Girlfriend mum drinks 9/11 bottles a wine a week

Actually it's about 90 units, but still a lot. That said a lot of people I know will drink a bottle of wine on a few days during the week, sometimes more at the weekend.

Do you / does she knows WHY she is drinking to this extent? Habit / stress / other reasons? (and how do they afford it??).
Either way, not acceptable under any circumstances - and no, I am not a saint, I enjoy a drink, or several sometimes at weekends to 'unwind' after a stressful week at work, (and yes, I know that even that isn't good), but I will never even have a glass of wine the day (day, not even night) before driving, or going to work. Maybe you could show her this thread, before a tragedy happens - at work, or while driving the day after?
Or, the thing that made my sister stop drinking to a similar extent was to film her just talking before, during & after the first bottle - she was so shocked it stopped her overnight. Tough love is needed. Good luck, you obviously care about her🌹

Verey true. Giving up smoking worked like that for my father - once he stopped all the trauma from War that the smoke had been sitting on came bubbling up and he then dealt with , with a Repat. Hospital psychiatrist,

I think many alcoholics can point to a particular event(s) that kick-started their drinking problems. But I also think that for others there's not necessarily such a clear starting point. Alcoholism tends to run in families although whether that's nurture or nature is still a matter of debate.

Regardless, I think as with any addiction there comes a point where the original reasons become much less important than the biochemical feedback loop that keeps the addiction going.

If you've got a well-established addiction that started because you had a shitty childhood, resolving your childhood issues won't make the addiction go away because by then the addiction is self-sustaining.

You've got to deal with the addiction first despite it telling you that you can't. Once you've got the addiction under control you may very well realise that the childhood issues you had are much less influential than the addiction was telling you they were.

Your partners parents will be aware of how much they are drinking as they are buying it, so I’m not sure gathering evidence of quantity is the right approach.

in my experience there’s something behind excessive drinking that the alcohol provides comfort from. In your MIL’s case I suspect it’s probably what she sees in her day to day work. Must be terrible at times!

Does she get to debrief about her day over a cup of tea/coffee? is it possible for her to take a side step in the medical industry such as sales or training and have an break from the actual caring?

I have to say I’m terrible for being able to drink several glasses/bottle myself. DH, and I agree, picked the increase starting with a hospitality job I was in 15 years ago where I had to deal with staff theft and ongoing Investigations, and in hindsight I should have left. Thus my reasoning for your MIL…

Sarah Rusbatch on FB has a women’s wellbeing page which is a great support group for drinkers and families alike. She gets right into the science behind drinking and also has a book starting with her journey. It’s worth a read.

Your GF should get support for herself first. She is the victim of two alcoholic parents throughout her childhood and will definetly have suffered neglect and abuse in this dysfunctional home setting. Have a look at the resources on https://adultchildren.org/ as well as https://al-anonuk.org.uk/ where she will learn to protect herself by 'detaching with love' and ensuring that she is not inadvertently enabling both of their alcoholism. Your GF needs to understand that she cannot impact their choices directly but that she must recognise the emotional toil this has had on her own development and to focus soley on protecting and repairing her own mental health.

The younger DC is a significant safeguarding concern (especially the driving) and this needs professional oversight. Maybe an anonymous message to school to outline the extent and risks that this young child (with no older siblings in the house) is exposed to.

I'm really confused as to why you're on this thread tbh.

I don't

This is so true of my friend.

This.
There is the stereotype of the wobbly man in the street that is clutching a bottle. Or the early morning visitors to Wetherspoons.

You can have a good job, relationships etc. But be drinking behind closed doors, and no one will have a clue.

And yes, your body builds up a tolerance. People will say that they would be wrecked on a few glasses of wine... but an alcoholic that has been drinking for a long time will seem perfectly normal after even a couple of bottles.

Also a functioning or topped-up alcoholic /heavy drinker can appear quite normal despite having consumed a large quantity of alcohol their body can become used to the effect and they can seem unimpaired despite being very intoxicated!

Thoroughly unpleasant post. Have a look at my post upthread. My SiL drank two bottles of wine a day for over twenty years. No one knew anything about it until she was hospitalised and the extent of the damage was revealed. The cumulative effect of the alcohol had a devastating effect in the end and she died a horrible death. Not sure why you don’t believe OP - just because it’s outside your experience doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

Apart the potential liver disease, how much is all this costing?

Hopefully having this woman removed from active nursing! Would you want her in charge of your meds?

Lots of opinions here from people who have no experience with alcoholism
I would recommend reading Chapter 3 of the big-book of Alcoholics Anonymous or exploring al-anon
alcoholism is a disease (diagnosis by the WHO
anyone who is a non-alcoholic but worried about the effects of alcohol on someone else should contact Al Anon who can provide information support and advice for people who are affected by someone else’s drinking
in my experience successful recovery almost always results from a rock-bottom experience ( major loss EG health /relationship /liberty)
until they reach the turning point (sick and tired of being sick and tired)
active alcoholics are usually acting on selfishness dishonesty and resentment it’s not who they are just a symptom of the illness
You can get lots of help and support from al anon they can give advice specific to your situation rather than asking for advice from a group of people who can’t offer specific answers for your issue

My ex started drinking that amount between Friday lunchtime to Sunday teatime towards the end of my second pregnancy. I asked him to curb it so he could drive me to hospital when I went into labour.

Fortunately that happened mid-week as he didn't stop. Still hasn't, by all accounts, 20 years later.

His father died recently of alcohol-related health complications. I think the pattern has been broken with my dc as I got us out before they realised that was our life at that point.

@WunTooThree That documentary was so harrowing. I'm haunted by the image of that man pouring that huge quantity of wine down his throat in one go. The interviewer was obviously disturbed by it too - enough to intervene and ask whether it would be better to go more slowly. 'l don't sip' was the reply. It was so sad to see them throwing their lives away.

What is your point?

Surely you give the OP benefit of the doubt, and listen to her worries.

Alcoholism is no joke. Best she get some solid advice than be accused of making things up or exaggerating. Other people will be reading this thread and getting help from it too.

It seems that you just don't believe that someone can drink as much as 11 bottles of wine in a week because you only have the one.. Some people drink even more than that.

Watch 'Rain in my Heart'. It is on iPlayer. One young lady on it was drinking 1-2 bottles of wine per day... and she died during the filming of the documentary. Another part features a young man who is forcing wine down himself, throwing up, then drinking more.

Ah - but were you an eye witness?! Because obviously nobody drinks more than one bottle a night... (Just in case, I'd better say that I am being sarcastic here!)

My neighbours ( a couple) drank 6 bottles of wine in one night between the two of them. Of course it’s possible. I don’t know what you are getting out of this thread at all.

Do you really think someone can't drink 11 bottles a week because I can assure you they can? It doesn't sound like you know any alcoholics.

@llizzie Watch 'Rain in my Heart' on BBC iPlayer. It's a documentary about alcoholics. There you can actually see alcoholics downing pints of wine for yourself. You will see the awful effects it has. You will see real people - not actors - who are willing to give up everything for drink, including their life. You will also learn that expensive wine is no less addictive than the cheap stuff and that all alcohol is harmful. Why believe it's possible to drink one bottle a night but not more? The whole point of addiction is that you build up a tolerance and always crave more. If you didn't believe the OP, why did you comment? I hope you watch the documentary because it's powerful and thought-provoking. As you know, it's possible for many people to enjoy a pint of beer or appreciate a glass of wine without any harmful consequences. But unfortunately that's not true for everyone.

Not lying, though there is a fine line separating lying and making things look worse than they are.

It isn't the eye witness who is the OP, is it?

You have said so yourself that you do not know any alcoholics. Many of us on this thread do, or struggle ourselves.

OP's girlfriend is an eye witness to the drinking, yet you are somehow accusing her of lying.. or that OP is making it all up. I am not sure what your motive here is.

OP is after support and advice... not being told that you can get posh wine in auctions.

Even so, we still only have the word of the OP. We don't know for fact, do we, that this friend of hers isn't upset with her mother and telling porkies to get back?

There has to be evidence, eye witness evidence before an accusation should be taken as fact.

I have tried to explain the myriad of problems that can be created for someone when they are wrongly accused.

I would not vote on this thread, because I cannot be convinced it happens. If it was one bottle a day, it might be believed, but 11 a week?