13 year old watching newborn

Are people supposed to have their eyes glued to a baby all the time, even when the baby is asleep? I don't think so. As long as both are in the same room and the eldest looks at the baby occasionally and attends if the baby wakes, all should be well. I'm sure you go to sleep when you can.

What jobs around the house do you have to do that takes two of you?

I think you ABU. I didn’t watch my newborns 24/7. I left them sleeping in the carrycot in the lounge whilst I was making my lunch or having a wee. They slept in their cot when I had a quick shower or (gasps) stayed asleep in the pram in the garden whilst I sat inside (in view of the pram but not direct eyes on the baby) whilst I enjoyed a coffee. I even went to sleep at night (they were in the room but obviously I wasn’t looking at them when I was sleeping).
A NT 13 year old is more than capable of being in the same room as a newborn without having to physically watch them continuously. In all honesty, I’d leave a sensible 8 year old to do the same. Not a younger child in case they tried to pick them up or something, but even a 4 year old is capable of keeping an eye on a baby and letting you know if they cry / are coughing etc.

Go easy on yourself OP. You can feel on high alert when you have a new baby but if the feelings persist then you should mention to your Gp.

Op your coming across as very very anxious. Id discuss this with HV. Its not normal foe you not to be able to leave baby in moses basket while you make a drink or go to the toilet

Why would anyone need to sit and physically watch a newborn? Whats wrong with anyone being in the same room as a newborn and being on the phone?

You sound really over the top. Do you mean you won’t leave the room if your DSD is in the room with the baby?

It's fine for 13yo to be on her phone while keeping an eye on the baby.

I know it's a bit anxiety inducing having a new baby but you can pop to the loo for a minute...and look at your phone and grab a glass of water when you need one. Obviously newborn babies do need to be checked on and kept an eye on...I wouldn't leave them in a room and go upstairs for hours without checking but you don't literally have to stare at them 24/7.

You'll drive yourself mad doing that. Perfectly fine to leave baby in a safe place while you go for a wee or put the kettle on.
I'd have a word with your DH and health visitor, just to keep an eye on your anxiety levels.

I’m saying this in a caring way but please speak to your health visitor because this level of anxiety is not normal.

Once he’s mobile he’ll need more careful supervision and you’ll realise that the anxiety you feel now is your brain messing with you.
Does sd wear AirPods while on her phone? Not wearing them so she hears him cry is a fair compromise if that’s an issue although I imagine you and your h would probably hear him.

For short durations or if you’re popping in and out of the room, this is fine. I have a young toddler as well as a newborn, I can’t keep eyes on both at all times. I do baby wear for times when I’m gong to be out of the room for longer than a couple of minutes or to do chores.

I’m not too sure what the issue is? She doesn’t need to be staring at your baby intently to be keeping an eye on them. I often hand off my baby to my stepson whilst I crack on with housework. He’s often sat scrolling on his phone when I come back in. Especially if baby is asleep.

Unless you have concerns about your SD, then there is no worries. Having a toddler as well, has put things into perspective for me, as I used to be quite anxious too. The toddler can definitely not be left unsupervised for longer than ten seconds 😂

That's really not necessary. Give yourself a break and relax a bit.

Please reach out to your gp ot health visitor

Yeah doesn’t matter. The baby doesnt need eyes on them 24:7. You do sleep don’t you and not stare at your baby 24:7?

I think many people are thinking about the young teenager whose dad has had a new baby is someone else and is getting a bollocking for being on her phone next to the baby as she should be watching in case the newborn spontaneously chokes on vomit

OP needs to buy a sling and let the poor girl be a teen, and think about involving her in the baby’s care in fun ways.

Yes watching your baby 24/7 is anxiety and hormones might still be raging around. If you are still like this in a few more weeks you might need to speak to your health visitor or Gp, i know you will probably read this and scoff but just be careful with these feelings.

Hope I didn't come off too harsh, I know how on edge you can be with a new baby. They're so tiny and precious.

Don't forget it's normal to be anxious about your baby's wellbeing all the time, you're hormonally programmed to assume an eagle or a bear might be coming for him at any moment. You just have to kind of overrule the instinct to never leave their side or take your eyes off them.

You'll always worry about him, forever, even when he's 30 and married and out in the world or whatever he does, and that's completely normal mum behaviour. But very little can happen to him at that age with a reasonably responsible tween - and it's a good opportunity for her to start bonding with her new sibling, which can be tricky with such a big age gap.

Congratulations on your new arrival 💐

Believe me that this is written with warmth and understanding - you are being unreasonable because you are two weeks new to parenting and your body is full of hormones and you are sleep deprived. It's okay and understandable that you are feeling this way, but it isn't rational. The rational truth is that your baby is perfectly safe with a 13 year old on their phone. You can take your eyes off your baby without bad things happening. But I do understand why you feel otherwise.

So if you're alone in the house with your baby, how do you use the bathroom?

Maybe focus on leaving him in a safe environment, similarly you would for sleeping?

You can use a bit more clothes/sleeping bag instead of the blanket.
There is no need to allow the risk of falling and I'm not sure how healthy is for the baby to be strapped into a seat at home - get a simple playpen, put it on the floor and than the teen's job will be mostly to not trip over it, secondary to notice any weird sounds.