To be annoyed by my friend’s lack of respect for my time

Ditch her. She is no friend and very entitled and selfish and yes she is taking the fucking piss. Nip that in the bud now.

I have 1 friend like this. I really love spending time with her, but I'd never meet up 1to1.
In a group setting, her lateness is less obvious.

I used have a friend who started to do this, make an arrangement to do something together and then rock up anything from 30-90 mins late. I spoke to her about it a couple of times, even a text saying she was delayed would have helped, but it didn't improve, So I moved on ... The lack of respect for my Tim was something I just couldn't get over

I have a friend who does this. She is constantly late and arrives flustered saying “oh what am I like?” She thinks it’s hilarious, no one else does.
When I challenged her about it once she told me “well I’ve never missed a flight” as if that makes it ok. 🙄

This would really annoy me.

i have a friend like Thai, I used to take her dd to school with mine. She’d drop her off with me and then I’d take my dc and her dd to school, before going to work. She was always late, so in the end I. Told her of she wasn’t at my house by x time I’d leave as I was being late for work. Next day, she was late again, so i just left without her dd. To. E fair to her she didn’t complain and she was never late again. Sometimes you just need to stick to your guns and be honest.

‘yes Janet I’m leaving now, your cat won’t get fed if I don’t ’

‘sorry I’ve had to go, as I told you I’ve got a dentist appointment at 3’

I don't get the pet checking in bit. Was she then away for the weekend or something? You were together, why did you have to be the one checking in on her pet?

I used to have friends like her. They are no longer my friends. I suggest you get rid of her too.

They can sod off. He was more than flexible, bending over backwards to meet all of their many requirements. He simply asked for them to stick to the times THEY set.

I had a friend like this. When dd was younger I had plans to take her to a big indoor shopping centre. Friend was going to meet us there with her dd but asked if we could go to the shops near her home town instead.

We were nearly there on the bus when she text me to say it was raining and she wasn't ready so would I mind doing it another time.

I told her I bloody well did mind as my plans had involved the indoor mall in the opposite direction and I was only going to be traipsing round her town in the wet because she has asked me to come to her.

She was flakey in other ways too and we are now no longer friends

Very annoying.
You could try giving her an earlier time, that is equally annoying.
If she's late again, stop meeting her.

Agree @ScorchingEgg but mn will still lay blame on your oh.... "why isn't he being flexible ...?! Isn't it more important that they spend time together no matter when?!'

It doesn’t really matter if someone has ADHD if you’ve made it very clear how much it disrespects your time and messes you about. Someone who can’t help it but who cares would be deeply remorseful, would try and find solutions, and ultimately, would arrange things where they either knew they were there already so wouldn’t inconvenience you, or would otherwise create situations for that to be the case.

My OH’s entire family disrespects his time and his boundaries. He had straightforward conversations with them about why it mattered, and what he would be doing going forward to make sure his time wasn’t messed with. It had become so bad that he was being told, for example, a family meal would be at 8,’so he would arrive at 7 to have some time before/help, and planned to be there until 10 to have time after to talk and help clear up. However, he would show and they would not have dinner ready until past 10, forcing him to stay on longer than he would have liked. On one occasion he simply left without eating and they were all astounded he would do so. He now is super low contact with them all.

In short, your friend doesn’t respect you or your time. She thinks she matters more. So now it’s up to you to enforce your boundaries.

I had a friend like this.

This

It is disrespectful to keep a friend waiting.
I would end the friendship.

I had one of these 'friends'. Life is significantly better since I dumped her approx 3 years ago and found some self respect

She's not from South Europe is she by any chance, where the concept of arrival time is very different to UK!

Ive an old friend like this, I've 3 kids 2 cats, dog, partner, full time job, and a friend was always late or letting me down. I basically dont plan anything with them at all, my time is to precious to be left waiting on someone that has no family and lives aloe and barely works. And I certainly will not set aside a block of time to do something just with them and I've told them why. It is what it is.

"She manages to be on time for hobbies/fitness classes she attends."

And there it is. She can be on time, it's a choice she makes.

Be less accommodating. If she's late, tell her so and that you've had your coffee and are off now. If she rings to change times, say no, that doesn't suit the rest of your day it's be best to rearrange for another day. Don't pick her up even if she asks, tell her no you'll meet her there (picking her up just encourages her to be even later).

And if she still can't get her act together, just say no to the friendship. Because let's face it, she's not much of a friend dicking you about like this.

Your friend is being incredibly rude to you, so stop worrying about offending her in your response. If you want to preserve the friendship, start holding her to account for her behaviour. Leave if she’s not arrived on time. Don’t wait for her if she’s not ready when you’re picking her up, just go without her. And when she asks “so soon” tell her explicitly what the problem is. Either she’ll sort herself out, or the friendship will be over.

This sounds like my cousin. She was even late for a relative's funeral because she stays in bed too late then she can't fit everything in. I've stopped meeting her and told her why. It's either tell her you find her lateness and thoughtlessness infuriating or follow your DH's approach.

I tried the “tell them an earlier time” thing with notoriously late family members and ended up being equally annoyed when they would turn up late as I knew the time I had said and they were inevitably late.

I would say to her “look I don’t want to cause an arguement but you have been late every time we have had something arranged. For our friendship I need you to be respectful of my time and be there at the time we have mutually agreed”

be direct but not unkind

I had a friend like this. I called to her as agreed so we’d go out for lunch. She was in last nights clothes, messy make up and still out of it from the night before. That was last straw for me.

She was always a huge narc, but I just had enough of it

Have you spoken to her about it. Ive had friend like this. She could be on time for work.