Gave cpr. Not heard anything from the victim. Is it ok to feel a little sad?

I would like to think that if someone saved my life that if I knew who they were that I would at least thank them - I would probably send a card rather than face to face.

Horrible is expecting someone whose heart has stopped to drop by to check on her. They shouldn’t be expected to take on OPs emotional baggage.

Other people in OPs life should be picking up the slack here, recognising the trauma and asking how they are.

Why don’t you pop round with a bunch of flowers? She may not know the circumstances. Mind you, not sure she would want reminding.

Yeah that is a bit weird she hasn't acknowledged you. Maybe she's embarrassed. You did well OP, no hate from me and none of the haters on here will say no to CPR. All the best!

Actually OP I think you might need some counselling, what you did was traumatic for you too. I would pursue that route and look after yourself x

Perhaps more than the person you saved, I’d be expecting a family member to drop by. Assuming of course they know it’s you.
if someone kept a loved one of mine alive long enough for medics to help and save my life I’d be wanting to thank them.
it would give me great pleasure to do so.
you sound philosophical tho, OP, and a nice person too.
x

You seem like a lovely person Op. Id love to have you as my neighbour.

I’m sorry for your loss. CPR isn’t about saving someone’s life, it’s about keeping the bloody and oxygen circulating until the cause of the original cardiac arrest is identified and reversed if there is in fact a reversible cause, if the original cause of arrest isn’t reversible the best quality CPR in the world won’t make any difference. Of course CPR is life saving and if the underlying cause can be fixed then good quality CPR will reduce the likelihood of brain and organ damage and buy time but that alone won’t keep someone alive. I hope this gives you comfort that you done everything you could and sadly it wasn’t meant to be for your dad and it’s got nothing to do with the quality of your CPR.

I've been in this situation many times, while nursing. It's different because we're trained. There is always the one that gets to you,in my case a young guy,who didn't make it, I bawled my eyes out! Yes,as one poster succinctly put it,no pulse,no breathing, you're dead, and will stay that way without intervention. I drill basic life support,CPR into my teenage gks. I signed petitions over the years trying to get basic first aid onto the national curriculum. Their school were doing it...it was booked, paid for, then cancelled at the last minute through lack of take-up.. just after the pandemic,my oldest DD was in a busy situation,at work, and did CPR, then went about her day, she's not medically trained, wasn't even a first aider, said to me she wondered how the person was. Next thing, she got a letter of thanks from the relatives AND an off duty police officer who assisted,out her forward for an award. It is traumatic and horrible and extremely physically hard work,it's not like the movies, however,you can't really send someone a card or say how are you after I saved you!

This

It would be nice if eg her family sent flowers to thank you but surely you can understand why this might be the last thing on their minds?

Well done for saving a life. That's phenomenal and I hope you can get support from your own circle

Harsh.

I dont want anything other than a "are you ok" It was so stressful.

I wouldn't be expecting the person you gave it to, to be asking you if you're ok-surely that's for your family to be doing. They are your support network.

I would probably go round to the person to see if they were ok, but I wouldn't particularly be expecting her to ask after you.

OP, you did a really wonderful thing 💐💐💐💐

I wonder if the person is still a bit traumatised/ embarrassed/ triggered by seeing you?

You’ve done an amazing thing to help. You’ve given someone enough oxygen so their heart keeps beating and their brain and other organs don’t perish. Thank you from me from the bottom of my heart 💐

My dad has been in a coma in ICU the last couple of weeks because he didn’t get CPR and it looks increasingly likely he won’t wake up again because he hasn’t had oxygen for about 8 minutes. No one did CPR for him. My mum and SIL were there. It didn't occur to them. I’m not blaming them btw as I think they’re genuinely clueless and my mum couldn’t even lie my dad down on the floor.

So I’d definitely reach out to thank the person helping out as it’s a big thing to do for someone else. This experience showed me also I need to refresh my CPR knowledge

Speak to someone to work through your trauma, hope you’re okay

I understand how you feel, but why don’t you just call on her, or even pop a note through the door, saying "Hi, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I’m so glad I was able to remember enough about how to give CPR to be able to help you. I do hope you’re getting on well."

That gives her the perfect opportunity to thank you. If she doesn’t, I’m afraid you’ll just have to accept it.

Hello, firstly well done for stepping in and helping in a stressful situation.
I haven't read all the replies but I think you have had some harsh replies- you have also had a trauma and I think you have highlighted a good point that emergencies such as this affect a wide range of people.not just the patient and their family/friends.
The British Heart Foundation have some resources that you may find helpful:

www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/support/support-if-youve-given-cpr

I think in this situation maybe ppl need to read between the lines of the post instead of jumping on the op , op is trying to tell us shes struggling and maybe she wants an acknowledgement to help process that. Theres a pile on that the op doesn't need so dont be part of it. Where as I personally think op is being unreasonable to expect a thank you, I certainly don't think thats the main issue here. The posts that have been called out (the ones ive seen) have been intentionally hurtful and meant to plant a seed in an already upset person.

https://www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/support/support-if-youve-given-cpr
might be helpful

Is she even still alive? I hope so.

OP - sympathies. Your feelings are valid and I remember in my first aid course, the trainer saying that giving CPR can be traumatic (contact, cracked ribs, panic, etc) and many people even trained don't feel they can do it.

I think that you are looking for validation/help from the wrong source (the person you helped). Have you got any IRL counsellor you can access via work or charity like the Samaritans? You do need to 'debrief' yourself of what happened and how you feel about it and the best person would be a therapist. Us here can be terribly judgy.

Are you sure that the family and the patient are aware that you did what you did? An out of hospital arrest can be a terrifying and confusing place, of that didn’t witness it themselves they may not know the details of who did what. Apologies if you have answered this already

Without being nasty to you, they've got a small point minus the rude part. Do you have to be nasty to someone who is clearly struggling? They've gone thru something that most of us wont go thru so don't judge how they are feeling.

Chances are she doesn't know it was you who performed CPR. I've seen paramedic paperwork from out of hospital cardiac arrests and it says ' bystander' performed CPR. I've never seen any personal details documented. Plus, your input was only the beginning of the woman's journey and many other people will have been involved in her care and recovery. Paramedics, A and E staff, possibly intensive care and theatre staff then the ward drs , nurses, physio etc etc. She'll still be processing it all and in reality, that's a lot of people to seek out and thank. She'll be focussing on herself right now. There have been some good suggestions on here about where you can seek support for your traumatic experience.

Assuming they know. Very probably they don’t - because they were, y’know, clinically dead at the time.