Cried at work, feel pathetic and weak

OP, you seem to think your only options are (a) behaving as you did, apologising, crying and asking to be put with someone else or (b) a ‘whatever’ attitude. They really aren’t.

I absolutely get that care work is hard, poorly-paid and often pressured, but if you’re so upset about one minor interaction with this colleague, and if, as you say, you’ve previously left jobs because of colleagues, I think you need to learn to get better at dealing with this kind of situation. Hoping you’re not paired with them again or quitting isn’t really a workable longterm strategy. The only behaviour you can change here is your own.

No, she wasn’t upset about you saying she needed to toughen up, she was upset at you saying she shouldn’t post on the internet about it.

So don’t attempt to backtrack the narrative. We can all read.

we have a new woman at work who is so aggressive and argumentative towards me
i just start to sob,
it makes me feel better so that is how i deal with it

I very nearly cried at work yesterday as well. It was a very hard shift and someone was very rude to me plus various other reasons.

what I’m doing today is meeting my friend for a nice walk and a chat and then I’ll come home and have a meal with my teenagers. It’s on my mind but only in a processing way.

There will always be rude people at work. You can call it out but there will always be rude people/ comments it’s just another one of the challenges of work.

Just try to forget about it today and enjoy your day

I agree with this.

In my long life I have found that when a paper trail is created naming actions and behaviours that are unacceptable, they are suddenly taken far for seriously.

She is a bully who is verbally abusing you for following health and safety guidelines.

You need to get that down in writing.
If you were injured on the job, they would be quick to blame you, remember that.

I feel like the concept of resilience has become a bit of a stick to beat people with, it's taken on the meaning of "put up with everything, don't have an emotional response, don't complain" which is very damaging.

You reacted pretty normally, your co-worker is a bully, and you should definitely raise the issue of being expected to lift an obese patient single handed with your manager - that's against H&S rules and a massive injury risk.

Not U to have been upset and spoken to your manager about your colleague’s behaviour, but it wasn’t a reasonable request not to have to work with her.

I’d briefly and factually email the manager about her tutting, snappy comments, blaming you for a joint mistake and the shouting incident, with dates, and report any further abrasive behaviour towards you or others, in writing, when they happen.

Are you the colleague in question? How judgy and unhelpful 🙄OP is perfectly entitled to a work environment where she is not yelled at, encouraged to do something that will almost certainly injure her, or generally be spoken to like a naughty child.

OP I wouldn't tolerate anyone raising their voice at me in the workplace unless it was essential, eg a situation where someone was in danger. This colleague sounds ghastly. If you don't want to speak to her about it directly then approach whoever is line managing you and ask for someone else to be paired with. Say it's very obvious that Mrs X is finding it too stressful having to train me, her behaviour towards me and indeed some of the clients is not professional and it's making me very uncomfortable. Perhaps she needs more support before training staff.

I've worked with too many people who have bullied new hires, purely because they're new. They will only get away with it if you let them.

Agree with this totally.
OP if you have injured yourself at work make sure you report / log the incident,

Nope, not acceptable. Read up on the health and safety policy and advise her to do the same. Know your policies and point out what they say every single time she makes unreasonable requests/demands.

Keep a note of her behaviour towards you and other people, in particular, clients.

Make a formal complaint if she behaves like this again.

Create a paper trail of her behaviour towards you and clients.

Don't be bullied. Yanbu to find her awful.

Not helpful DidieRi so wind your neck in.

@DidieRi it appears comprehension isn’t one of your strong points either, is it? 😂

She apologised. That’s pretty big.

Now you need to get over it and accept she is sorry. You have no clue what others are dealing with at any given moment

So why didn't you say anything about this to her? I take it that she was not in charge of you, but she acted like she was and you let her. You apologized, although you had nothing to apologize for. She on the other hand had a long list of things she needed to apologize for.

Do you normally let people walk all over you? I am not saying this as an accusation, but if you have a tendency to do this it would be something worth working on, because people like her are everywhere, sadly.

If you think it can be done by a single person ... you feel free to go ahead and do it, I'm not as I beleive it's not health abd safety compliant to do so.

@Tart306 totally ok to “post on the internet” about it, this is why we re here for !

on your OP you can’t really win if you work with a dick, then you work with a dick!

what you can do though, is have your guard up and expect the worse especially from the ones you have a professional formal relationship with. Their dickish attitude won’t catch you by surprise and you ll be ready for either a good comeback or ignoring their pathetic behaviour

you did well either way !

Well that was a completely unreasonable request and is contrary to Health & Safety law and I’m sure is against your company policies. Always say no to requests like that, no matter who is asking. I would report her breach of safety rules to your manager as well. You could seriously injure yourself trying to do that, and possibly the resident as well if you had dropped her.

Well, she is just a grade A stupid fucking bitch, isn't she? You know your limits, and you were doing what you should, respecting them, and protecting both your health and safety, and that of the resident. Sometimes you just don't have it in you to brush off this kind of stupidity, rudeness and hostility, and you must have been on your last nerve after a day of dealing with this kind of person. The work you are doing is hard, physically and mentally, and stressful at the best of times.

I haven't really got any words of wisdom, but a lot of understanding and sympathy. It was something of a running, very darkly humorous joke at one place I worked that we had to book our times for crying in the toilet or stationery room - due to understaffing, overwork, poor work practices and very toxic work colleagues!

😂😂😂 I think this is a perfect example of how different people view things differently. You clearly think you’re making a clear point; I however have no idea what you’re on about but I think it’s an attempt to put me down. Maybe.

So you’re in a caring profession, which makes her behaviour all the more unacceptable and your upset more understandable ♥️
Please raise all of your concerns to management - both how she spoke to you, and to the residents.

Poor OP, I’ve had situations at work which have made me cry; Sometimes it can’t be helped.
Just go on with a fresh start next time and put it behind you.
However if this becomes a regular thing from this colleague do start keeping a record and, if it comes to it, raise a grievance. Get your union involved if you’re a member or possibly ACAS.
Also, I agree with the PP who said that a morbidly obese resident almost certainly needs a hoist. Again, maybe you should research the rules/guidance on this. Possibly contact the Care Quality Commission about it on the grounds that unsafe handling is a risk to staff but also the risk of the resident falling.

Edited for rogue early return key press!