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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask dd to apologise to her dad?

83 replies

notanothersummercold · 26/07/2025 15:48

Dd put some washing in the machine earlier, tried to then open the door after we specifically said don't try because it won't open which of course it wouldn't as it it had already started - she used quite a bit of force - and it has now broken the machine. DH has spent all afternoon trying to fix it - l have told dd she needs to just say to her dad sorry if l broke the machine - but she is absolutely refusing and sitting crying because she won't acknowledge she had any part in this.

AIBU to expect a 13 year old to know when she needs to accept she has done wrong?

DH is annoyed because she didn't listen when we told her not to touch the machine but is really trying to fix it and hasn't had a go at her or anything like that - l just feel like she should acknowledge it.

OP posts:
IdaGlossop · 26/07/2025 15:59

Of course she should apologise and contribute to the cost of repair. She needs to understand the relationship between her actions and negative things happening. You are doing all the right things, OP.

heroinechic · 26/07/2025 15:58

Did anyone see her try to open it? I’m just wondering as you say she’s refusing to acknowledge she had any part it in. Is she saying she didn’t do it; or she did do it, but that it didn’t cause the machine to break?

The fact she’s sitting crying makes me think she feels guilty about it. Forcing an apology isn’t a genuine apology and so is meaningless anyway. I’d give her a bit of space and see if she apologises later.

hepsitemiz · 26/07/2025 15:55

She should leave the “if” bit out of her apology. “Sorry I broke the machine” (not “Sorry if I broke the machine”).
And yes she should at least help pay for getting it fixed.

Original poster
notanothersummercold · 26/07/2025 15:52

Thanks everyone- thought l was going to get a flaming!!

So if she doesn't, l am going to withhold pocket money to pay for the part needed. And she will lose her phone for the rest of the weekend which is nothing to do with what has happened but will give her time to reflect

Her main concern was about her clothes that were stuck in the machine!! I know teenagers are selfish but seriously!!!

OP posts:
IHate · 26/07/2025 15:51

She should apologise to both of you and explain why she did it. Why is she refusing to apologise and what’s this about: sitting crying because she won't acknowledge she had any part in this?

Ooodelally · 26/07/2025 15:50

Yes, she should take responsibility. Of course she should. If he can’t fix it and it has to be fixed professionally she should pay for it out of pocket/birthday money or by going without a club/luxury.

user1473878824 · 26/07/2025 15:50

Yes she absolutely should apologise!

you told her not to, she did it anyway, is going to cost you money to get it fixed, and her dad has spent time trying to fix it!

accidents happen but you still apologise for them.

randomchap · 26/07/2025 15:49

Absolutely she should apologise

What are you going to do if she doesn't?