Page 11 | 13 year old watching newborn

Newmum99653 · 2025-07-27T11:29:46+00:00

Am I being unreasonable? I am not comfortable with our 13 year old DSD watching our newborn whilst we do jobs around the house. Personally my priority is the safety of the newborn and anything can happen quickly (choking, falling, suffocating) if not being watched properly. E.g. I came down and DSD was on phone whilst “watching” newborn whilst I was upstairs and DP was in the kitchen. My DP on the other hand doesn’t see the problem in this at all. My view is DSD can hold feed cuddle newborn as much as she wants but whilst we are supervising. Am I being unreasonable?

PestoHoliday · 27/07/2025 13:26

I know he's only two weeks old but you are being a little obsessive. When he's in the moses basket he's in a safe place; you do not need to move it into the bathroom when you need the loo!

A 13 year old is perfectly capable of keeping an eye on a newborn without adult supervision, barring any disability. Show the poor kid some confidence in her. If you're unloading the dishwasher or having a shower, your step daughter will be fine with the baby.

Give yourself some space or you'll exhaust yourself.

PluckyChancer · 27/07/2025 13:24

Hi OP. Try not to fall out with anyone over your anxiety about watching your baby at all times. I also did the taking them to the toilet on a towel in a washing basket thing. I was alone in the house and didn’t know if it was safe to leave him outside the bathroom.

It’s perfectly normal to be a bit over anxious with your new baby and you might like to read the following thread to know you aren’t alone and hopefully, you’ll also become a lot more relaxed as time goes on.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/chat/5350166-most-batshit-thing-you-did-with-your-pfb?reply=144829452

Page 3 | Most batshit thing you did with your PFB | Mumsnet

Chatting to friends today about the funniest/craziest/omg what was I thinking things we did with our firstborn DC. When DD was a few months old she...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5350166-most-batshit-thing-you-did-with-your-pfb?reply=144829452

flowertoday · 27/07/2025 13:24

This thread has brought back a vivid memory for me of leaving my days old baby in the kitchen safely strapped into a bouncy chair ( no blankets) in front of the washing machine so I could go to the loo. I didn't even leave a 13 year old with him. He loved the sound of the washing machine and it always sent him to sleep.
Babies are safe enough to be left alone for a few minutes if you are in the next room. The human race would have died out otherwise.

monkeysox · 27/07/2025 13:22

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 13:19

@monkeysox it was sarcasm, I’m sorry that couldn't be comprehended.

Ok but you need to unclench. Your teenage step child can shout you if needed? My 13 year old could look after a baby relative for an hour or 2 alone tbh

Hercisback1 · 27/07/2025 13:22

Hodgemollar · 27/07/2025 13:21

Literally one is hating on you but it is utterly ridiculous to expect your partner to take the baby any time he leaves the room for even a second so that a 13 year old isn’t left ‘unattended’ with a newborn.

It’s insane, that’s the reason your partner isn’t listening or doing it.

Show quote history

This

Most people leave a newborn for 10-20 mins maybe popping in occasionally, but they're OK on their own for short periods. Especially if you have another child, you have to deal with them too.

Toottooot · 27/07/2025 13:22

Who’s watching the baby now while YOU sit and scroll on your phone? 🙄

Internaut · 27/07/2025 13:22

or blankets being accidentally pulled over face as he has animated hands.

Tuck the blanket in very firmly or cocoon the baby in it. He'll sleep better that way anyway.

MintTwirl · 27/07/2025 13:21

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 13:18

@RedSeven ah so it’s the step mum hating women out in force as always on mums net.

DSD has not been told off once. So incorrect narrative.

My issue is not with my DSD, she’s allowed to bond cuddle as much as she possibly wants. As long as there is an adult around

she can be on her phone as much as she wants, my example was that when left with the baby. She doesn’t have an interest in him or minding him. Which is absolutely no issue at all, but the issue is my DP continues to do it knowing my views on it

She isn’t allowed to cuddle or pick him up unless an adult is in the room watching? At 13?

SixteenClovesOfGarlic · 27/07/2025 13:21

well actually when he’s sick if he’s strapped into seat on his back. Possibly sick.

What sort of seat is this?

GreyCarpet · 27/07/2025 13:21

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:41

@CommissarySushi wide awake all night, eyes never off him.

do you have children? The level of sleep I have never to him is most certainly not the same as my sleep before so any noise or movement wakes me pretty quickly

If this is true and not a sarcastic response, OP, you do need to speak woth your HV about it because extreme tiredness on your part is a greater risk factor for almost anything than being watched by a 13 year old sibling is.

Hodgemollar · 27/07/2025 13:21

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 13:18

@RedSeven ah so it’s the step mum hating women out in force as always on mums net.

DSD has not been told off once. So incorrect narrative.

My issue is not with my DSD, she’s allowed to bond cuddle as much as she possibly wants. As long as there is an adult around

she can be on her phone as much as she wants, my example was that when left with the baby. She doesn’t have an interest in him or minding him. Which is absolutely no issue at all, but the issue is my DP continues to do it knowing my views on it

Literally one is hating on you but it is utterly ridiculous to expect your partner to take the baby any time he leaves the room for even a second so that a 13 year old isn’t left ‘unattended’ with a newborn.

It’s insane, that’s the reason your partner isn’t listening or doing it.

BlueandPinkSwan · 27/07/2025 13:20

PFB, OP is worrying now but will probably look back later in life and like the rest of us think wtaf was I thinking.

Original poster

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 13:19

@monkeysox it was sarcasm, I’m sorry that couldn't be comprehended.

OP posts:

Internaut · 27/07/2025 13:19

SkipperTheEyeChild · 27/07/2025 13:05

You take your baby into the bathroom? Are you not worried about him breathing in shit and piss particles from the air? I won’t even keep my toothbrush in the bathroom, can’t imagine taking a baby in.

Now, that is really batshit.

Honeydewmelon123 · 27/07/2025 13:19

Geez how do you get anything done!!? What happens when you sleep?
Totally OTT.

Hercisback1 · 27/07/2025 13:19

Newborns shouldn't have blankets. Women post c section shouldn't be carrying moses baskets, that's much more of a risk.

Original poster

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 13:18

@RedSeven ah so it’s the step mum hating women out in force as always on mums net.

DSD has not been told off once. So incorrect narrative.

My issue is not with my DSD, she’s allowed to bond cuddle as much as she possibly wants. As long as there is an adult around

she can be on her phone as much as she wants, my example was that when left with the baby. She doesn’t have an interest in him or minding him. Which is absolutely no issue at all, but the issue is my DP continues to do it knowing my views on it

OP posts:

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 27/07/2025 13:18

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:33

Baby is 14 days old.

Do what makes YOU feel comfortable. Not what other people in your household demand.
Things will soon settle down into a routine and everyone will start getting used to things.

TiggyTomCat · 27/07/2025 13:18

You are going have to learn to risk assess your level of supervision better as it's a whole new level when they become toddlers and your life will be hell if you can't manage it now.

herbalteabag · 27/07/2025 13:17

The baby will be fine, it doesn't need watching all the time. How do you think people manage to do anything when no one else is there? I used to go into different rooms to do stuff. I'm sure DSD will hear if there is a problem, but if you're that worried just plug a monitor in so you can hear yourself.

timestheyareachanging25 · 27/07/2025 13:17

Ha I’m a single mum since twins were babies if I sat and watched just one of them I’d get nothing done

monkeysox · 27/07/2025 13:17

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:41

@CommissarySushi wide awake all night, eyes never off him.

do you have children? The level of sleep I have never to him is most certainly not the same as my sleep before so any noise or movement wakes me pretty quickly

Fucking hell get a grip.

RedSeven · 27/07/2025 13:16

Mrsttcno1 · 27/07/2025 13:13

Why does he have any blankets on him that could be pulled up? Sleep spaces are to be completely clear, this is what the sleeping bags are for.

Show quote history

And this. Baby shouldn't have blankets. A sleep sack is perfectly fine.

RedSeven · 27/07/2025 13:15

Sandandsea123 · 27/07/2025 13:12

Ah you don’t like your step daughter then?

how do you think the rest of us do jobs? Even with a newborn? You just get on with it and check in on baby every now and then; you are lucky you have a partner who does stuff and a step child who helps you! Christ sakes woman. You shower your step daughter with love and gratitude for looking after your daughter; not do this. I feel so sorry for her

This is what it sounds like. Just a dig at the DSD!

DSD was around first and presumably before the OP - she's a 13 year old kid who has to get used to her dad having a shiny new baby with someone else.

raising the phone issue with her dad I think is really harsh.

MintTwirl · 27/07/2025 13:14

It’s not unreasonable to be very protective of your newborn. It is unreasonable and unrealistic to expect someone to literally sit and stare at them constantly, be it a 13 yea told sibling or a grandparent,

How do you take baby to the bathroom? I didn’t think you were meant to carry them around in a Moses basket.