and get this stuff done so we can enjoy the rest of the day.

DHs older kids are teens and stay most weekends. As typical teens they tend to sleep in quite late i.e. 11-12ish on a usual Sunday.

DH thinks I should not hoover upstairs until they wake up. I think this is ridiculous. They can stay in bed for as long as they want but the rest of the house should not have to put their day on hold so they aren't woken.

We have a 3 yo so I am woken up every day, weekend or not, by 7am. I am not sitting around until 12 to be allowed to hoover up in my own house so teens can laze in bed all morning without being disturbed.

Surely that's just part and parcel of family life. You can stay in bed but the rest of the house gets on with their normal day while you do!

OP posts:
samthepigeon · 29/07/2025 05:43

stayathomer · 27/07/2025 15:29

Oh god my mother used to hoover when I was in bed at the weekends and then go on mad cleaning sprees which we were dragged into. Yes stuff has to get done but not early in the morning and for a good portion of the weekend, just because you’re up at the crack of Dawn doesn’t mean you have to get everyone else up- I have to stop dh going out mowing early, people deserve a rest!!!

I agree, but 9 isn't early morning. It is a late start for many!

samthepigeon · 29/07/2025 05:40

ThyroidOnTheBlink · 28/07/2025 18:38

This. Teens sleep late because their body clock shifts at that age not because they are lazy. There are so many other times you (or someone else) could hoover other than Sunday morning. If people are sleeping you don’t disturb them, sleep is important. As a pp said, it’s a dick move.

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Why should the sleep pattern of teenagers take priority over that of a mum with a toddler? Teenagers will truly cope with a bit of disturbance. Either that or they will sleep through it. They have resilience, surely?

whynotwhatknot · 28/07/2025 22:37

does your dh do any housework

zaxxon · 28/07/2025 21:18

Rumors1 · 28/07/2025 12:34

If the teenagers need their sleep that badly, they should not be gaming until 1 or 2 am and then need a quiet house in the morning.

My teenagers are in bed by 10am, the boys get up at 7/7.30am and the girl about 8.30.

Sorry you have to endure that. I love my quiet weekend mornings with the teens asleep and the house to myself.

Bobafett2020 · 28/07/2025 20:49

ThyroidOnTheBlink · 28/07/2025 18:38

This. Teens sleep late because their body clock shifts at that age not because they are lazy. There are so many other times you (or someone else) could hoover other than Sunday morning. If people are sleeping you don’t disturb them, sleep is important. As a pp said, it’s a dick move.

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Second this, you sound really unsympathetic to the teenagers, the body clock thing can be really tough and they need to catch up on sleep. And honestly do you really expect a teenager at the weekend to be putting themselves to bed at 10pm to facilitate your early morning hoovering.

Chinsupmeloves · 28/07/2025 19:54

I would usually do downstairs first, in the order of tidy, clean then hoover. Then move on to upstairs. I dont have teenagers but if I did and was ready to do upstairs by 10am I would and tough! Xx

ThyroidOnTheBlink · 28/07/2025 18:38

Mrsttcno1 · 27/07/2025 14:30

Could you not just re-jig your day? Breakfast, dressed & then park in the morning while they have their lie in, tidy/hoover etc afterwards?

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This. Teens sleep late because their body clock shifts at that age not because they are lazy. There are so many other times you (or someone else) could hoover other than Sunday morning. If people are sleeping you don’t disturb them, sleep is important. As a pp said, it’s a dick move.

OneAmberFinch · 28/07/2025 17:42

Not unreasonable. I feel very much more at peace when I know there are no chores left to do. 9 is totally reasonable. They are probably awake and scrolling on their phones anyway...

largeprintagathachristie · 28/07/2025 17:40

As a night owl teenager I would have been annoyed at early hoovering.

But it’s actually a moot point as it was my job to hoover from about age 14. My mum would pointedly leave the vacuum cleaner right outside my bedroom door if I’d been a bit lax . Tripping over that when I finally woke up and got up was a clear message…

user1476613140 · 28/07/2025 17:33

W0tnow · 28/07/2025 12:16

What do you use?

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Probably a dustpan and brush.

Murdoch1949 · 28/07/2025 14:25

Warn them of your Sunday routine. If they choose to stay up late & sleep in, it is up to them.

Rumors1 · 28/07/2025 12:34

If the teenagers need their sleep that badly, they should not be gaming until 1 or 2 am and then need a quiet house in the morning.

My teenagers are in bed by 10am, the boys get up at 7/7.30am and the girl about 8.30.

Elmaas · 28/07/2025 12:19

Does he and his children do anything?
Or are you the skivvy aupair?

W0tnow · 28/07/2025 12:16

FairKoala · 27/07/2025 15:17

I don’t use a hoover because of the noise. My mother used to do this and I hated the sound

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What do you use?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 28/07/2025 00:18

If your husband doesn't want you hovering on Sunday morning then he should do it on Saturdays afternoon

Y2ker · 27/07/2025 23:38

Lavenderfowl · 27/07/2025 14:32

If DH wants it done later maybe he should do it?!

Exactly this. Is he spending any of his weekend on housework?

Bradley28 · 27/07/2025 17:39

Why don’t you just leave the hoovering for someone else to do? Do what you can & go out to enjoy your day, let the teenagers have their lie in. There are other people in the house who can hoover in the afternoon when you are out, or at tea time. Ultimately doesn’t matter when it gets done, so long as it gets done at some point.

zaxxon · 27/07/2025 17:38

I don't hoover till noon on a weekend. Teens need their sleep

heroinechic · 27/07/2025 17:28

I don’t know why you’re being so particular about when the hoovering has to be done. Does it make a difference if DH does it in the evening once you get home, or the teenagers do it when they wake up?

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 27/07/2025 17:27

I'd be fucking furious at someone hoovering at 9 am on a Sunday. Far too early. Teenagers need their sleep.

needtostopnamechanging · 27/07/2025 17:26

I’d leave it till last but

BeachLife2 · 27/07/2025 17:25

I don't think there's any need for hoovering to happen while anyone is in bed tbh.

LifesTooShortForBadSex · 27/07/2025 17:23

OP, would you insist on hoovering upstairs when your child was down for a nap?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/07/2025 17:17

Of course he’s being ridiculous.

Get the teens some silicone earplugs. Yes teenagers need their sleep but my dd (16) finds these do the trick if others in the house need to be up early.

Whether people are early sleepers or late risers you can’t really have the house in silence to accommodate them.

Simplelobsterhat · 27/07/2025 17:17

I think, apart from if someone works nights or other reasons why they HAVE to stay up late (not by choice) then 9.00 onwards on a weekend is fine for noise like hoovering. Their schedule is not more important than yours, and frankly for most people who have a job or school / college, 9.00 is already at least a 2 hour lie in compared to when they would usually get up in the week. It also allows for 8 hours sleep even if they stay up until 1am.

I wouldn't go in their room hoovering, but would happily hoover the landing etc. and probably leave them the hoover upstairs with expectations they do their room when they wake.

OP, having a full time job, a toddler and by the sounds of it doing all or most of the house cleaning is an exhausting job, and you are right to manage it in the way that works best for you. In fact I'm inspired by your routine. My house is a shit hole since I went full time because I don't have that routine / motivation, and my kids are older than yours, so if you've found a way that works for you, don't drop it! You are not less important than anyone else in the house.