13 year old watching newborn

Well a 14 day old shouldn't have any lose blankets so that's shouldn't be an issue.

Are you saying you expect somebody to always be looking at baby? That's pretty unreasonable. 2 adults in the house and 13 year old in room with baby even if they are on their phones seems fine to me.

Some people use the term ‘watch’ the baby to mean look after them. I see that you mean it literally, that somebody should be staring at the baby the whole time. As others have said, that is not normal.

It would be safer to leave him asleep in his moses basket downstairs for the few minutes you're in the loo, he will be fine and it will be good practice for you to realise he's fine.

Maybe Op is using a downstairs loo?

OPs child is 14 days old?

There's more of a risk to the baby to carry him up and down the stairs in a moses basket unnecessarily, multiple times a day.

It would be safer to leave him asleep in his moses basket downstairs for the few minutes you're in the loo, he will be fine and it will be good practice for you to realise he's fine.

You take the Moses basket INTO the toilet with you whilst you wee?? @Newmum99653will love , please chill out. You really can do a wee whilst baby is safely in the basket in another room. All this obsessive behaviour is going to really wear you out. It’s all ok but you do need to calm down.

Also to all keyboard warriors telling this freshly postpartum mum to "get a grip", please please show some compassion to somebody who's reaching out for advice, and is going through massive life changes.

I took my first born to the toilet too and didn't like having my eyes of him so I do understand. No 2 and 3 were left alone downstairs whilst I was cleaning upstairs or whilst I was in the kitchen cooking tea. They were absolutely fine. As long as a non-mobile baby is left in a safe space they will be fine alone. As long as the 13yo is sensible and won't be doing things like leaving baby on a couch or passing them small items to play with it will be fine.

@Newmum99653 you're getting a hard time on here. Navigating personal boundaries with a newborn is going to be challenging (especially when you want to protect them from the world!) and you've come on here to guage if youre being OTT.

If your baby is sleeping peacefully I personally wouldn't be worrying about someone having to be with them constantly - a sleepbag might be more comforting for you than a blanket as they wouldn't be able to pull anything over their face. So in this case your DSD isn't doing anything terrible by being on their phone.

If you're worried about your DSD when the baby is awake then that's something else entirely, and i think it's only fair on you that you're able to build up trust. My parents let me do what I wanted with my baby sister from the age of 8, and they didnt bat an eyelid, although I was a very mature 8 year old! So shes not too young, but seeing how she interacts with your baby will help you work out whether she can be left alone for periods of time.

Who’s looking after the baby while you’re on your phone? Sorry but your behaviour is not normal.

You asked if YABU. Many have said yes you are but you keep fighting back. You very obviously don't trust your DSD with your PFB unsupervised so feel free to spend your life watching it (no sex mentioned hence use of it).

As @monkeysox said - get a grip.

I'm not going to judge you op, I remember those early days, your world is a sleep deprived bubble of newborn right now.

You will learn to let go a little, your baby will be perfectly fine with the 13yo watching them whilst you potter around the house.

I would maybe speak to your health visitor if the anxiety doesn't ease a little, just for some additional support and coping mechanisms.

Congrats on the new baby

What do you do when hes asleep?

Why is that funny?

Please read this back in 3 years time (when you will wish you had 5 pairs of eyes to keep your mobile child out of mischief - and when this will actually be necessary) and take in the bat shittery. Gawping at a newborn 24/7? Yeah good luck with that. Let's see how long you can keep that up for.

From one mum to another , please try not worry so much, which I know is hard in the newborn stage, as your hormones are still not back to usual and you're completely exhausted. Your dsd is a teenager and more than capable of watching your newborn , while you're in the same house as briefly doing chores.

Good catch thanks, my first point is aimed more along the lines of the parent and the older child respectively. It’s certainly more nuanced between parents and perhaps the point is more that deference is owed to the more concerned and recovering from major surgery parent but still OPINBU.

I thought you meant going out and leaving baby with them then I would say in most cases irresponsible
but
14 year old sat on sofa while you/DH/adult is just in the next room while baby is in secure device (bouncer, moses basket, pen etc...) is fine.

I mean who stares at the baby while you all sleep?

Could you still be hormonal from birth, I don't mean that badly at all but in hospital (had to stay in for weeks with 2 or my 3 kids) I was very like that and made myself insane by not sleeping 'just in case'. I think its the very public location of being on a ward that really set my 'newborn paranoia' off, I was much more relaxed once home with baby but with my oldest (PFB) I still had bouts of 'worst case scenario' until they where about 2 year old. Its fairly normal and means you care and are in 'protect mode' but its not always the most 'logical' thought processes.

I’m pretty anxious myself and had a serious go at my husband for letting an 8 year old watch my 10-months old while he went in the kitchen, but a newborn safely in their crib and someone else in the same room on their phone / sleeping / watching TV is ok, most people can’t literally have eyes on them 24/7 and the good thing is that they’re not mobile yet, this will be a completely different ballgame in a few months time

“ I would say I watch him the majority of the day through pure enjoyment even if he is sleeping”

This is super cute. I remember feeling like that with my first. DC2 only got checked occasionally to make sure she was still alive, poor thing 😅

Please do not use your child to do your mothering role.

It's completely understandable to be protective of your newborn. I think leaving with 13 year old for any length of time depends on their maturity etc. I personally would invest in a really comfy carrier (I have ergo baby which is great) - It was the only way I could get anything done in the first months.

This is seriously OTT.
A baby is not a television screen. You do NOT need to have eyes glued on it the whole time.
As for taking the baby into the bathroom while you crap - well I've heard it all now.
What a weird set up.

Have you ever seen what this sort of burn out can do to mums? I have, Ive seen it as a professional over many years. Its not fun. OP needs support to come back down.

That's really rude.

Yes you are being OTT as others have said. Your baby doesn't need eyeballs on him 24/7. You say you don't have anxiety but you clearly do. You should get some help with that.