13 year old watching newborn

You take your kid in the bathroom while you do a shit?

As in you are right OP

It’s reasonable for a newborn.

You get lovely long showers and get ready sessions 😂😂

That's the funniest thing I've ever read from a new mummy.

You watch them and your DP can do jobs around the house for you then. You should be resting still

Impossible not to unless you use a sling constantly. When my first was a newborn he would sleep in the Moses basket in the corner of the room, I would sit a few feet away watching TV but I still had to leave the room to go get a drink/snack/go to the toilet. If I needed a shower I would put him in his crib in my room and have a shower in my ensuite, if I needed to cook I would keep him in the Moses basket in the lounge and go next door to the kitchen with the door open. I just made sure all the cats were shut out.

I would have no issue asking my almost 8 year old to sit in the room with a baby, I definitely wouldn't be expecting him to watch it all the time but it wouldn't be necessary because the baby would be in a safe place with nothing to harm it.

There’s nothing wrong with how you feel OP. I used to feel the same when my babies were so little. They are still so new and vulnerable. As you say, if they accidentally pull a blanket over their face, they would struggle to get it back down. Newborns have brilliant gag reflex so unlikely to choke on their vomit. My first advice would be to never entrust a child with another child. You wouldn’t forgive yourself if anything happened and it’s not fair on the child who’s been given that responsibility. You should be popping in and out of the room to check on baby every few minutes if the DSD is with her. What is your DSD’s behaviour like? Would you trust her or do you feel conscious she could be sneaky with the baby whilst no one else is around? That’s always something to be cautious about with other children around, especially if there is a jealousy issue. Sounds to me like perfectly normal musings to be uncertain. A family member once told me that she came down to check on her newborn in the pushchair and the family cat was sitting on the baby’s face (for warmth) - thankfully the situation was realised quickly otherwise I dread to think what could have happened.

If the baby is awake he/she needs to be watched by a competent adult. Sounds like your DSD doesn’t fit the bill as she isn’t interested (fair enough, she’s 13).

A sleeping baby can be watched by anyone.

I agree your anxiety is OTT. It’s not necessary to watch a sleeping baby 24/7. You will make yourself ill from sleep deprivation if someone really is awake all night.

If you have another baby, you simply won’t have the luxury of doing this.

I'd say its fine OP, you're still in the same house, not off down the pub (which is what i ended up doing as a 13 year old btw, i babysat two evenings a week for my newborn DSis while my mum went to the pub, but the this was the late 80s)

It’s an irony that people are swooping in with crazy catastrophising statements like this , calling the OP excessively anxious!!

Precious first born syndrome?

I feel like you are getting a pile on here, by people who have come through the early phase of having a new born baby. Everything is still new, you are finding your feet and getting called out for health anxiety isn’t going to help. Hashtag ‘be kind’ anyone!
OP carry on looking after your baby. When you get more confident with the huge changes your life has undertaken you’ll start to relax more. In the meantime encourage your DSD and welcome her to bond with her new sibling.

OP please speak to someone about this, you will literally go insane and then your baby wont have you around as a predictable, safe consistent person. You cant keep this sort of thing up.

This baby is incredibly advanced. She is going to wander off and get some nuts out the cupboard and choke

OP I hope you havent implied to the 13 year old in any way that she did anything wrong by being on her phone?

What do you think she's going to do?

I went to the kitchen and left my newborn without a 13 year old to watch them. Surely most people do this?

Trust me, unless OP has other symptoms of anxiety and depression, no health care professional is going to be worried about a first time mum of a 2 week old baby wanting to ensure baby is with an adult all the time. I’m a GP with 35 years experience, so I’ve seen pretty much the full spectrum of baby attachment.

Obviously if OP felt the same in 6 months time it would be concerning, but not now.

If you’re at home I wouldn’t have a problem with it, so long as DC is willing and sensible.

No.

Not every new mother.

And not every new mother behaves like this.

This is concerning.

So this is your first child and your that paranoid parent. 13 year olds used to have thier own babies many years ago. More than capable of watching a sleeping baby. You are being ridiculous

It’s a long time ago but I’m pretty sure I remember doing that too, at least in the very early weeks. I think that’s actually a fairly normal level of supervision with a first baby. Obviously as time passes, and with subsequent kids, the anxiety diminishes. But at your stage OP, I think your behaviour is normal and understandable.

@Newmum99653

what about when your husband does back to work after paternity leave? Will you not shower, cook/eat, clean’ dry your hair etc if it’s just you and your baby in the house?
oh and your baby probably doesn’t wanna be in the toilet with you - pretty stinky for them!

Babies who can't yet roll over let alone crawl are absolutely fine to be left without eyes on them constantly. Think about it rationally: most new parents need to cook a meal, parent older children, drive a car, take the bus, go to the shops etc. All of that means that baby won't have eyes on them every minute of the day.

So long as baby is in earshot (e.g. via a baby monitor or in the same room as someone) then they're fine. You can watch TV, nap, cook, clean, shower etc. - whatever you want. As you'll have already discovered, babies are pretty good at telling us when they're not happy with something (even if they're terrible at telling us exactly what it is that they're unhappy about!).

The teenager is absolutely fine to be on her phone or watching TV or going her homework if she's in the same room as baby. So long as she's not ignoring baby or is so wildly distracted that she wouldn't notice if baby was in distress.

I understand everything is very new and very challenging at the moment and it's normal to be anxious about your baby. But please believe me when I say that your baby is fine to be watched by a young teen on her phone so long as a responsible adult is somewhere around the house or garden should a problem arise. Enjoy your new arrival and don't forget to look after yourself too.

You are over anxious

Speak to you HV

You say you’re not anxious but kindly you do sound anxious. I think a sensible 13 year old is perfectly capable of keeping an eye on baby whilst your occupied in another area of the house providing you’ve left the baby in a safe place. However it’s not necessary for someone to be watching them at all times. Buy a decent baby monitor.