Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

13 year old watching newborn

361 replies

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:29

Am I being unreasonable?

I am not comfortable with our 13 year old DSD watching our newborn whilst we do jobs around the house. Personally my priority is the safety of the newborn and anything can happen quickly (choking, falling, suffocating) if not being watched properly. E.g. I came down and DSD was on phone whilst “watching” newborn whilst I was upstairs and DP was in the kitchen.

My DP on the other hand doesn’t see the problem in this at all.

My view is DSD can hold feed cuddle newborn as much as she wants but whilst we are supervising.
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 27/07/2025 12:49

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:46

@ObliviousCoalmine
if I had a sling I probably would also be wearing him in a sling 24/7. I would say I watch him the majority of the day through pure enjoyment even if he is sleeping.

God forbid I would want my child to be safe and well.

So, get a sling. Then the poor DSD can get on with being a young teenager.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/07/2025 12:49

You cannot keep your eyes on a baby 24/7. You need to occasionally go to toilet or make a drink. If dsd is in the room and you or DH are less than 30 seconds away things should be fine

Original poster
Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:46

@ObliviousCoalmine
if I had a sling I probably would also be wearing him in a sling 24/7. I would say I watch him the majority of the day through pure enjoyment even if he is sleeping.

God forbid I would want my child to be safe and well.

OP posts:
ObliviousCoalmine · 27/07/2025 12:45

I wore my newborn in a sling/wrap, so yes, I did have pretty much constant eyes on her all day for a fair while.

Don’t know why you’re all being pissy with a woman who gave birth to presumably her first child 2 weeks ago. Shit behaviour.

CommissarySushi · 27/07/2025 12:43

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:41

@CommissarySushi wide awake all night, eyes never off him.

do you have children? The level of sleep I have never to him is most certainly not the same as my sleep before so any noise or movement wakes me pretty quickly

Yes, I have a 9 month old baby lol.

I'd say that the lighter sleep of a new mum is equivalent to a 13 year old on their phone in the same room as the baby.

Morgenrot25 · 27/07/2025 12:42

If you are in the house and easily reachable, but just otherwise busy, then it's absolutely fine. I don't think it's fair to the 13 year old to rely on them too much though, as they don't need that level of responsibility, and I also wouldn't go out and leave the 13 year old in charge alone.

Coffeeishot · 27/07/2025 12:42

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:38

@rainbowunicorn well actually when he’s sick if he’s strapped into seat on his back. Possibly sick.
or blankets being accidentally pulled over face as he has animated hands.

so to say the possibility isn’t likely is interesting

What seat a car seat ?

PurpleSaladPotatoes · 27/07/2025 12:42

You’re being over-anxious.

Original poster
Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:42

@JudgeBread okay fair point
will take a chill pill

OP posts:
Original poster
Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:41

@CommissarySushi wide awake all night, eyes never off him.

do you have children? The level of sleep I have never to him is most certainly not the same as my sleep before so any noise or movement wakes me pretty quickly

OP posts:
JudgeBread · 27/07/2025 12:40

I used to look after my little brother when he was brand new and I was about that age so my parents could do stuff, it consisted of sitting next to his pram while I played Playstation and occasionally looking in the pram and poking his little squishy cheeks.

Newborns are really boring OP, there's little that can go wrong as long as DSD is relatively responsible and not likely to lift her sibling up and re-enact the opening of the lion king with him/her.

You're not leaving her to look after the baby alone for a week, you're in the same house. At 14 days old the baby isn't going to choke or fall or suffocate is it, how would that happen? Unless you genuinely suspect your DSD has malicious intentions towards the baby you're being overprotective.

JuvenileBigfoot · 27/07/2025 12:40

Lol I'm on my phone with a baby on the other side of the room RIGHT NOW.

RainSoakedNights · 27/07/2025 12:39

Baby won’t choke at 14 days old, nor will they fall.

Comedycook · 27/07/2025 12:39

How do you think mums of multiple children cope when they're alone at home with their kids?

CommissarySushi · 27/07/2025 12:39

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:38

@rainbowunicorn well actually when he’s sick if he’s strapped into seat on his back. Possibly sick.
or blankets being accidentally pulled over face as he has animated hands.

so to say the possibility isn’t likely is interesting

Do you not ever sleep then? Just watch the baby 24/7?

PollyBell · 27/07/2025 12:38

Greencustardmonster · 27/07/2025 12:37

You know if you have a second child you will sometimes have to have eyes on the toddler/preschooler and not the newborn? My days old second child had to be alone in the living room for a few moments when I took the eldest to the toilet or whatever.

Anxiety around your new baby is normal, but you’re being unreasonable.

I would say sensible precautions is normal not the overused anxiety word though

Original poster
Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:38

@rainbowunicorn well actually when he’s sick if he’s strapped into seat on his back. Possibly sick.
or blankets being accidentally pulled over face as he has animated hands.

so to say the possibility isn’t likely is interesting

OP posts:
Greencustardmonster · 27/07/2025 12:37

You know if you have a second child you will sometimes have to have eyes on the toddler/preschooler and not the newborn? My days old second child had to be alone in the living room for a few moments when I took the eldest to the toilet or whatever.

Anxiety around your new baby is normal, but you’re being unreasonable.

Withdjsns · 27/07/2025 12:36

What are you expecting? I can’t see we watched newborn constantly…

rainbowunicorn · 27/07/2025 12:36

You're being daft. A newborn isn't going to choke on fresh air or suffocate.

PollyBell · 27/07/2025 12:36

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:33

Baby is 14 days old.

Maybe give them a curfew? Why does that make a difference?

Coffeeishot · 27/07/2025 12:36

My sister is 13 years younger than me i was in the same room as her whilst my parents were elsewhere in the house.

tripleginandtonic · 27/07/2025 12:35

My 8/6 year old watched my newborn when I had to do a job. If I've left them safe not much could happen to them.

Comedycook · 27/07/2025 12:35

E.g. I came down and DSD was on phone whilst “watching” newborn whilst I was upstairs and DP was in the kitchen

So you never take your eyes off your baby even if you're in the same room?

CommissarySushi · 27/07/2025 12:35

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:33

Baby is 14 days old.

Unlikely to wander off then.

Swipe left for the next trending thread