Page 5 | Girlfriend mum drinks 9/11 bottles a wine a week

Darls3000 · 27/07/2025 18:10

Her mum is an alcoholic and so is her dad sadly.

Alexaremovethenotifications · 27/07/2025 18:04

youalright · 26/07/2025 17:34

There are alot of functioning alcoholics out in the workplace and driving about.

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Doesn’t mean it’s right!

learningtoliveagain · 27/07/2025 17:58

Zodiac82 · 26/07/2025 17:05

My girlfriend mum will drink easily between 9/11 bottles of wine a week and despite my girlfriend talking to her, she don't feel it is a issue.

The dad also drinks heavily, around 6/8 cans nightly. Both work full time, she works as a nurse.

My girlfriend made a diary of how much she drank at home in June and it was 47 bottles.

Now am I wrong in thinking that this is a insane amount of wine to be drinking on a weekly basis? I don't drink at all myself but having 1/2 bottles bottles each night seems crazy to me.

My mom wags the same and to be honest I remember asking a Dr about it. A functioning alcoholic was his answer.

MMUmum · 27/07/2025 17:58

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 26/07/2025 20:25

Absent the alcoholic in question being filmed taking swigs from a bottle of vodka while they're on the ward, what constitutes proof in this context? Can an NHS manager insist that one of their staff takes a breathalyser test based on suspicion of being intoxicated?

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No but they can suspend them from duty pending investigation, it's a dismissable offence. They can also report to her professional body, with a view to sanctions

WhereIsMyJumper · 27/07/2025 17:58

I don’t know how anyone can do it. I like a drink, my main issue is that I can’t just have one - but I also can’t finish a whole bottle of wine to myself either and usually drink twice per week max - but sometimes go through periods of abstinence just simply because I don’t feel like drinking.
That’s a LOT of wine.

MMUmum · 27/07/2025 17:55

Zodiac82 · 26/07/2025 17:05

My girlfriend mum will drink easily between 9/11 bottles of wine a week and despite my girlfriend talking to her, she don't feel it is a issue.

The dad also drinks heavily, around 6/8 cans nightly. Both work full time, she works as a nurse.

My girlfriend made a diary of how much she drank at home in June and it was 47 bottles.

Now am I wrong in thinking that this is a insane amount of wine to be drinking on a weekly basis? I don't drink at all myself but having 1/2 bottles bottles each night seems crazy to me.

I doubt she'll be safe to practice with that level of intake, she could be putting lives at risk as well as her professional registration

SkintSingleMumm · 27/07/2025 14:20

Id be worried about leaving the 11year old in that situation. You could discuss with school/social services. Someone needs to safeguard her

Radioundermypillow · 27/07/2025 07:59

It's doubly hard for the Op's GF because her parents are supporting each other in their drinking.

Having a really supportive partner will help her a lot OP. Just be aware that neither of you can fix this. I always recommend therapy for adult children of alcoholics, but AL anon can also help.

Also, and this might seem unnecessary at this point, your GF will probably want to keep an eye on her own coping mechanisms as alcohol abuse can often run in families.

Zempy · 27/07/2025 07:25

A friend of mine who is alcoholic has just been diagnosed with oesophageal cancer in his early fifties. It’s terminal. And incredibly painful. Totally caused by his drinking.

This woman and her husband are aware of the risks but are choosing not to seek help for their addiction. There’s very little your GF can do about it. I would spend as little time with them as possible and hope GF can move out soon.

LillyPJ · 27/07/2025 06:08

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do. They will never stop until they decide they want to and even then they will need help. It is a terrible situation and you're right to be concerned. As others have said, contact. Al Anon or some other organisation which helps friends and relatives of alcoholics.

MrsClatterbuck · 27/07/2025 05:50

Just looked at one those online morning after calculators and according to it after a bottle of wine you should wait 11 hours after stopping drinking before driving.

Rafting2022 · 27/07/2025 05:25

Shitshowcentral · 26/07/2025 22:09

Not ideal but not something I could get majorly worked up about. Quite normal to drink every day in many countries. In England we love to clutch pearls if anybody daresome have more than a thimble full per annum.

You really don’t think there’s any middle ground between a thimbleful and the volumes this woman is drinking?

Original poster

Zodiac82 · 26/07/2025 23:38

Thank you for all the responses, I have read every single one and appreciate all the feedback and advice given.

Have also shown my girlfriend the messages to and she thanks you also.

She did confront the mum about 2 months ago about the drinking, told her it makes her uncomfortable and how she is worried about how much she drinks.

The mum at first seemed understanding and said she will cut down a bit... but... literally that evening she returned back from shopping with wine/beer with her husband and both were laughing about it in front of my girlfriend. For some reason they think it's a joke.

Unfortunately her mum and dad are really not the kind of people who will ever listen or take advice from my girlfriend, believe me, they will just tell her to mind her own business or shut up.

My girlfriend is mainly worried about the youngest sister who is 11 (nearly 12) as the oldest sister has just moved out and my girlfriend goes back to uni in September. There hasn't been any volince or threats ect to the children but with the amount they drink in the evening, you can never be sure can you? One night something could happen when drunk.

I haven't mentioned the dad much as purely for the reason he will never ever listen to anyone, he does what he wants and god forbid anyone tells him any different. He will come home from work, sit in front of the TV, either watch sport all night or play Xbox and drink until 12/1am.

So my girlfriend has tried with the mum but so far no luck. Thank you though, with the feedback we will go away and think what to do next. Thank you

OP posts:

Bookloveruk · 26/07/2025 22:50

That’s a really high volume of alcohol to drink and won’t be good for her. I feel for your girlfriend as it can’t be easy watching her mother drinking like that not to mention her younger sibling. Wishing her well

3luckystars · 26/07/2025 22:37

That’s more than anyone I know!

How is she affording all of that wine? That’s an insane amount.

TryingAgainAgainAgain · 26/07/2025 22:35

Shitshowcentral · 26/07/2025 22:09

Not ideal but not something I could get majorly worked up about. Quite normal to drink every day in many countries. In England we love to clutch pearls if anybody daresome have more than a thimble full per annum.

You're an idiot then.

mumda · 26/07/2025 22:33

Sounds like someone useful to know if you want to bottle up a few gallons of homebrew wine.

That's a serious amount of booze. It'd take me about 5 years to drink that much.

Imbusytodaysorry · 26/07/2025 22:31

Yes sounds like an alcoholic to me too.

CheesyWotsitsAreinTheCupboard · 26/07/2025 22:31

Youdontseehow · 26/07/2025 21:38

I totally agree. But people often don’t want the responsibility/hassle/guilt which comes with reporting someone and them potentially someone losing their job. The NMC as an organisation are actually pretty poor and have a massive backlog of fitness to practice cases, despite “streamlining” the process years ago.

Nursing is bad for ignoring issues and hoping someone else takes the lead. Poorly performing nurses, those that bully others etc are often just moved to another clinical area rather than disciplined and dealt with. I once worked in a ward when a nurse was caught stealing from a patient’s locker and they were just asked to leave and given a reference for a new job! There’s a whole raft of literature about it including not failing poor students and instead giving them a low pass hoping the mentor on the next placement will fail them.

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Agree, the NMC are shit poor as an organisation for various reasons but I would still raise concerns. That way they can’t plead ignorance or pass the buck.

dotdotdotdash · 26/07/2025 22:18

Satisfiedwithanapple · 26/07/2025 20:25

It’s a lot but how have you worked that out? Most wine is under 10 units a bottle so 11x10 is 110 units.

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You’re right, my bad; it’s 10 units for an average bottle…

Radioundermypillow · 26/07/2025 22:16

Shitshowcentral · 26/07/2025 22:09

Not ideal but not something I could get majorly worked up about. Quite normal to drink every day in many countries. In England we love to clutch pearls if anybody daresome have more than a thimble full per annum.

Yeah that's just silly.

NewbieYou · 26/07/2025 22:10

Shitshowcentral · 26/07/2025 22:09

Not ideal but not something I could get majorly worked up about. Quite normal to drink every day in many countries. In England we love to clutch pearls if anybody daresome have more than a thimble full per annum.

She’s drinking enough to kill her. Not a thimble full. An enormous amount. 35 units a week is considered highly dangerous by health professionals. She’s drinking 90+

Shitshowcentral · 26/07/2025 22:09

Not ideal but not something I could get majorly worked up about. Quite normal to drink every day in many countries. In England we love to clutch pearls if anybody daresome have more than a thimble full per annum.

LillyPJ · 26/07/2025 21:59

Zodiac82 · 26/07/2025 17:13

She drives to work yes, some nights stops drinking 11pm and drives 6.30am

She also admitted back in May to drink driving at night with her 11 year daughter in the back.

Not the most responsible nurse at all

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That's appalling. She's putting other people at risk by drink- driving. Is it possible to report it to the police? Would they do anything?

Supersimkin7 · 26/07/2025 21:57

Great nurse.