13 year old watching newborn

You seem intent on thinking your behaviour is normal and anything less is verging on negligence. I have 3 adult DC and one baby GC, so yes i've got DC. Seriously, if you don't relax you'll go insane, your level of anxiety needs addressing.

Yes 100%! It’s normal, them first few weeks are the hardest. You worry about their sleep, are they breathing, are they getting enough cuddles, I think it’s really unfair for people to say “well they won’t get up and walk will they”

I can’t believe what people are saying to a new mum

@Newmum99653 . All you can do is risk assess your situation. Many would say to me that 5 is too young to leave a child alone with the baby, but my boy never touched the baby in the bassinet or gave me any other cause for concern. He's sensible, follows instructions and tbh is much more interested in his own activities and what he's doing or building than young babies. I know older children though who can't be left for a minute - they try to pick up babies or kiss them without permission, or are rough with them. And that makes life very hard for the parents.

Personally, I wouldn't let 13yo pick up the baby by herself until the baby has some head control or is sitting up. I think that's a reasonable boundary. I don't see any issue with leaving a sleeping baby in a safe space (crib/bassinet) with a sensible child of that age.

DC2 was crawling from before 6 months so tbh DC1 did a lot of fed-up relocating DC2 off whatever he was playing with. Eventually we used the playpen panels to fence a bit of the living-room off for DC1's toys and that worked better.

My husband went back to work after a week with DC2 and we had no family help. I used to leave my 5yo watching cartoons with the baby in a raised bassinet in the same room (solid thing, huge base, built like a tank) and instructions to come tell me if the baby was crying while I showered for 15 minutes with the door open.

Tbh I never had any concerns. I knew my DC and that he was sensible and not interested in picking up babies and just wanted to watch TV. It's just not the sort of thing he ever would have done. He's always been completely uninterested in babies in general, although he loves his little sister. I know other people who have had difficulties and could not leave older kids alone with babies at all, but I would think most 13yos could be trusted.

Some young babies are in day nurseries. No nursery has a one to one ratio, so every adult will be supervising more than one child. Impossible to keep eyes on every baby all the time.

It sounds like OP is a first time mum to a small 14 day old baby. It’s clear she’s over anxious, like millions of woman are when they become mums for the first time. Some of the comments are harsh in my opinion!

OP it’s natural and even sensible to be aware of all the things that could happen whilst caring for a newborn but it is totally OK for you or DP to put your newborn down for 5 mins to go and do something that needs doing. I used to leave DS whilst making a tea, lunch, a quick shower, to pop upstairs.

Please make sure you are taking time for yourself too and caring for yourself.

I used to leave my baby while I took a shower only for like 5/10 minutes, he’s nearly 25 now and absolutely fine, I did used to take his older brother in the bathroom with me though, I didn’t like leaving a three year old alone with him, and he was obviously into everything, but that’s a totally different age, I would have thought a 13 year old would be fine, even if they are on their phone.

Massive difference between not leaving the baby alone with nieces and nephews and leaving them alone with their sister. And she's not alone. Unless your house is a mansion your DH was within ear shot
What age is it okay for someone else to be left alone with your baby. 16, 18 , 21? Some 13 year olds are more responsible than some 16 year olds
I don't think you're going to play attention to the answers you've been given though so don't know why you asked.

My DD was 11 when her brother was born. He was a complete Velcro baby and I counted my lucky stars she loved giving him a cuddle as it meant I could get a quick shower, sort the tea. I still Considers this supervised as she’d sit on the bed next to my en-suite or the couch next to the kitchen… she’s now 13 and regularly hangs out with him - I’d never leave the house but she always offers it if I just need to pop the shops, I might when she turns 14.

There's a difference between a 13yo and a 3yo being alone with the baby though. Hopefully after this thread you can see that?

You don't have to agree with everything he says either. You talk and come to a middle ground. Or you ask others, like you did here, and find out who is the reasonable one.

You do realise the baby isn't just hers.. right?

it's already causing problems though. She poor 13 year old girl is already having points 'raised' to her dad about her not watching the baby.

also anxiety can easily spiral if not nipped in the bud. What will she do when this baby is mobile? Never get a glass of water or take the bins out?

Just because someone's a mum it doesn't mean they are always right.

I still can't get over carting the baby and Moses basket into the bog when OP does a shit!

Your baby, your decision. Who cares if you're being overprotective. The baby is 14 days old. Do what you feel comfortable with. If it should start to be a problem FOR YOU, then you can talk to someone about it.

Did you just ask if the commentors on Mumsnet have children?

Everyone knows it’s not about the phone, it’s still not normal or practical to sit and watch a baby all day.
There will be many times you need to answer the door, the phone, cook dinner, wash up, put out laundry. You will not be able to physically watch a baby at all times. That’s not what parenting is.

Don't strap a newborn in anywhere firstly, flat on back in cot, Moses basket, pram carrycot, blanket on floor even but not in a bouncer etc strapped in.

What did you expect?

There's not much advice to give beyond "chill".

My pfb (also the world’s only and most amazingly fascinating baby at that particular time ) weighed in at over ten pounds. No way I’d been able to cart him around in a Moses basket, even without a c section.

I’m think you’re taking a bit of a kicking here OP. That said the gist of the answers are right. I would have thought any adult, let alone a 13yo, would be fiddling on their phone rather than gaze at a newborn sleeping.

@Newmum99653 Bu you are being OTT as many people have told you …..

Still significantly more risk in carrying a baby IN a Moses basket, which you categorically aren’t supposed to do, rather than leaving them for all of a few minutes in a safe space while you use the bathroom.