Gave cpr. Not heard anything from the victim. Is it ok to feel a little sad?

Please don't take this to heart, but speaking from experience, I had a few members of public give CPR and work horrendously hard on my 2yr old daughter and although I had all their names within a few days of it happening, it took me over 2yrs to contact them/meet up with them and give a heartfelt thank you. Not because I was selfish or didn't want to, but the emotional traumatic side of what happened was enough for it to take that long and for me to be ready to. So never think someone is doing it out of rudeness because I highly doubt that's the case.

Yes, but the woman who almost died is, naturally enough, more concerned about almost dying.

To be fair, given that she saved the woman's life, a fair bit of it IS about OP.

I think that’s unfair. OP saved a life and is feeling traumatised. Trauma responses aren’t rational and she’s sharing here, in a safe space.

She's probably still reeling and probably still in a bit of pain. It's not easy on the body.

Probably better to get someone else to help you process it a bit.

Well done though. It's not an easy thing to do.

I went through something nowhere near as traumatic as giving CPR, but still very shocking and I was the only person to respond to and help the victim.

I get it @OP. The victim speaking with the person who came to their aid, after the event, brings a kind of closure. It's ten days since the event I witnessed happened, and I still feel a bit wobbly. I do have the victims number, but I don't want to have to bother her to find out what happened after I left. But it would help me to draw a line under this.

So yes, given that your recent was now traumatic then mine, I get how you feel. Assuming that the neighbour is now home, I'd hope for at least a brief conversation to bring closure.

Perhaps you could talk about it here OP?

When was this? How are you feeling?

I would just like to add that talking about it is a really important part of you processing it. Do talk about it, but to someone further removed, not to the patient herself.

Wow someone’s heart stopped and you have managed to make it all about you

There is a group called “chain of survival” who you might find supportive, you can track them down on Facebook.

Granted it’s harsh but ultimately it’s correct

Have you checked in on her?

Exactly this. Lean on someone else further out on the ring of support. She’s got a lot to deal with.

CPR is brutal. She might be still recovering physically and mentally.

Don't expect thanks. You were there, she was successfully resuscitated, the end.

Thank you for your contribution.

I'm not really sure its fair for you to feel someone who nearly died ought to be thinking how their near death affected you and check in to see if you're OK.

Perhaps find someone to talk through it with if youre struggling with it.

I see the OP's pov, I think you could use the idea that Jesus Christ saved loads of people and hardly any of them thanked him, okay it's a bit messianic to take that attitude but...
Probably best to take an 'onwards and upwards' attitude.

This^

You're absolutely right in that being in a position where you need to perform CPR on another person is very traumatic and will of course have an impact on you. It's normal to feel upset and fragile afterwards. But I think you're looking in the wrong place for a bit of connection and support.

She's the only person in this scenario who's been through something just as if not 'more' traumatic (not that there's a clear hierarchy because people process trauma differently which can actually matter more than the trauma itself) than you so she may not be in a position to reach out to you or to thank you let alone check in with you. I would imagine that right now you may be quite low on her list of priorities given that she almost died.

You did something selfless and with no expectation of anything in return so I think expecting this of her now is a bit unfair even if it is very human.

I think you need to reach out to other people who care about you, to practice a bit of extra self care for the next wee bit and if you feel like it's impacting on your sleep/ mental wellness then you speak to your gp or seek counselling. You did go through something big, but the person were helping isn't the person to check in on you now in the aftermath.

No need to be this much of a knob, is there?

She might not even remember (trauma can blank out memories of the event in question)

I think you can feel a bit sad and then brighten yourself up with the knowledge that you saved her and how remarkable and admirable you are, because you are.

And it IS traumatic, I felt extremely odd and discombobulated for weeks after a not really similar event (yanking someone away from danger). Have a hug.

How long ago was it? Some people don’t like to think about it, or realise they could never repay you and feel a bit embarrassed. Some don’t tend to realise they’d have been dead without your help. At I think around 17 years old I saved an entire family, including their cat and her kittens, after their drunk teenage son came home from a night out and left a chip pan on which set their house on fire. My thanks was a cheap miniature bottle of whisky? Some people are also just arseholes

If it was traumatic for you, can you imagine the trauma for her?

I saved someone's life once though my work as I'm a first aider.

He thanked me 3 weeks later and was still traumatised, as was his wife.

I'm sure that was traumatic for you too but I think you need to think of this with a "circles of support" model. She nearly died. She leant on you. You need to look to others to support you processing this one, it's not her job.

It's a bit like if someone is bereaved, it is not really their job to send thank you letters to people who go to the funeral. Support leans in, it doesn't go both ways at moments of crisis.

This

Giving cpr is highly stressful and sometimes tramatic.

Being alive is not the only thing that matters. Have you personally visited her? She might be too traumatised herself or physically weak to see you.

Speak to a professional, is my advice.