To think I never want another man?

Just to add - in my romantic history with men, I have been abused (both physically and emotionally) lied to, slapped, stolen from, cheated on, ben fed lines to get one thing out of me, been left in pain and bleeding while going through a termination at home (I was promised support during that one but he got bored and went out and got pissed instead) so please kindly don’t try and make out that I’m not allowed to have a bleak view of men.
Im glad you have found a good one, but in my experience that’s extremely rare.

Where did I claim it was universal? And you do you enjoy having a go at heartbroken women?

I'm sorry you feel that way, but you shouldn't claim that your personal experience is universal, because it isn't.

@TwistedWonder - the worst one I tried was Fitness Singles. I’d love to know how some defined the word “fit”.

I’m single , honestly the only thing I really want from a man is sex 🤷🏻‍♀️..
Toys don’t cut it for me , aside from that I’m happy with my kid’s & life 😊..
I do have fun but not as much as I’d like …

That’s why I said “every single one I have been with anyway” in my post. If you’d had the experiences I had, you would feel the same way. Trust me. Don’t diminish how I feel about romantic relationships.

Ain’t that the truth

Though the worst of the lot I tried was Ourtime. Their advertising shows Clooneyesque silver foxes with a twinkle in their eye.
Though in reality it’s full of overweight pasty faced, flabby, slack jawed pensioners posting bad selfies all seemingly taken whilst wearing a hi viz vest in the gents toilets in a public park with Norman Bares vibes radiating.

I paid for a months subscription and deleted after about 4 days!

Just have a look through POF, it will put you off. Im happily single, wouldnt mind a relationship if the right one came along but looking through POF is like looking at the rejects pile in a charity shop.

I know what you mean about having someone exclusively to have your back. I think that's the only thing that I tangibly miss. I'm 5 years single, in that time my ex has moved on - I read somewhere that divorced men tend to remarry but divorced women don't - and I would rather sacrifice having someone to ostensibly be there to fight my corner for the freedom I have. I am lonely at times, I won't lie, but it's preferable to the anxiety of being with someone that never loved you as much as you loved them, and with whom the chances of being balls deep in someone else wasn't quite zero.
The thought of OLD makes my pancreas invert with horror. Hard pass.

@Ineednewcurtainsandblinds thankyou xxx it was ten years ago so yes I have realise it wasn’t me but at the time it really hurt 😊 he’s happily remarried now and I honestly wish him the best whilst being very glad to not be married anymore to someone that shallow and thoughtless 🤣🤣

A weighted blanket and a vibrator sounds far easier to sort out when the urge comes around 😆 🤣.

Anyone else now getting DM’s from men?

👏. I would never see another man in my road, stuff that for a laugh, thats what i always say to my husband 😆 🤣 and when he goes i will be love honeys best customer! 😆 🤣

I'm with you OP, zero interest!

Oh @PauliesWalnuts I really feal for you. What an absolute bastard he was. It's definitely him, NOT you. He is a faliure as a human being to treat you that way. You are so well rid of him!

I saw somewhere the happiest two groups of people are: married men and single women!

Another one checking out of dating here. Met my last one at 47 after a decade single (never married or had kids), and for the first couple of years it was lovely. We met OLD part way through Covid so I didn’t worry too much at the start about not meeting his family or kids, or going abroad for a week, because we weren’t allowed. I allowed myself to feel that maybe this one was a keeper.

After four years together we weren’t any further forward in our relationship. I told him that I felt he had compartmentalised me into a small part of his life and asked for a reset. He responded by referring to our relationship in the past tense and dumping me completely out of the blue. Turns out he never loved me, and was really just going out with me as a convenience, someone to do stuff with, easy for him to commute to work on his office days.

It’s been a year since we split up and I am nowhere near over the deceit of him future-faking, and letting me think that I had a chance at a happy future with him. Before him I had always gone into a relationship with an open mind, and a positive outlook but now I feel that he broke that. At 53 I really don’t feel that I can let my guard down again to let anyone else in. I think I have two issues to deal with - firstly, how little he thought of me, and secondly, how at the age of 53 I’ve never lived with anyone, or been engaged, or had a child, or married, or even been proposed to, and that despite all my friends telling me that it isn’t the case, that it isn’t them, it’s me. That last relationship has done so much damage to my self esteem that I really don’t know how I’m going to fix it, it seems like such a gigantic task, and maybe I’m better just counting on myself.

Water good idea......

Nah leave it. There are no benefits at all to having a man in one’s life. Stay single for life and be happy.

OLD is soul destroying, I have given it many goes over the years and never had anything meaningful come of it. My best relationships have been with people I’ve met in ‘real life’. I’d all but given up after yet another disastrous year or so of OLD, when I met DP in the local pub (he’s not local so that was lucky!). Still together 5 years on and I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

I’d rather have a Brie fest than a man!

omg we won!

Most of my friends have happy, healthy relationships. But I’ve had two that were - in very different ways - the opposite of that and even though I miss sex and occasionally someone to chat to randomly as the mood takes me, I’m so much happier on my own than I was for a large chunk of my adult life so I’m not going looking for a man. He’d have to be absolutely incredible to persuade me it was worth giving it a go and I’m not convinced that’s going to materialise!

Some dates might be a bit of fun. But I don’t think OLD is the place to find an actual relationship. But if you don’t want one anyway, and could just dip in very lightheartedly… it could be fun. But on balance, I’d take the peaceful single life rather than any potential headfuck.

God and younger women are saying the others, in their 20s and 30s, have all judged how to treat women by way of porn. Is there a 40s sweet spot?

That wasn’t about you. You do know that? He was just a massive, immature, dickhead and trying to hurt you. Please don’t let him. And if you feel intensely lonely? Nothing wrong with getting out there, if YOU want to. Don’t let one spoiled little shit ruin it for you.
For all I think if my DH was to die, I wouldn’t be arse with replacing him. I also think, if I were to die, in time, my DH would be a thoroughly decent man, on the market! Someone would get lucky with him. It can happen xx