Gave cpr. Not heard anything from the victim. Is it ok to feel a little sad?

In what scheme of moral obligation does someone not owe something to the person who saved their life?

(I’m not being snide, I’m actually curious why saving someone’s life would not count to create an obligation, when very many much lesser things presumably would. Especially as the obligation being proposed by the OP is only an acknowledgment).

Not this!
If I knew someone had saved me through CPR, I'd be seeking them out to say thank you as soon as I was able.
This is a huge and unselfish thing carried out by a stranger who could just have walked on by. It would have been at some emotional cost to them also., quite possibly. Of course that should be recognised

Don't sent a card 8 weeks later.

You are making this about you. It sounds like you need to get some counselling.

OP hope this thread has helped you understand why it would be dreadful behaviour to contact a person who almost died in the hope that they will thank you and make you feel better.

If you need trauma therapy, see a therapist, not the woman who nearly died.

My sister had to keep mum going by cpr last year. We are barely talk about it. My mum
ended up in cpu for months it’s was awful. I actually don’t think we have the words to express how awful it was. I’m so sorry that happened to you - I’d go a speak to them as they maybe can’t yet talk to you. But well done. You’re a hero xx

DP has had to intervene to save lives twice; once CPR on a stranger until paramedics arrived -he never heard what happened afterwards- and once preventing someone from coming to harm in a sustained assault with a lethal weapon (not too much detail as was in papers). The person he shielded did reach out 12 months after the attack, in part because that's how long it took from arrest to sentencing and victim support released DP's details, but also, as the person explained, the whole incident had felt very raw and traumatic for a long time, and the thought of connecting in person with DP had felt too much, despite the person feeling grateful etc. I think previous posters have got this right, OP, it is probably too soon and too raw for your neighbour to connect with you, but it doesn't mean they don't feel immensely thankful. Well done you!

Guilt trip her? You can't be serious?

Jesus fucking Christ.

Well done to you! You saved a life and it IS traumatic. You did a wonderful thing. I think your feelings are totally understandable and borne out of the intense situation you found yourself in. You may not get contacted by the person for a whole body of reasons - however, I applaud you x

It's a very traumatic experience for all involved. My partner had to do it a few years back to someone who collapsed while training with him. 15 minutes until the ambulance arrived and took over.

He's a big guy and she was anything but...he could feel and hear her ribs cracking. It really bothered him for some time afterwards and he was very close to getting therapy for it.

Thankfully the woman survived. He sent messages and we sent her some flowers but never got a response. Her husband eventually reached out to thank him; she had been left quite mentally unwell by the whole ordeal and was struggling to acknowledge it.

It took her quite a while to recover physically, and she was riddled with anxiety for some time after that. She did get in touch eventually though and we all met up.

She said she'd been struggling to talk to anyone about what happened. Maybe that's the situation with your neighbor?

Time is a great healer though.

Guilt trip her??

Oh behave

As a non-medical who has assisted at an accident, I believe that you do this without any expectation of return (hopefully if I ever needed help, someone would help me). There is a reasonable likelihood that the person has amnesia around the incident, and possibly ongoing cognitive impact. Her trauma would be massive. She is in the very early stages of recovery. Whatever has happened is life changing. If you’re dealing with some trauma yourself, I really think you need to reach out to someone else to work through it, not the patient.

I'm very glad your husband is ok & that that nurse was there to help him.

I don't understand why thanking her for her actions is complex? I've thankfully never been through anything like this so I'm genuinely interested in what's inhibiting this?

OP i think you did an amazing thing & I think in your shoes I'd probably feel the same.

I am a first responder. I know it’s traumatic for you. It’s more traumatic for her. She may not have been told exactly who did cpr on her. She may be mortified to have put you in this position. (Some people worry about fluids afterwards.) Don’t send the note as mentioned above. She may be worried that you feel she owes you something. That’s really intrusive. Let her be. If you run into her naturally, of course ask how she’s going and let her know that you’re just glad she’s okay.

Exactly.

Maybe in a few weeks/months/years, the lady will post on social media and express thanks... maybe even want to meet the person who saved her.

But for the person who helped her to expect it now... just no.

I had the exact same situation 10 years ago. Neighbour, didn't know them but had mutual connections, knew it was me that did CPR.

I found it somewhat traumatising.
I kind of thought they might reach out, I guess because you see so many things like this in newspapers. They never did.
I never thought they owed me that though.

Sorry it has affected you. It is your trauma to manage now though and they definitely have their own to deal with now.

And unless the OP got it very wrong, the poor woman's going to have no memory of someone pumping away at her chest while she lies there unconscious.

I fully under Where you are coming from I once had the call the police on a friend being attacked she text me to ring the police to a adress where her and her children where violently attacked. This happened the night before my daughters birthday (a year ago tomorrow lol) and unfortunately he smashed her phone her sister then took her home and rightfully so they all spent the next few days with police social services and getting support.

I remember feeling really upset and confused that I had to spend days not knowing at first if my best friend at the time would live or die and also no one checked I was okay. I remember looking at the balloons and banners to my daughters stuff and sobbing because I didn’t put them up as I was too scared to celebrate and almost feeling so much anger towards the situation. If this helps I think you learn to understand we are all humans and they were busy healing and resting. I’ve since stepped away from friend not due to this but she was very selfish and I do think one message off her sisters phone to say hey I’m home now be a busy few days would have been kind as I spent 2 hours crying to the police: but it’s also her truma and I wasn’t getting attacked and I didn’t go through that and we are all just reacting to different triggers to our own cells. In about 2 months time you won’t care that she didn’t reach out I promise! It’s just part of the traumas that make parts of each and everyone of us I guess. Hope you are doing okay x

You can always guilt-trip her by sending her a little note just saying you hope she's okay.

What the actual fuck have I just read?

You're suggesting the OP guilt trips a stranger who had the traumatic experience of her heart stopping, having to be resuscitated and then taken to hospital because she basically collapsed and almost died?

Jesus that's low.

Guilt trip her? The lady nearly died. She most likely does not even know who was doing CPR on her, given that she was out of it at the time.

Well, we all liked to be thanked even for little things - and this is a big thing.

I'd like to imagine maybe she was embarrassed but might thank you soon. Years ago I found a wallet while I was away for the weekend, just about to take the train home, so left a telephone message to tell her not to worry, that I'd mail her the wallet. And I did. Silence. I was a little sad. Or miffed. Then a big box of chocolates arrived! Maybe your neighbor will do something similar, especially when the word gets out to your mutual acquaintances.

You can always guilt-trip her by sending her a little note just saying you hope she's okay.

OP, hope that this thread has helped. You should ignore the snide nasty comments ( from the usual suspects!) but hopefully you find the other posts useful. It’s interesting to see even professionals can find CPR stressful. Maybe this thread will serve as your debrief. I think it would be ok to send a card.

OP, hope that this thread has helped. You should ignore the snide nasty comments ( from the usual suspects!) but hopefully you find the other posts useful. It’s interesting to see even professionals can find CPR stressful. Maybe this thread will serve as your debrief. I think it would be ok to send a card.

OP, hope that this thread has helped. You should ignore the snide nasty comments ( from the usual suspects!) but hopefully you find the other posts useful. It’s interesting to see even professionals can find CPR stressful. Maybe this thread will serve as your debrief. I think it would be ok to send a card.

OP, hope that this thread has helped. You should ignore the snide nasty comments ( from the usual suspects!) but hopefully you find the other posts useful. It’s interesting to see even professionals can find CPR stressful. Maybe this thread will serve as your debrief. I think it would be ok to send a card.