13 year old watching newborn

Advice changes, most of us followed or follow what we are told at the time.

My mum did all bottles in the am stored in the fridge. I made mine up as and when or used the premade. Toes to bottom on back but again with me it was however the hell id actually sleep

@Newmum99653 I haven't read the full thread so forgive me if it's already been mentioned but you should be using cellular blankets so baby can still breath even if he does manage to pull it up over his face.

I personally would have eyes on my 2 week old baby at all times so I don’t think you are unreasonable to not want a teenager watching her.

I just feel so bad after what I have read, but it obviously done him no harm, I weaned him as well at 3 months, he was a very hungry baby even the hungry milk didn’t help, I remember my health visiter had a right go at me, well if she could see him now, he’s a big healthy strapping lad.

@Newmum99653 I was (by the sounds of it) so similar to you. I took my baby into the bathroom with me! I was up for hours and hours in the hospital as she was asleep on my chest and I just couldn’t bear to move her!
I think you are wise to be thoughtful about the safety of your DSD keeping an eye on baby and I think it depends entirely on what she is like in general. It is also okay to want/need to be around your baby and to be really thoughtful about baby’s safety. It’s also okay to be a bit OTT as a FTM; my experience was that I have chilled out over time and they are now very adventurous kids! Enjoy these early days - and make the most of any help you can really trust by sleeping as much as you can!

Obviously it's your husband's second baby so he is less neurotic. I suspect if you have another baby you will look back and cringe

If your upstairs and your DP is in the kitchen I don’t think it matters if the teen is in the room or not, you’re not a million miles away from the baby. I would often leave my babies to nip in to the kitchen to do a few jobs, I just made sure I kept popping my head in

My child was in the car seat way longer than the recommended time.

She would only sleep when being taken out in the pram and then I’d lift the car seat attachment off and get a couple of hours sleep uninterrupted.

My DC is perfectly healthy and I tell people to do whatever they need to do to get some sleep, although now I would advise the car seat as a last resort but I still don’t think people should feel guilty about using it.

I took my baby into the bathroom with me too.

I really struggled with leaving them to cry and so it was just easier to have them with me (I had no partner).

In hindsight, a few minutes alone wouldn’t have harmed them but with your first you are over cautious.

Your DH leaving the baby alone is ok and leaving them with DSD is ok too, as long as DSD doesn’t try and lift them up when they’re not supposed to etc.

Having that other pair of eyes/hands will come in very useful.

I think since it’s a teen you are being over the top but you are a first time mum so it’s excusable.

If you were talking about a toddler or even an under 10 I’d be on your side. If both of these children were yours you wouldn’t be so worried about it but at the same time you then wouldn’t be a first time mum.

Yes I took my first born newborn 5 days old to the bathroom with me for my first post birth poop, dh had gone out I had no idea what it was going to be like, worried my insides were going to fall out. So I don’t get the hate there. We also have the safer sleeper and the breathing mat in his bed.

I’ve just googled it as I was intrigued, I feel awful now, but honestly he was fine and has grew up fine, but yes it’s not recommended.

It restricts their breathing, look it up, they're only meant to be in a car seat for a very limited amount of time in a 24hr period

I used to put my son in his car seat to sleep, he hated lying down and would cry all night, he only liked being upright, I strapped him in.
Why can’t you put them to sleep in a car seat? He’s 24 now and perfectly healthy.

13 is plenty old enough to watch a newborn, you are being unreasonable. It simply isn't possible, or healthy to watch a baby every second- you need to relax, or you baby will finish up as anxious as you are.

may i just check ,what are you leaving your baby in where he is strapped in on his back? Anxiety is normal and common but sometimes it’s hard to see the wood for the trees. I just want to reassure you that babies are safe when they are lying flat on their backs…there is a reflex that helps babies clear their airways . But you shouldn’t be leaving a very young baby to sleep in eg.a car seat or a rocker.

I can understand where you’re coming from to a certain extent. I know when my son was a newborn if I was in bed trying to sleep and I heard him crying I would come down to check on him even though he was with his dad and perfectly fine. It’s natural as a mum to want to be there and know they are safe but you do have to trust other people. A 13 year old in the same room whilst you are in the house would be no concern to me.

You risk damaging the sibling relationship if you convey to your step daughter that you don't trust her with the baby.

The two of them will be fine together. She's close enough to call out for help. And a tiny baby isn't likely to get into difficulties anyway either being cuddled by someone or in a bouncy chair or on a mat on the floor. Unlike a mobile toddler.

I 🤔 it really depends on the maturity of the 13 year old. I babysat small babies as a 14 year old when the parents were out for the evening. I also cared for an 18 month old for whole days when their parents went up to London

This is more than wanting your child to be "safe"...dont you think every parent wants that? You don't sound very well with your level of anxiety really

Surely you put the baby to sleep in his bedroom, or out in a pram/stroller in the garden? There is no need for anyone to 'watch' him so long as you're within hearing distance or have a baby monitor.

Very good advice

That level of anxiety is over the top. Perhaps have a chat with your gp or health visitor. Congratulations on this birth of your lovely baby boy and good luck getting some sleep

Sorry, I voted YANBU, because I assumed from the OP the hi.d was 12-18 months or something, but….

If the baby is 14 days old, it cant do anything FFS. Quite frankly, if it’s in a baby bouncer or similar, you can leave it completely unsupervised between feeds if you wanted to.

I’m going to guess this is your first child.

Baby is not 2 weeks old, it's a month old, and the teenager might be a bit older too...

At least, 2 weeks ago her baby was 2 weeks old and get 14 yo SD had just stayed for the first time since having the baby.

I agree with the majority whether the baby is 2 weeks old or 4 weeks old. I think you're being very OTT here. When I opened this, I assumed it was about your teenager taking baby out, or you leaving baby with the teenager whilst you pop to the shops. Not you just being in a different room!

The whole taking the moses basket to the bathroom is far more dangerous than leaving your baby btw. Make the most of the time when you can pop to the loo alone - it won't last!

I'm another one thinking of post natal anxiety.

Her baby is 2 weeks old, myself and my friends all felt this way when baby was really little. It gets better after a few weeks.

But I’m glad you didn’t get this :)