Gave cpr. Not heard anything from the victim. Is it ok to feel a little sad?

To date, virtually every post pointing out the reality of the situation has been called out like this. The woman nearly died. OP was in a position to help and then presumably left after handing over to medics at the scene. The reality is that the neighbour probably doesn’t even know OP was there, let alone saved her life. So OP trying to contact her in any way - even to see how she is - with the intention of confirming that she was the one who save her life, would indeed be making it all about her.

Most sensible post here - puts things into proper perspective.

Yep. This. The woman probably doesn’t even know OP was involved. I can understand how OP feels but seeking support from the person she saved is just wrong and however she couches it, it smacks of seeking validation and thanks for what she did. It’s not about OP - she should talk her experience through with someone to gain some perspective and leave her neighbour in peace to process what will be a very different experience from her own. Facing your own mortality is the ultimate trauma.

To be clear I got the message to the person who performed the CPR that we were grateful and that DH was OK.

DH hasn't really been able to come to terms with what happened.

I haven't really probed him on it as the whole incident was traumatising. He had broken ribs and black eyes after the episode which he has no memory of whatsoever. He was one minute fine in a field and the next thing he was in ICU.

I don't think he owes anyone an explanation of why he feels uncomfortable reliving that in any way. I just know that he couldn't even go back to the same area again.

So this scenario is different but I can totally understand why people don't reach out. If I hadn't been there he wouldn't even have the first clue who had done the CPR. In normal circumstances they just hand over to paramedics and don't give their details, why would they?

What an absolutely horrible post.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to think that the person you helped save may want to/should thank you or at least acknowledge what you did - particularly when you’re not complete strangers.

This. It’s utterly batshit.

This was my thought. At that moment she would have been barely aware of what was happening. I understand how the OP was affected by the event but I wouldn't necessarily expect anything from the woman she helped.

If you know her, why dont you pop round instead to check on her?

My dh gave CPR to a small baby in a petrol garage. Mum come running into the garage with babe in her arms asking for help. My dh is ex services, they did CPR training every year.
He got the baby breathing again. Ambulance came in about 4 mins.
He was traumatised when he got home.
A few weeks later he got a lovely card from the mum. She had traced him from his van- had contact number on the side of it.

How on earth can you possibly know that ? The woman went into cardiac arrest and wouldn’t have known a thing - she’s processing her own trauma. OP probably genuinely feels traumatised but the last person she should be turning to for support is the person she saved. There’s plenty of support out there for that without imposing on someone's recovery process because you want validation for your good deed.

They might have been too unwell to even remember it. Let alone that you were involved. Even if they seemed conscious eventually. They may still be very unwell.

I guess you just have to think that you'd do it for a complete stranger, and you wouldn't necessarily expect any acknowledgement after the event. So you've done a good deed. You don't really need thanks or praise.

I've been brought back a couple times and had seizures and if the person who helped hadn't told me after I wouldn't have known it happened, at all.

From doing CPR training, I think having it done to you must feel like an assault

Have you nearly died? Had your heart ever literally stopped? Have you ever had to recover from that physically? Have you ever had to recover from facing your own death psychologically?

To say you would thank a stranger from giving CPR “as soon as you were lucid” is lunacy. I guarantee you would not. You’d barely be able to comprehend what’s just happened to you.

I think it's a new low to be angry at someone who will still be recovering from briefly dying for not having good enough manners

OP did a wonderful thing. She saved someone’s life. The person she saved may not even know she was there but the judgement is all on her for not immediately seeking OP out and falling on her knees in gratitude. One poster even suggesting OP turn up on her doorstep for an explanation as to why she hasn’t contacted her.

Making the ultimate good deed of saving someone’s life all about yourself and seeking validation to the point of posting about it on social media is what shakes my faith in humanity.

Oh don't be silly.
Someone else will have told her that her life was saved by this poster.

'Processing her own trauma' is no excuse for not saying thanks for saving my life.

I think humanity has sunk to a new low if these are the morals people live by.

This! Add in the fact that she is highly unlikely to get any support on the NHS.

It takes two minutes to aknowledge such a kind brave act. A card, message or note would suffice if face to face isn’t possible.

I wonder how many people on here would readily jump in and do the same as the op?

WTF are you talking about ?? The woman went into cardiac arrest. She probably doesn’t even know OP was there, let alone saved her life !! She’s probably processing her own trauma, and your batshit suggestion of OP turning up on her doorstep looking for an explanation of why she hadn’t been contacted and thanked (because that’s basically what OP is looking for) isn’t going to help that. It’s not about you and in that instance you would be the d**k !!

She serves a bloody big Thank you!

What on earth is the matter with people today?
You save someone's life yet it's fine not for that person to thank you.

My faith in humanity has just taken another tumble.

Giving CPR is a skilled job for someone not a medic.

The least anyone can do if you save their life is to say thanks.

If posters saying that is 'too much' give your head a bloody good wobble .

I guess I was just expecting some sort of contact from someone in their family. Probably unreasonably.

God almighty!

Some responses here are bizarre. ie 'she owes you nothing'. Errr...she does- her life!

If someone saved my life I'd be sending flowers, sending my family round to thank them and singing their praises right, left and centre.

OP you are entitled to feel hurt.
I can't understand anyone behaving like her or surely her family.
Does she have family and do they know you saved her life?

I have PTSD from the various time my son almost died, every time I saw staff involved in it I wanted to throw up. I suspect that's how they felt.

Thereby making it all about her. She wouldn’t be checking in on the neighbour out of concern for her wellbeing, but for validation, and, if she’s honest, a thank you.

She doesn’t owe OP a thing. Why do people do a good thing and then devalue it by making it all about themselves ? The poor woman nearly died. She should be left alone to deal with her own trauma and OP shouldn’t be seeking validation from her. OP is clearly traumatised herself and should seek professional help for that.

The lack of emotional intelligence on this thread is unreal - just plain nasty. It is obvious that a non-medical person performing a life-or-death procedure on someone may leave that person with some feelings of trauma or other emotional distress. If you can’t understand that then your emotional intelligence is on the floor and you really need to learn to think before you speak/type your keyboard warrior responses.

Yes, OP should speak to professionals who can help her deal with her feelings. She is likely feeling confused and this may have caused her to think the patient should be checking in on her too - it doesn’t automatically make her a selfish person who is only thinking about herself. Sometimes trauma means we don’t articulate clearly or direct our expectations in the right direction initially.