Should I have just kept on running

Should I have just kept running

No. You saw something that made you wary, and you took heed of it.

Had you kept running, you'd most likely have been fine. It was probably just a teenager who felt he needed to keep up his own personal style no matter the weather.

But there's a chance it wasn't. So you took the safest option. It's something we do all the time.

There's a level crossing on my route to work. Most days, once the barriers come down I could probably get me andy bike through it with a couple of minutes to spare, but I don't, because I assess the risk and decide it's not worth it.

You did the same. Trust that.

It’s never wrong to trust your gut, our instincts are there to keep us safe…

I know people say trust your gut, but also consider your unconscious bias

When you are conscious that a man's behaviour is making you feel uncomfortable or afraid it's not unconscious bias, it's very conscious. I do not care what your son wears or what his race is, if he caused me to feel uncomfortable I would move away from him as quickly as possible. It's unreasonable to guilt women with an account of his struggles leaving the house, his feelings will never come before my sense of safety.

So no ones allowed to be afraid if someone's foreign? Don't be ridiculous

@ducksinarow123

"I know people say trust your gut, but also consider your unconscious bias"

I feel for you and your son but how is a woman supposed to consider their unconscious bias? How can she determin whether a man is a possible threat or a kind, autistic soul within a few split seconds. A few split seconds that could in fact make the difference between seeing her own children again or being the headline on the morning papers. Her choices are few, especially in a country where violence against women and girls is at an epidemic level.

Look at it this way - what is the worst that would happen with your two options? If you’d carried on, the worst that could have happened is you being attacked, but by turning back, the worst that would happen is that you don’t get your full run. As the first poster said, trust your gut.

Always trust your gut OP.

I have heard The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker is worth a read 📖

You should read The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker. One key take away (in my understanding) is that your gut/subconscious picks up on many signals that your brain doesn't necessarily spot consciously, and that feeling you get that something is off is a warning based on those tiny signals you can't explain. Listen to it, it's there for a reason. You did the right thing.

Same. The man who decided to grab my bum as I walked home from work was foreign. The man who flashed at me was not.

I agree. My distrust of men extends to all races equally.

You did the right thing. Maybe he was completely harmless but why risk it. Ignore anyone who tries to make you feel guilty or like you over reacted. Thank you for warning the dog walker so you could both make decisions about your safety.

It's not unreasonable to be wary of men, partly because they are likely to be physically more powerful than you.

It unreasonable to be more wary of men because you perceive they may be "foreign".

Yes women, risk your safety so you don’t accidentally offend someone 🙄

This makes me so sad as a mum of a bi-racial older teenage boy who you will only ever see out of the house wearing a black coat or hoody with the hood up - even if it’s 30+ degrees. I worry people will automatically look at him and think he’s up to no good and should be afraid and intimidated by him when the reality is he has autism, hates being outside so has his hood up to shut out the world, would much rather be in his room on Roblox and is scared of tiny spiders (honestly would and could not hurt a fly). He's more likely to bore you to death with his monologue of the differences between the Lego Hulk figures in each different set than with any form of violence.
I know people say trust your gut, but also consider your unconscious bias

@ThinWomansBrain

"If someone genuinely thinks that anyone larger, taller them should be prevented from taking a walk because they might pose a threat..."

I don't think anyone on this thread has suggested that. But I do know that if I'm dog walking, or whatever, in a fairly remote place and I see a lone man coming towards me I am momentarily uneasy. I'd like to say that I (along with countless other women) am being utterly irrational. But we're not. There is a reason why women feel this way.

She wrote "There are so many odd people about" then went on, in the same paragraph, to describe an incident where she met a stranger and was intimidated by him. If she didn't think he was odd, she is a confusingly poor writer.

If your gut is telling you something is off, I think it's prudent to heed it. After all, it's that gut instinct that has kept the human race going for this long!

@SriouslyWhutNow so maybe I should just have reported the racist comment made by @dottiedodah ?

If someone genuinely thinks that anyone larger, taller them should be prevented from taking a walk because they might pose a threat, of god forbid they make an inoffensive comment and happen to have a foreign accent, maybe they'd be better off staying home & keeping their racist opinions to herself.

That was a generalisation. She didn't say the man she saw was odd.

In her second sentence. Before the racism.

The "barely concealed" political point came from the poster who brought it up. It's called "barely concealed" racism.

How did you know he was foreign? Bit weird to describe that like it's a scary trait

I would have done the same thing. It was insensitive of whoever it was to be wearing that shitty type ninja uniform wanna be thugs wear. I think those black face coverings should be banned. Why would anyone sane and aimiable hide their face? It’s not ok.
Great job on warning the other woman too. Well done.

@JuliaSaysHi
Very sensible, you've got instincts for a reason, always follow them.
👏 for warning the other lady too.
Never worry about looking silly or offending anyone.
Your safety comes first