Gave cpr. Not heard anything from the victim. Is it ok to feel a little sad?

My uncle once rescued an entire family from a house fire. Afterwards, they used to see him around the village most days for decades and actively avoided him every single time. No one else talked about the incident either, my uncle included. I suppose that’s what trauma and mutual embarrassment can do to people.

You did an incredible thing, OP, but don’t be surprised if it is never mentioned again.

I've never forgotten the people who. got me and my brother out of our upturned car. It was decades ago, but it was traumatic, as we were trapped and terrified that it was about to burst into flames.

As they shot out of a house to help us, we knew where they lived. And once we were released from hospital, we sent a card and flowers to the address.
If I was back at home and out and about like this neighbour, I really can't imagine not finding the person who saved me.

What OP did really wasn't comparable to a paramedic dealing with similar. It was out of the blue, she had no training, it wasn't her job and she didn't have a support system and planned professional debriefing.

I hope you can contact one of the organisations in the links @70isaLimitNotaTarget . It looks like they're set up to help you.

Kindly maybe the woman is thinking ‘that neighbour, she gave CPR to me but hasn’t visited me since to see how I’m doing’. Maybe just knock on her door?

also maybe don’t call them a victim. Maybe patient is better?!

I performed old school Holger Neilsen on an 89 year old neighbour two years ago, and thanks to that he made it - he's said thanks, but didn't need to.

Some really harsh replies here. Other people really don’t realise just how traumatic it can be having to do cpr. Health professionals have regular debriefs to improve ways to deal with future situations and continue learning/developing response methods. It is also an important part of the duty of care to staff due to the trauma of being in these situations. Trained professionals who do it for a living require a community around them to survive. Being an individual dealing with it alone is not something that should be brushed under the carpet. We all know ptsd is real.
There are several resources available. Please look some up and contact for help. The sooner the better. You need to process this properly please. You shouldn’t suffer due to doing a good dead ❤️

https://www.google.com/search?q=support+for+people+who+gave+CPR&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-gb&client=safari

But to receive CPR you are unconscious and not breathing, not maintaining eye contact with whoever is giving chest compressions. So she will not know who helped save her life until someone tells her. If they knew who op is.

Yes, so would I.

Well done for being able to perform CPR. It’s possible your neighbour has ongoing problems following her heart problem and is not yet well enough to know the circumstances. You did well but look after yourself as you also have had a huge shock that will have had an impact on you. Performing CPR has a lasting impact on health professionals never mind being a neighbour who is not a medic. Be kind to yourself.

You must have done fucking good quality CPR for her to have not only survived, but made it back to up and about. Amazingly well done to you. But what you need to remember is that however traumatised you feel, and I absolutely believe that you do, she has experienced even more trauma. I doubt that she currently has the psychological bandwidth to reach out to you. Speak to us about it, or one of the organisations mentioned above. A debrief could do you the world of good. But don't put any expectations on her. Trying to recover from having been effectively dead is an enormous mountain for her to climb, physically and mentally. But so well done for giving her the chance to be alive at all.

Have you checked on her since she has been home? I think if I had done CPR on a neighbor and I knew they were now home I’d go round to make sure they were ok and if they needed anything whilst recovering.

Your neighbour was probably taken to Intensive Care and kept unconscious on some very heavy-duty drugs. Coming round from those can be incredibly traumatic - some people hallucinate and think they are being attacked. People tend to block and whole experience out in their memories and/or to be seriously traumatised, so that if your neighbour was told you did CPR, she may not even remember being told.

Congratulations, what you did was a wonderful thing. I remember reading somewhere that only around 10% of resuscitation attempts outside hospitals actually succeed, and you were a major part of that miracle.

I do get it, I did successful CPR on someone who collapsed, he had a ROSC about 2 minutes after the ambulance crew arrived. I still think of him and hope he’s ok

the last guy I helped a few months ago I climbed in his windscreen to get to him and have been looking out for an update as it was such a nasty crash. I kept hearing the bang in my head for weeks after

I had someone contact me two years later after giving them CPR. It’s a very traumatic thing for them too and will take time to process. They may never contact you but it doesn’t mean that they don’t think of you. Get some support or therapy. It’s okay to feel like you want to talk about it, but you can’t place that need at the feet of someone who almost died.

It blows my mind that she is out and about, and hasn’t thought to herself “hang on, I would be dead if it wasn’t for Rizzlekicks123, perhaps I should thank her.” It doesn’t matter how traumatised she is. She’d be worm food now if it wasn’t for you. If ever there’s a time to reach out and thank someone, it’s when they’ve saved your life!

I think I would be thinking about you a lot. So it is a bit weird, but everyone’s different. I still think about the people that sheltered me when I gave birth unexpectedly outside. She won’t have forgotten you.

Well if someone gave me CPR and I survived, the first thing I’d do (when I was able to) would be to thank the person who saved my life. Anyone who doesn’t think to do that simple act is extremely selfish in my opinion.

OP is there a chance she doesn’t know it was you?

OP, I hope you have people in your life who tell you that you did great work and saved a life. It's crucial to have people around who genuinely care and know how to say exactly what you need to hear when it matters most.

OP, don't let the criticism here bring you down. On Mumsnet, nothing seems to bring people more joy than spreading negativity.

Well done op, you did an incredible thing and contributed to this person still being alive today. Depending on her condition she may not be up for reaching out just yet and may never do so.
I once had to do back slaps for a child in my class on the playground because she swallowed a coin. I’ll never forget having to do it, going against all the other training I had working at the school to never touch a child (obviously first aid and life saving generally requires this!). I was terrified myself, had only ever practiced how to do it on a dummy and never in person but the child was struggling to breathe, had turned white as a sheet (she was Indian, never seen a complexion drain from someone quicker). Burst into action and once the coin pinged out and the child was breathing normally again I called the parents - all I actually got down the phone was an ear bashing that she shouldn’t have put money in her mouth and where did she get the coin from etc etc. the amount of paperwork I had to fill in… honestly! No thanks given.
Obviously I didn’t do it to get thanks, when someone is dying in front of your eyes you do what you think you can to help, thanks is not on your mind. But I didn’t think I’d get an ear bashing!

I wouldn’t expect the victim to reach out to their rescuer to check they are okay. I understand it was traumatic for you, but it must have been far more traumatic for your neighbour who presumably nearly died. I don’t think it’s her place to check on you, she will be working through her own trauma. If you need support following the trauma you need to reach out to somebody else or seek counselling, you can’t expect the victim to be the one to seek you out to acknowledge or support you through your trauma. In this situation her trauma trumps yours and it’s completely understandable that she’s not thinking about you when she’s recovering from almost dying!

Fucking hell OP, you saved someone’s life! You’re a bloody hero. My friend had a similar situation recently and it really shook her up. From what I understand, it’s pretty brutal if you’re doing it properly. She didn’t sleep properly for weeks.

YANBU to feel sad that you’ve not heard from the person. The two of you went through something very traumatic together. It may be that they never want to reach out, possibly because of their trauma relating to the event. Please don’t take it personally, I’m sure they are extremely grateful.

I imagine she’s coming to terms with her near death experience too OP. You’re amazing though.

The Sudden Cardiac Arrest Uk website and facebook group has information and support for those who have lived through a cardiac arrest but also for those who were witness to the event or gave cpr. My husband says I was more traumatised than he was by it- he can remember nothing so perhaps it’s not suprising that the person you saved has not reached out to you.

This is really complex, a few years ago my husband 'died' on a field in the middle of nowhere when we were doing dog training. He lived because there was a theatre trained nurse there who performed CPR and also was able to give air ambulance accurate information which helped them save him.

The whole experience was traumatic. We haven't ever reached out, other than by text message, to the people involved although we could because feelings around this are complex.

OP if this experience is causing you trauma I think you need to work on your own response to that which doesn't involve validation from the other person.

You know you did great and actually that should be enough.

You want an "are you ok?" from the person you gave CPR to? I do think that's unreasonable given what they have been through. They very nearly lost their life.

What you did was amazing but I'm sure it's also difficult for you to process. Do you have a support network who are checking in on how you're doing? I agree that you need support too but that shouldn't come from the person you helped.