Gave cpr. Not heard anything from the victim. Is it ok to feel a little sad?

This
When a patient is in cardiac arrest they are unconscious and unaware of what is happening to them…..she may not even know who initiated CPR

I'm surprised by the amount of people who don't think the neighbour - whose life you saved - should contact you.

Not CPR, but I choked, and when the heimlich failed, a neighbour (who I don't know well) raced to assist, and essentially manhandled me and managed to remove the obstruction and get me breathing again. I was unconscious for a few minutes so remember nothing - although I apparently wet myself and vomited on him, both of which are mortifying. I was awake the entire night processing what had happened, and the following morning I was straight round there with a card and gifts (in spite of my embarrassment), and it was clear that he was more traumatised than I was by it all and he kept apologizing for hurting me!

So once your neighbour is physically well enough, yes I'd assume she'd contact you... after all, she won't have to go far out of her way to find you.

What?!!?! This is mind blowing to me

Me too.

That’s really weird of them. What a thing for you to have done though. Amazing. It takes a lot of courage and composure to do that.

OP you can ignore the vast amount of commentators who don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.

there are support groups on Facebook for people who have given cpr, I suggest you seek out that support or other professional help. Most people given cpr outside of a hospital setting don’t survive - it’s not like tv. It’s hugely traumatic for a non HCP (and HCP too!) to give cpr.

yes it is surprising that the survivor’s family at least haven’t acknowledged your life saving and unusually successful efforts. But they’ll have their reasons so don’t dwell on it and that’s why you need to process this somehow with help from elsewhere.

i gave cpr successfully a number of years ago and I think about it frequently still. It was just sheer chance I’d been to a community day course the day before.

@Muffinmam - unless she had a DNR that OP couldn’t possibly know about that is an absolutely ludicrous thing to say. This person probably has PTSD and is trying to cope with that. They will be very grateful to OP and thankful that they are alive.

Take your reward and joy from the fact that the person lived. That is the best outcome for your both.
Surely you want the person you helped to not remember it, to get on with their life and to not feel indebted to you at all.

Well done you and if you need help with your trauma seek advice from St John's Ambulance or another organisation which teaches CPR.

You probably broke her ribs and she’s angry with you.

I would have thought you were going to say you wanted to know she was OK. She might be getting around but it's she OK. Knowing that should be thanks enough. Get in touch if you want to check in on her but don't expect active thank you.

She really may be too traumatised or be unaware if exactly what happened and who helped her.

I resuscitate people for a living - contrary to a post above we manage so many cardiac arrests and similar life threatening evens that we now only debrief paediatric arrests in my workplace because otherwise we’d be in debrief all day/night - and only a small number of the people we do get back to a point they can go home come to meet us. I think it’s more normal than not to either want to just move on and process it yourself or to be unaware of who saved your life. Don’t take it to heart. And do reach out to someone support you, it’s a traumatising event for you also.

I understand the op completely

I gave CPR to a 2 year old when i was a nursery worker. I never once got a thank you or even a smile when i saw his parents, Every week day for the next 3 years that he was still at my nursery

Before any of you do the same as you have to the OP
Its not about me
Ofcourse my priority was the toddler and thank goodness he survived that day
But still a weird feeling that neither parent said a word to me

Yanbu to feel a bit miffed as that's an understandable human emotion.

But I think you have to leave it there

She may be coping with what happened by trying not to think about it. She may not know what to say. She may have worried she left it too late. You can't know what she is dealing with and why. Take the fact she is out and living life as the real thank you

I rescued a stranger who was being attacked, at some risk to myself. I did it because it felt like the right thing to do in that moment. I didn't do it for the thank you or the plaudits and I am sure that was the same when you started CPR

Exactly this. She still may be very unwell. I have done CPR and it is traumatic.

I'm sure they are eternally grateful, just because they haven't made contact (who says they even know how to), doesn't mean anything.

This. I've been helped by people where someone did die, and I'll be forever grateful to them. So much followed that I didn't get a chance to say thank you, but it didn't mean I wasn't grateful. It was the worst time of my life@WTF99

I get you OP, its traumatic and you probably feel you'll get some kind of closure seeing the person again. We have no idea of the situation so I wouldn't dwell on it. But thank God for quick thinking, caring people like you 💗

Would you? Or would you maybe be sidetracked by the almost dying and dealing with whatever health problems had led to the almost dying?

Yes, exactly this!

You want the family who are supporting someone who almost died to take time out from supporting that person and f on their own shock and trauma to check you're ok because you helped? The mindset is bizarre to me.

She almost died, infact if she genuinely required CPR then she did die for a bit, it's likely she's also got serious physical trauma from the CPR itself. But you expect this woman who almost died to reach out and thank you? Dyou not think maybe she's a bit busy recovering from almost dying? Very strange things to centre yourself in that

@ohnotthisagain2025

What schemes of moral obligations have you invented? Do we have a list from which we are allowed to choose?

That’s a rather odd and confrontational way to start. There are lots of different moral principles people apply, and I was curious about the PPs.

The only possible way this could be seen as a moral obligation is if the person who was dying had asked for help and was given it.

This is interesting. Do you recognise any obligations that are created other than by someone requesting something? (This feels a bit like the teenage “I didn’t ask to be born” view of obligations, but maybe there something more sophisticated there).

I agree with this. Of course she owes op a bloody thank you. Why do people make everything so complex these days?

What schemes of moral obligations have you invented? Do we have a list from which we are allowed to choose?

The only possible way this could be seen as a moral obligation is if the person who was dying had asked for help and was given it. Even then it would be a very self involved and clueless person who'd prompt them later for a thank you.

The OP wants the traumatised person who nearly died to ask how she, the OP, is doing.

The OP may well have trauma but it is not the person who almost died's job to help her with that. The OP needs to see a trauma therapist and leave the person who nearly died alone.

No, you wouldn't. Or perhaps you would. The actual reality is you haven't the faintest idea how anyone feels when they've nearly died and had CPR, and of course it is entirely up to the person who nearly died and CPR to act in whatever way they see fit.

It is a well recognised fact that nearly dying and having CPR is EXTREMELY traumatic and it is not in any way the OPs decision or anybody else's decision how the person deals with that.

Telling a person who nearly died to reframe their trauma and worry about other people is a bizarre and entirely selfish way to look at the situation.

The OP should leave the person in peace to deal with their trauma and if the OP needs trauma counselling, seek it, not expect the person who nearly died to give it to her. The person who nearly died may, or may not contact her in future, and that is entirely up to them.