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AIBU?

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Original poster

To hate holidays with inlaws

132 replies

DodecahedronCat · 26/07/2025 21:54

Every year we go on a UK holiday with my husbands family . His sister in law is the boss of the family, she makes all the plans and everyone follows her. If i ask my husband what we're doing his answer is "I'll see what SISTER says"...
SIL and I are totally different, in 13 years of knowing her she has barely had a conversation with me. I hate being around her and her idea of a holiday is not the same as mine.
I told my husband I cant stand it. He is furious and says its my problem and my bad attitude is ruining the holiday.

OP posts:
Downbadcrying · 26/07/2025 22:05

Oh my word I could have written this word for word.

Solidarity.

Peripissedoff · 26/07/2025 22:04

YANBU - holidays are precious, please don’t put up with other people to keep them happy when it’s clear they’re not thinking about you at all. I’m really sorry your husband doesn’t support you in this. I hope someone can give you some advice on how to deal with your husband over this without falling out. I most definitely would loose my sh*t with my husband if he was expecting me to go away with his family knowing how I felt so I’m not the best to advise xx

phoenixrosehere · 26/07/2025 22:03

If she hasn’t talked to you, would she notice that you’re not there if you went and did your own thing?

There is no reason you should have to do what she wants on your holiday.

Say “that’s nice, I hope you have a lovely time. I’m going to go do xyz. See you later.”

Calm, matter of fact and go and do it or not go if you can.

Everyone else reads to be a bit lazy and waiting for someone to take control so they don’t have to think or plan so they just go along with what she says.

Cherrysoup · 26/07/2025 22:02

Plan your own holiday without the in-laws, particularly if you have dc. Do your own thing. I did a couple of holidays with relatives, but they were very child centric (I don’t have dc) and it just wasn’t my thing. I’m not going to spend time (7 hours!) and money doing a holiday all about someone else’s kids.

Original poster
DodecahedronCat · 26/07/2025 22:02

HollyBough · 26/07/2025 21:59

But why go on holiday with them if you hate it?

For the kids and my husband.
The kids love playing with their cousins and my husband wouldn't want to miss out on the family trip, his family have been doing it since he was a child with his extended family.

OP posts:
HollyBough · 26/07/2025 21:59

But why go on holiday with them if you hate it?

lazyarse123 · 26/07/2025 21:57

I wouldn't go. Why waste your holiday doing stuff you don't want to with bossy folk? Tell your dh he's not your boss and neither is his sister.