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Original poster

The Audacity of in-laws

88 replies

Hotdays · 27/07/2025 11:14

I have struggled alot with my in-laws, cant believe their sense of entitlement at times, cannot believe their childishness, cannot believe the way they go out of their way to deliberately ignore me as the mother of their grandchildren, the audacity of them at times is quite unbelievable. The thing I struggle to comprehend though, is, before I married DH and had his children, we got on well, his mother is a nice person, so AIBU to think that something somewhere in the relationship changes when a DIL becomes a DIL/mother? Do DIL become more sensitive where usually things would just wash over them? Or do MIL’s become more ruthless/rude/ wanting to maintain their place as top woman? Just thought it would be an interesting topic, also if you have rude in-laws, I feel you! 😅

OP posts:
marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 27/07/2025 11:59

I think there are some difficult in laws but also plenty of insecure dils wanting to cause arguments.

Hiptothisjive · 27/07/2025 11:52

Hotdays · 27/07/2025 11:49

😂 My In laws assume that because my children are good at something, or learn something new, its obviously down to someone else 🙄🙄 “oh where did she learn that from, she must have heard it in nursery “ or “oh how does he know that? Your DSIL must have taught him” 🙄🙄

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Oh dear. Yeah it was weird. Mine were pretty awful and I have a lot of nieces and nephews from my husbands side who most of them are pretty unruly. Ours have great manners, endgame with grandparents, never threw tantrums, do well in school etc. I’m not saying this to brag but rather to say the PIL saw our kids as being really great kids especially compatibly and my MIL does credit me with being a good mother. I never would have thought she would have done this and thought she would have done what yours did. I would probably answer with ‘well considering the time and effort I put into my kids I might have a little something to do with that too’.

Original poster
Hotdays · 27/07/2025 11:49

Hiptothisjive · 27/07/2025 11:45

Mine got a lot better after I had kids as they could see I had great kids and therefore assumed I was a good mother. Before that the relationship wasn’t great at all.

😂 My In laws assume that because my children are good at something, or learn something new, its obviously down to someone else 🙄🙄 “oh where did she learn that from, she must have heard it in nursery “ or “oh how does he know that? Your DSIL must have taught him” 🙄🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
Hotdays · 27/07/2025 11:47

Notanothernamechange25 · 27/07/2025 11:43

Always got on great with MIL until our first baby was born. She changed overnight! It really upset me and DH. She undermined everything we did, criticised us, it was awful. This continued until BIL and SIL had their first child. She's back to being nice as pie to me and they're having the treatment we had. Apparently she was the same with older BIL and SIL but I didn't know her then and their children were teens when I met DH. Strange woman. Our relationship has never recovered. I'm civil with her to keep the peace, but can't forgive her for how she treated me those first years that I was a mother.

This is exactly my experience, she is back to trying to be kind and respectful, but I feel I’ve seen enough and can never un-see it. Its as if she lost her head for a good few years when my babies came along.

OP posts:
Hiptothisjive · 27/07/2025 11:45

Mine got a lot better after I had kids as they could see I had great kids and therefore assumed I was a good mother. Before that the relationship wasn’t great at all.

Notanothernamechange25 · 27/07/2025 11:43

Always got on great with MIL until our first baby was born. She changed overnight! It really upset me and DH. She undermined everything we did, criticised us, it was awful. This continued until BIL and SIL had their first child. She's back to being nice as pie to me and they're having the treatment we had. Apparently she was the same with older BIL and SIL but I didn't know her then and their children were teens when I met DH. Strange woman. Our relationship has never recovered. I'm civil with her to keep the peace, but can't forgive her for how she treated me those first years that I was a mother.

Kissedbyfire1 · 27/07/2025 11:41

Don’t know about your situation OP but an audacity of in-laws is an excellent collective noun!

TouchOfSilverShampoo · 27/07/2025 11:40

Because this thread is daily fail bait.

KrisAkabusi · 27/07/2025 11:40

Not in my experience. Lots of people get on with their in-laws. You're making a huge generalisation without providing any evidence or examples.

Safxxx · 27/07/2025 11:37

It's a relationship of tolerance lol 😂 but at times patience wears off, and other than putting up with it for the sake of peace nothing can be done...but if their deliberately ignoring you and being rude then make it known that you won't put up with it, set your boundaries.

Original poster
Hotdays · 27/07/2025 11:22

Lafufufu · 27/07/2025 11:16

More info needed.

Its about relationships with in laws in general, what are peoples experiences and thoughts x

OP posts:
Robin67 · 27/07/2025 11:17

There is a lot of labelling here, without details OP.

But yes, it can't be nice if you are made to feel that way.

Lafufufu · 27/07/2025 11:16

More info needed.

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