To ask dd to apologise to her dad?

This

Blimey, only took her 4 days 😂

Removing the phone - vindictive.
Give over! Vindictive?! OP has said it'll give her time to reflect. That's definitely harder these days with so many distractions.

Often young people don't apologise because they panic then deny or get defensive to avoid feeling bad.

Oh, I agree, if we're talking small children. 13? No, they're okd enough to take accountability, that's just pathetic to excuse it.

Hurrah op! Fwiw you were not in the wrong and some pp were being mental

Of course she should apologise. My 4 yo is old enough to know to apologise if they have done something wrong

@JemimaTiggywinkles

It WAS deliberate!

Have you googled how to force the door open on your machine? Mine has a hidden pull next to the bottom filter that forces the door open. This should allow you to use your machine until the part arrives x

She obviously didn’t do it in purpose! Just get it fixed, seems like she has already learned her lesson. She’s probably scared of being told off and thought she knew better by trying to open it

I actually can't believe how many are saying the daughter shouldn't apologise or have repercussions for her actions. She was specifically told to not touch the machine and persisted, broke it and now her dad's spending all day fixing it, it probably won't get fixed and everyone is stuck until god knows when with no clean clothes. She needs to learn consequences and sitting crying and refusing to apologise to anyone is so childish. Actually even a younger child would apologise for not listening and breaking it. No wonder there's so many teens and kids turning out like poor adults who can't cope with life when they get older, parents constantly letting them off with everything and fixing life for them so they have little to no understanding of general consequences and repercussions

@cestlavielife

yeah, can’t you just give her a cuddle and make her a hot chocolate, OP? @notanothersummercold

Need the laughing emoji! FFS! 🤦‍♀️

kidshavefeelingstoo. That's pathetic.

JemimaTiggywinkles.
Seriously. Of course it was deliberate. She deliberately tried to open the washing machine after been told not too.

Only on MN could someone completely ignore their parents , break something as a result and then the parent be told they should be thanking them for trying to help.

Did you thank her for trying to help by putting the washing machine on in the first place? She’s obviously tried to do something good and it’s gone wrong! Happens to us all and I’m sure she didn’t break the machine on purpose! You know she already feels bad about it and she knows she’s made a mistake because she’s crying about it - why do you want her to feel worse?? Dad is the adult and can regulate his emotions- it’s just annoying for him - she’s a teenager which is a time when everything is blown into more than what it is I’m sure she feels more upset than him and if you want her to try to help around the house in future you need to acknowledge she was trying to help and be supportive not criticise when she makes a mistake

Id be mortified if I had to MAKE my 8yr old to apologise for this, he woukd know he had to apologise and he woukd know he was losing his ipad for a week for not listening.

This seems really harsh. At 13 she’s not going to know it’ll break - did you actually explain it to her? She’s too old for a “because I said so” when given an instruction. It is developmentally normal (and good tbh) that teenagers don’t just take their parents’ word for it every time.

She obviously felt bad, so hopefully she’ll apologise for the inconvenience she’s caused her dad but I definitely wouldn’t take her phone to force the issue. And there’s no way I’d require a 13yo to pay unless the damage was deliberate.

PS she should apologize for the not listening, the breaking of it and not taking responsibility. But forcing out a none apology doesn't feel worth it

She needs to accept responsibility, no one made her do it, she did it and despite being told not to. If her dad has spent time trying to unpick her mess then she should apologize -lm assuming he had other plans for the weekend. I think pay towards the part so she feels the actual consequence and phone being taken for the defiance / lying about it not being her.

I am sure I am wrong as her dad seems to know what he is doing. But just in case, did she break a piece off the machine or did the machine just stop and refuse to let the washing out? I have done that on mine, I have to wait until the locking device finishes then set it to drain and spin and then wait for the normal unlock bell signalling door released. If she has broken a piece off the door, that has happened in our house, we super glued it back on, it worked for a few years until thd repair broke and we had to get a new door, it was relatively cheap, arrived next day and easy to fit

This with bells on.

You seem more focussed on controlling her than engaging with her.

Not listening is far more annoying than the actual broken washing machine in my book. My DS didn't listen at that age and is not much better 10 years older.

However, he has learnt from his mistakes so doesn't repeat the same things - just takes no notice of new things when we say "that won't work"

This happened yesterday, so hopefully DD has had time to reflect. I don't think the removal of the phone was vindictive. As you say, what suitable consequences can you impose? Sure she could take the washing to the launderette - but I have no clue where our local one is anymore.

Yes, your daughter needs to apologise to her Dad. Actions have consequences. She was told not to try and open the door, which she ignored, forced the door and has broken it. She's 13, not a little child, and therefore has to learn to take responsibility for her actions. Of course she was involved, and her fault, the fact she's unwilling to accept she had any part in the incident is ridiculous!! Let her bawl her eyes out...leave her to calm down but then you need a conversation with her. Explain why it's her fault and why she needs to apologise to her Dad. If she still won't then, you need to punish her, not necessarily for what she did, but for the lack of responsibility towards her own actions.

Haha my male lodger did this exact thing. Tried to force the door open as he’d forgotten to add something he needed washing. I did warn him not to also. He paid for the plumber and the parts to fix it but he wasn’t happy about it and no apology….