Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Gave cpr. Not heard anything from the victim. Is it ok to feel a little sad?

334 replies

Rizzlekicks123 · 26/07/2025 22:38

Never posted before but was hoping for either some moral support.

I gave cpr recently to a neighbour (who I don't know but who mutual friends do). I am not a medic and havent had formal training. Just online reading. The woman lived and is going to be ok (thank goodness). The thing that is upsetting me is that she hasn't reached out despite knowing how to find me. She owes me nothing and I'd do the same again if I was faced with it, but I feel so sad that the trauma I experienced has not been acknowledged. I dont want anything other than a "are you ok" It was so stressful. Aibu?

OP posts:
Mastercom · 26/07/2025 22:44

I think your feelings are understandable but people often experience PTSD or at least some level of trauma after nearly dying. It might be that talking to you about it is too soon, too much or too traumatic so you may need to process your feelings in other ways.

XenoBitch · 26/07/2025 22:44

YABU, you are owed nothing by the person you did CPR on.

She nearly died.

Are other people checking in on you? Because the last person to be checking in on you should be the person you helped.

Brendahollowayreconsider · 26/07/2025 22:42

You intervened and helped and I can understand being under that pressure and it being traumatic for you.
Equally it must have been traumatic for the woman having a near death experience.
Well done on having the gumption and stepping in.👍

Eastendboysandwestendgirls · 26/07/2025 22:42

To be fair, probably not as much trauma as she experienced. Obviously, it was amazing that you were able to do what you did and I'm sure she's incredibly grateful, but give her chance to come to terms with her own experience.

Longingdreamer · 26/07/2025 22:42

If it was recent, she may not be well enough yet.

She may also be recovering from the trauma herself.

She may not know who gave cpr.

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 26/07/2025 22:42

Don't forget that she needed CPR and it will have been traumatic for her too. She's still recovering.

cestlavielife · 26/07/2025 22:41

A greatvthing you did...You said it was very recent
Maybe she too is traumatised?

If she is neighbour you could knock on door I am sure she will thank you then?

NoweverytimeIgoforthemailbox · 26/07/2025 22:41

Does she even know it was you who did it?

YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 26/07/2025 22:41

how recently? I’m guessing she’s embarrassed

or has she been told about it?

well done though. I gave CPR to my mil many years ago, and I’ve had many incidents since. It stays with you

Swipe left for the next trending thread