13 year old watching newborn

13 year old Picking the baby up with out adult supervision- no
baby asleep in Moses basket and dsd in same room - fine

it sound like you have some anxiety around the baby. You need to sleep at night, you can leave the baby in a room alone while you go to the toilet/ make a cup tea etc providing they are safe and secure ie in basket or similar.

My son had silent reflux and I was worried about him choking and not hearing. I bought a breathing pad. It went under his mattress and if he stopped breathing an alarm sounded. (This never happened btw)
You can also have a video monitor and carry it round with you.

You really need to stop looking for monsters. The 13 year old is probably more capable than you since they seem to understand that the baby is doing just fine and doesn’t need to be fussed over nonstop. Take a deep breath and go clean your house.

Surely your partner has helped raise one child so has some experience you can trust he’s been there once already .. agree you have some anxiety as it sounds like you won’t leave the baby in a room without another person in it and won’t allow it to be picked up by the sibling unless your present … you may not think you are anxious but you may be making those around you feel anxious - hopefully you will be more relaxed in a few weeks time

OP, save this post. If/when you have more children or when your PFB is a school child, you'll read it back and howl with laughter. I'm not judging, this is normal and new mums are biologically programmed to act this way but please, try to relax.

What do you do when you have a bath and there is only you? I used to bath with all three of them, under 9 when the new one came along. We would all be in the bath, I got out first, dried while the 9 year old held the baby, I took the middle one out, dried him, dressed him, and finally took the baby from the 9 year old, dried and dressed her, and the eldest by then had washed himself and dried himself and dressed himself and I knew where all of them were while I was having a bath.

I don't think new babies should be left on their own, even with an older child of 11, because you don't know what can happen in a very short while, and yes, I would take a baby to the loo in those circumstances.

Geee whizz if our 13 year old hadnt sat with our twins I would never have got showered, cleaned up or anything and ye successfully raised a big brood. It's not rocket science at that age they shout if they want help with something

have your 13 year old take a babysitter course.
kids here can take the babysitter course when they turn 12.

Never alone, in villages with grandmothers and aunties helping

I took my baby to the bathroom too! Don't worry op

I think you need a sling they are lovely

I agree,
But I sympathize op - you're precious little baby you need to have 100% trust in anyone with them. And things can happen, like what if they spill a cup of tea on baby etc, that can send your thoughts spiraling (see my post 'ex DP burnt my baby - thought care around hit drinks went without saying but clearly not!)

It’s not something I was aware of until after my baby was born. Lots of things change. I hate thinking about the car seat we had her in originally. Thankfully we weren’t in any accidents but we once we knew about more about car seats we got 2 extended rear facing seats. It’s sad that it’s not knowledge passed to new parents. I guess it doesn’t help that what is legal is not necessarily safe.

You are being OTT, but you’re only two weeks into motherhood and it’s totally natural to be over protective at this stage. For the first two nights my eldest was home I set an alarm for every hour through the night so that I could check she was breathing. I was not entirely sane at this point! 😂. It’s not just about being naturally protective, sleep deprivation does things to your brain. The newborn stage is really difficult. My advice would be to recognise that you may be being unnecessarily over protective, but don’t feel you have to stop being so. Just let yourself do what you need to do to feel comfortable. And maybe stress to DSD that it’s just that you’re being a bit over protective and it’s no slight on her and she is very much loved and a valued big sister. This stage doesn’t last long.

Mine were born 1994 and 1998, but you'd think it would have been known about then, given all the alerts about SIDS and not putting them on their fronts.

Honestly I think this is a bit over the top. My daughters 12 and she has a wee brother who’s just turned 1 from dad and step mum and she watches him and has done since day 1 of they have been pottering around. Her step mum left them for 15 mins whilst she popped to the shop for nappies the other week. Her dad was working and she wasn’t comfortable my DD going to the shop herself as they just moved into the new house days before and a new area. I didn’t mind. Doors were locked DD had a key in the house incase and the wee boy and her watched his cartoons. She’s very mature for her age and adores her brother to death. He sits in her room with her for hours chilling they love it. X

Don’t worry, my eldest is 18 and this advice was certainly around in the 2000’s …but I’m a physio so anything postural/breathing related will be more likely to lodge in my brain! It was still ok to have a couple of alcoholic drinks a week in pregnancy when i had her, i doubt that is the guidance now!?

It's a major thing not to have been mentioned. Very strange.

Common knowledge now

A newborn is a blob. What can happen? You're lucky you have someone to watch them!

I don't know how I managed to miss this. The only thing we were told was to put them on their backs, not their fronts, with the slogan 'Back to Sleep.'

Depends on the 13 year old… will she leave baby safely strapped in its rocker, or in its cot… or will she keep picking him/her up?
If she’s giving baby a bottle, holding it or winding etc I’d want her supervised personally.

You are meant to avoid long journeys for pre term and very young infants…if you need to ,you should allow regular breaks. The research shows that young babies may be more at risk of breathing difficulties if sleeping in an upright position for too long.Again, it’s about the SIDS risk,the most vulnerable time is under 3 months and certainly 14 days is v.young. www.lullabytrust.org.uk for advice.

I had no idea of this. Nothing about it when mine were babies.