13 year old watching newborn

If you are going to the bathroom does that mean you are carrying the baby upstairs and down each time - that is far riskier for both of you.
I left my young baby at home with 14 year old sister a couple of times to go to corner shop. Felt lower risk than taking them - guess what they are still okay and have just finished A levels.

Why does he have any blankets on him that could be pulled up? Sleep spaces are to be completely clear, this is what the sleeping bags are for.

13yo on their phone so can't "watch the baby". Are you mad?

I bet you've been on your phone while "watching the baby". They don't need eyes on them 24/7. Don't you sleep?

Ah you don’t like your step daughter then?

how do you think the rest of us do jobs? Even with a newborn? You just get on with it and check in on baby every now and then; you are lucky you have a partner who does stuff and a step child who helps you! Christ sakes woman. You shower your step daughter with love and gratitude for looking after your daughter; not do this. I feel so sorry for her

What was she doing wrongly…. On her phone? As you are?

OP kindly this isn't normal at all. You've asked if YABU or not and every single poster has said yes.

you need to speak to your GP. Postpartum hormones can make new mothers very irrational and neurotic. You probably don't see it but you need to get help for this.
expecting a 13 year old to stare at your child to the point you 'raise it' with their dad is not normal or reasonable behaviour. At all.

OP, when my daughter was born prematurely, my son was 8.

My then husband had used his paternity leave coming to support her and me in the hospital and rushing around so, by the time she was discharged at 2 weeks old (and 3.5 weeks before her due date), it was only my son and me at home and no family support.

So, if I needed a shower, to go to the loo, wash up etc, my 8 year old son watched the baby. I'd also had a c section so I know what's it like.

Seriously, if I had concerns about a 13 year oldest ability to be responsible in these scenarios, it would be because I had concerns around them generally. I'd consider a 13 year old to be old enough to watch a baby.

Honestly, you should take advantage of being able to put your baby down and know they'll be in the same spot when you come back! Those were the days. I miss my little potato baby.

I was looking after a newborn at 13 years old. I don’t recall anything awful happening. There are three people in your house in the scenario you describe with one person being close to the baby. What do you do if you’re on your own?

I guess you don’t trust her much. At 11 I spent the evening walking my week old brother around in my parents room while they hosted a function. (As a mum now I think it’s crazy they hosted a function with a week old baby, it was an official govt function to be fair and not very optional, but I don’t think that it’s crazy that their responsible 11yo looked after the baby.)

But you're complaining the 13 year old was on their phone, which is what those adults are likely doing too

And you're in the house. If baby started choking etc then they could scream for help

You do need help with your anxiety

Aw you baby is so tiny and new and its natural to be really protective and want to be close and respond to tiny movements..

I dont think the baby would fall or choke or suffocate whilst in a moses basket whilst watched by dsd if its all safely set up. Im not sure what they are falling off etc

But I dont think its unusual for a new mum to worry.

And do you think those "responsible adults" stare at your baby every second you're not there?

Completely depends on the teenager, I’m a teacher and I have some year 7s that I would
trust because of their maturity, and I have some year 11s I wouldn’t leave with a goldfish.

It isn’t necessarily the watching, it’s them “looking after” and putting them in a dangerous position accidentally, picking them up and getting distracted kind of thing.

It’s normal to be anxious after giving birth and when you are looking after a tiny human who depends on you for everything. I did mad things with my babies. And literally watching your baby the whole time is a bit mad.

I mean that in the nicest possible way. You don’t need to do that.

Also, the reality is that not so long ago, 13 year olds often had babies of their own. They are capable of looking after them, although it's obviously not ideal.

You take your baby into the bathroom? Are you not worried about him breathing in shit and piss particles from the air? I won’t even keep my toothbrush in the bathroom, can’t imagine taking a baby in.

Have you not taken a phone call in the last 14 days?

Ok if you say so, but i don’t know anyone who’s had a tiny baby who takes them to the toilet……just in case.

how do you sleep, eat, function on a day to day basis if you are always watching your baby?

it’s not normal behaviour.

God forbid I would want my child to be safe and well.

And how do you think this works with parents of more than one child?

Do you think they let their toddlers run riot around the house whilst they're busy gazing lovingly at the newborn making sure it's safe and well?

I say this with the most kindness possible - please talk to your health visitor or GP. You very likely have post natal anxiety. It's very common and you likely just need someone to talk to for reassurance, but medication might help. I had it and didn't realise because I already had anxiety, but it would have made my first few months of parenthood much easier if I'd known.

I couldn't peg more than two items of washing on the line without running back in the house to check on my sleeping baby, so I know how you feel.

They are in a moses basket. They are safe there.