Girlfriend mum drinks 9/11 bottles a wine a week

I drink a similar amount. I know I shouldn't, but I enjoy it so much in the evening. I've been like this for about 15 years now. I am successfully self employed and mostly my bloods always come back healthy. I know it could be a ticking time bomb, so I am trying to cut back. Anyway, I guess I'm trying to say that people can and do function drinking 1-2 bottles of wine in the evening. I know alot of people who do it.

Both the mum and dad have alcohol issues, but this thread is practically all about the mum. I think both will need to address their alcohol problems for there to be any chance of them cutting down.

Sorry but she needs reporting. I wouldn’t want me or my loved ones under medical care from a nurse who is clearly an alcoholic and likely at work still under the influence. She’s lucky she’s gotten away with this behaviour for so long with nothing bad happening!

Aside from the health harms, this must cost a fortune. Even at the cheap end of the market say at £6 a bottle that is going to cost £282

Also the first step to overcoming an addiction is the addict acknowledging that they have a problem. This most likely won’t come as a result of her family expressing their concern. It will take something bigger, or not at all.

I used to drink too much… about 50% over the recommended level.

What made me think twice was totting up the calories, adding up the cost and cost per year , and working out how much I was giving to the Gvt in tax on that number of bottles.

But I did that for myself.

If someone else had told me I was drinking tl much I would have thought them judgey and bossy.

But it’s really concerning that a nurse is drinking like that

She’s drinking over ten times the recommended maximum units - possibly more, depending on the strength of the wine. Telling her how much she’s drinking won’t help much really - at this level she needs professional help to cut down, or ideally, stop.

My SiL was drinking 1-2 bottles of wine per night for around 20 years. It started when she lost her husband. We tried to intervene but she wouldn’t listen to anyone - said she enjoyed her wine and didn’t consider it excessive.

Her health started to deteriorate mildly in her early sixties but there were few outward signs to those who didn’t know what was going on. Eventually she started to have falls and was hospitalised several times after significant injury. Each time she had to be treated for withdrawal symptoms because her body had got used to the alcohol and she would have seizures without it.

Eventually she had a major convulsion and on admission to ITU was sedated and put on life support in ITU while they investigated. She was found to have suffered brain damage and the alcohol had caused irreparable damage to internal organs, including end stage cirrhosis. Each time they tried to remove sedation she would have another seizure. Eventually she was taken off life support and passed away because there was nothing else they could do. She was 67.

The problem is that the body can take quite a bashing from alcohol for a while and there are few outward signs of resulting damage until it becomes severe - by which time in many cases it’s too late to do anything about it.

Please don’t try to intervene by yourself. She’s a functioning alcoholic and she needs professional help. Maybe start with the GP and go from there. It sounds awful but if she’s driving to work in the mornings the best thing that could happen is that she gets stopped and breathalysed. Maybe a drink driving conviction could be what she needs to pull her up short and get help.

Unfortunately my experience with alcoholics, especially those that manage to ‘function’ daily, is that they seldom change or acknowledge they have a problem until it’s too late. And too late generally means a health problem which they will then deny is alcohol related.

Given the acceptance of alcohol by society it’s the worst addiction to own up to and most people will sever a relationship to defend themselves before they consider giving it up. They become defensive and will make you out to be intolerant and stuck up because you don’t accept or worry about their habits which don’t appear to be causing them or their family any problems.

I haven’t read the whole post but I too would call the police if she is driving. It may be the wake up call that is needed.

Personally i would ring the police when she is drink driving. She could kill someone

I did this myself in a job when a pissed nurse was found with a fruit shoot bottle full of vodka and ran off to her car, we called the police who intercepted her at her home and she got done for it.

I'd be very suspicious of any soft drink bottles that this woman has with her on duty.

If you really wanted to at least stop her being a danger on the road you can call the police when you know she is driving to work and they can intercept her when she arrives.

I'm sure they'll be interested to hear of a nurse drink driving.

Ok so as the daughter I would be threatening to call social services and report to the nurses council. I know it’s the nuclear option but fuck it, drink driving with a kid in the car, and putting her patients at risk?! She needs a short sharp shock.

Or as PPs said I would report to the police.

So she’s likely driving over the limit? I’d call the police. If she’s handling medications or otherwise a risk to patients in her job I’d make the police aware of this also. You will all have to live with the guilt if she kills someone either on the road or at work due to be intoxicated when you all knew about it…

You could tip off the police that someone leaving a certain address was known to be drinking. I know someone this happened to and they got suspended from driving which affected their ability to work, really put them in an awkward situation, but it did, for a while, wake them up to the reality of what they were doing.
It might sound harsh, but if she were to hit somebody and kill them the consequences would be much harsher

That is obviously far too much and she has an alcohol problem, is an alcoholic.

She will also know this, deep down. You/your GF telling her is not going to shock her into changing, but it may well cause her to avoid the two of you, it might cause her to shift blame to you and try to drive a wedge between you.

The only person who can change her behaviour... is her.

Your GF is best off distancing herself and telling her Mother she won't be around her if she is drinking, is drunk etc etc.

I mean she's an alcoholic and pretty far gone one at that. That is quite some alcohol tolerance there. I am a regular drinker but the very few times I have drunk the equivilent of two bottles of wine in one night (these can be counted on one hand) the next day (or even two) were a write off and most of the next morning was spent hugging the toilet.

It's a huge amount, and more worryingly the risk she's putting other road users, patients and even her own little girl in.

Perhaps your girlfriend could issue an ultimatum that she needs to get signed off work and address the alcoholism. Or she'll be reporting her to the police for drink driving.

@youalright fair point.

You are really, really not wrong. Your poor gf.

I'm very sorry to say there's a good chance this won't end well. The best thing you can do at this point is read about what it's like for children of alcoholics and what to expect.
Very sadly your gf may end up eventually having to make hard choices about her mum and her dad and it will help if you know what support others have needed while going down this well-trodden path.

I was going through 1 or 2 bottles a night when my addiction was at its worst and getting up at 05:00 for a long shift in ICU. Completely shameful. It's amazing how well alcoholics can function normally - until they can't.

There are alot of functioning alcoholics out in the workplace and driving about.

@Zodiac82 sound more like alcoholics who are digging themselves into an early grave!!

That is a lot but only they can change it. You cant help an addict who doesnt want to be helped they will have a medical problem at somepoint and hopefully it will make them realise before its to late

Id be concerned about her ability to do her job. Especially if she's in charge of medications....

Did it work? I'm thinking it probably didn't as the Mum is almost certainly aware that she drinks to much.