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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there are very few nice people here on Mumsnet anymore?

112 replies

NaiceSnail · 26/07/2025 14:14

I’ve been on here for a while and recently, it feels like the vibe has really changed. So many posts seem to get turned into arguments or people are just downright rude to others. I get that Mumsnet is a place for strong opinions but it’s starting to feel like kindness and constructive conversation are in short supply. Maybe it’s just me but are there actually still genuinely nice people around here or has it become more of a space for venting and putting others down?

AIBU to long for a bit more positivity and civility around here?

OP posts:
BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 26/07/2025 18:28

MinglyMadly · 26/07/2025 18:28

"Posts like this have been made many times before..." would be one way.

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That’s worse than “Here we go again”!

MinglyMadly · 26/07/2025 18:28

ilovesooty · 26/07/2025 18:26

What would you suggest I say to make the point?

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"Posts like this have been made many times before..." would be one way.

ilovesooty · 26/07/2025 18:27

EmpressaurusKitty · 26/07/2025 18:17

It’s extremely rude and also misogynistic.

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Yes, it is.

ilovesooty · 26/07/2025 18:26

MinglyMadly · 26/07/2025 18:22

This is typical. Did you really need to start your post with "here we go again". If you wanted to make the point that this is a duplicate post this could have been said in a less belittling way.

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What would you suggest I say to make the point?

SparklingXmas · 26/07/2025 18:26

I’ve been on for 17 years and some people can’t help themselves- just try to ignore them. Plus Mumsnet has become more popular during that time - with quotes and references in mainstream media, so maybe that’s why- more people, more diverse opinions etc

IFinishedTheBiscuits · 26/07/2025 18:24

I have been here probably 15 years, but with a break in the middle, and have not noticed any difference.

Maybe it was nicer while I was away!

There always used to be some kind, supportive people, others who would be deliberately nasty and judgemental, then a few 'mean girls' who seemed to get away with being horrible because they were on every single thread in a kind of 'in-crowd.'

Gardendiary · 26/07/2025 18:24

I've been coming on here on and off for 15 years and I remember at first thinking that some of the responses were really harsh, particularly on aibu. Like absolutely brutal, so in that way I think its similar. However, I do think there were also more funny and interesting threads. This might be a societal change as a whole, politics are polarising, there is a lot less money around for many people, and a generally depressing international landscape, possibly people are just feeling less jovial and inclined for banter.

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 26/07/2025 18:22

stayathomer · 26/07/2025 15:30

I find it mad that a poster might for example post about her son or daughter doing something not great and people will call them a little b*tch, spoiled brat, c word etc- over something not all that huge and definitely forgetting it’s only a kid/ teen etc and they’ve probably done much worse. Definitely definitely definitely a harsher angry crowd but still an amazing place for tips help and solidarity

I’ve noticed a big rise in this over the last year or so. Don’t know what’s causing it, but I don’t think it’s a positive development.

Posters sniping at each other has happened for years, but this level of vitriol against children seems new.

MinglyMadly · 26/07/2025 18:22

ilovesooty · 26/07/2025 14:37

Here we go again. It's probably like real life. People in general are a mixture and there are a lot of angry people around.

I do think there's a rise in unapologetically racist and ableist posts though.

This is typical. Did you really need to start your post with "here we go again". If you wanted to make the point that this is a duplicate post this could have been said in a less belittling way.

Screamingabdabz · 26/07/2025 18:22

I was here over 20 years ago when it was an elitist bitchy clique of Sloane rangers with boarding school slang and the snob value to go with it. It is not nastier now, it’s just more diverse, so it’s not the elite little middle class in-group you’d like it to be. YABU.

IZK · 26/07/2025 18:20

NaiceSnail · 26/07/2025 15:12

Is this a genuine question or just a subtle way of proving my point?

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It's a genuine question, although you don't have to answer obviously?

Tia247 · 26/07/2025 18:17

I find that people are really big on punishment on here.

They don't seem to understand that punishing and punishing a 3 year old with SEN is not the answer or that just punishing and punishing a 15 year old is not going to make them respect or listen to you.

Someone the other day was insinuating if their child behaved like the OP's 3 year old with SEN then they'd be giving them a good whack till their bum was hot. The child was non verbal and melting down FGS.

Being rude or nasty to other adults over the internet is one thing but it makes me worry how some kids are being raised - especially if their SEN are undiagnosed and parents decide they are just bad.

EmpressaurusKitty · 26/07/2025 18:17

ilovesooty · 26/07/2025 17:53

It's not very pleasant to refer to a fellow poster as "smug witch" and "hag".

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It’s extremely rude and also misogynistic.

Bettysnow · 26/07/2025 17:55

The nasty ones I believe are the ones who wouldn't say boo to a goose in real life and get some sort of weird kick being nasty on here whilst hiding behind a screen

TheGentleButFirmMadonna · 26/07/2025 17:54

I find gransnet much more accepting of old fashioned types which includes: people who are Christian, pro life, against too much over diagnosing nd brains and against overmedicalising

ilovesooty · 26/07/2025 17:53

LittleMi55Nobody · 26/07/2025 16:50

you are so right..i had this smug witch giving me a lecture on how she was right and i was wrong..quick google search.Miss know it all was wrong but im to much of a lady to get in a spat with a hag

It's not very pleasant to refer to a fellow poster as "smug witch" and "hag".

Mimilamore · 26/07/2025 17:51

Snappy and rude, expect posters who are vulnerable for a whole host of reasons to sort it out, sometimes people need to unpack a problem so they can see it or sometimes a bit of empathy before advice wouldn’t go amiss…

TheGentleButFirmMadonna · 26/07/2025 17:51

NINP · 26/07/2025 14:23

I find it’s a bit of a mixture. I’ve seen some people really not holding back, and also some posters who seem to be seeking to stir up strong opinions. I haven’t seen too much of a change though. Always was a nest of vipers and a bastion of strong supportive women simultaneously.

Like this opinion.

Pennyplant19 · 26/07/2025 17:46

I’m nice! If something annoys/irritates me or if I have nothing helpful to say I scroll past……

Dangermoo · 26/07/2025 17:42

vodkaredbullgirl · 26/07/2025 15:19

The weekly thread 😆 of how mean people are on here.

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More like a thread, competing as to who's been here the longest.

3rdtimeinflorida · 26/07/2025 17:37

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius and a thank you for proving my point!

JohnTheRevelator · 26/07/2025 16:55

I'm nice. 😂

LittleMi55Nobody · 26/07/2025 16:50

you are so right..i had this smug witch giving me a lecture on how she was right and i was wrong..quick google search.Miss know it all was wrong but im to much of a lady to get in a spat with a hag

HollyBough · 26/07/2025 16:37

Literally the first post that I clicked into outside of the Pregnancy board when I joined Mn in 2011 said exactly the same thing.

Personally I think it’s much the same it always was, though the spelling is worse.

HotTiredDog · 26/07/2025 16:35

I’m lovely & always have been, no matter which name I’ve been using over the last 20+ years.
FWIW I think you’re lovely too 🌺

(Love the addition of the Edit button, so I can correct typos!)