I won’t let anyone take my baby out in the pram without me

What a ridiculous comment. Surely anyone should be sorting out known issues prior to having children. Nothing about being perfect, just the right thing to do. It's so frustrating reading posts where people have anxiety or other issues and then surprise it's even worse once they have kids, oh then surprise the kids end up like that too.

Sounds like you're suffering from postnatal anxiety. I suffered from it too after the birth of my dc although my anxiety was over something different to yours. it was an awful time for me. I'd see your gp and reach out for help op.

Oh to be as perfect as you, how wonderful for you. What a perfect example of a human being you are.

Op, you know this isn't rational thinking as you wouldn't have started the thread.

Your existing anxiety has been heightened by the birth of your baby but you can get better and life will be much easier for you when you do.

I have been there, I got help and now my children are late teens/20's.

Please seek out help and this will eventually just be a distant blip in your life.

And try to ignore the horrible comments on here. These people should count themselves lucky they don't understand anxiety or PND.

Well you should get some help to sort it out before you have children, that's the responsibile thing to do

I suffer from terrible anxiety, my dc are older and fine. Stop trying to guilt trip the op. Anxiety isn't something you can simply switch off ffs.

I think posters need to read the OP's update which is a drip feed really.

Don't try to normalise this behaviour. Why do you think there are all these anxious kids suddenly, where do you think they are picking this up from? This is coming from my sister BTW who is a child psychologist. Do you know think children, including young babies pick up on stress, anxiety, anger etc?

I think you need help with your anxiety as this really isn’t normal.
You cannot control the world OP. At some point, you are going to have to realise this. You can’t ask GP to look after your baby but ban them from taking him out for a walk. Thats just ludicrous. Unless they are walking him through an actual crack den…

I really dislike Mumsnet some times.

Anxious parents breed anxious children. Get some kelp to sort yourself out, your child will be picking up on your anxiety and that unfair and they will end up being anxious themselves

Why is everyone here being so rude and snipey when she clearly has post partum anxiety? A diagnosable mental illness

Calling a new mother irrational, ridiculous or insane is not helping the OP at all. Many of us as young new moms were so watchful and careful, we did crazy stuff because we wanted to protect our newborns. It's a mixture of hormones and inexperience. The OP will probably have a laugh at this thread in a few months.

You need help!

You need to see your doctor and be assessed for possible ppa. Your anxiety is so high it's preventing you from having your family doing normal activities with your baby even when you want them to babysit.

So what are you going to be able to do to protect your baby from a knife wielding junkie that your parents can't do? This is totally irrational.

Agree with this.

(almost) everyone on this thread agrees that your position isn't reasonable OP. If that's down to mental health difficulties then please do reach out to your GP for support with that. But that doesn't change the fact that that it's unreasonable.

My DM cared for my DC1 now and then as a small baby for a few hours here or there when I was unwell or had an appointment. I don't think she would have done it if I'd banned her from taking her out in the pram as she often did this as she found it the easiest way to get her to sleep.

Also, not what you asked but I don't understand why you can't take the baby with you to celebrate your nephew's birthday? And personally if it was something that really was totally impossible to take a baby to (I'm really struggling to imagine such a thing), I wouldnt be asking my mum to have my kids(s) as a baby for that, if it was a nephew off DH's side then he'd just go. I only ever ask for childcare for medical appointments and the like. They're my kids to care for, a nephews party is hardly an emergency requiring childcare.

I don’t know how physically fit you have to be to make bottles, change nappies etc???

Oh now you're being ridiculous.
I know a wheelchair user who had two children. She was perfectly capable of changing nappies and making bottles.

No, you are not being irrational — you're being a protective and responsible mum,

Your baby is only a few months old. That’s a tender, emotionally heightened time. Your instincts are in overdrive — and that’s actually a biological, protective response, not a flaw.

The feelings you have — anxiety about safety, control over your child’s environment, and wariness of certain people or surroundings — are very normal for new mothers. Most health visitors and midwives would validate this as part of the early parenting journey.

You mentioned that you live in an area with real safety concerns — stabbings, drug use, and unpredictable people approaching the pram. That’s not paranoia. That’s lived experience.

It’s entirely reasonable to set firm boundaries when those boundaries are based on actual risks. You’re not asking her to never leave the house — just not to take the baby out into an environment you don’t feel is safe.

You’re also considering your parents’ age and fitness, which is again thoughtful and rooted in realistic limitations — not judgment or overprotection. It’s valid to factor this in when it comes to the physical and mental demands of taking a baby out

Your mum calling you irrational or saying you have deeper issues is unfair and invalidating.

Whether your anxiety is mild or more intense — that doesn’t mean it’s not valid, and certainly doesn’t mean it deserves ridicule.

If someone can’t respect your boundary as a parent, it becomes their issue, not yours.

Your Rule Is Clear and Consistent

You’ve said this from the beginning — it’s not new.

She’s not being asked to do anything unreasonable: just watch her grandson for 3 hours at home, in a comfortable space she already knows.

If you decide to talk again with your mum, you could gently say:

“Mum, I know it might seem overprotective to you, but this is something I feel strongly about for my own peace of mind as a new mum. It’s not about you personally — it’s just a boundary I need to have in place while I adjust to motherhood and until we move to a safer area. I appreciate you helping, but this isn’t something I can bend on right now.”

No, you’re not being irrational. You’re being instinctive, careful, and thoughtful — all qualities that make for a brilliant mum.
You may continue to grow and become more flexible with time, on your terms, when you feel ready — not because someone pushes you.

You are the mum. You get to decide what feels right for your baby.

Absolutely.
I'm 69 and still capable of pushing a pram FGS.

OP you need to see your doctor.

You acknowledge that you have anxiety, now you need to accept that it’s completely irrational. I’d urge you to get help before your child gets any older.

Gently, don't leave your newborn with your mum (or anyone else) if you don't trust her with him. You can't have it both ways - leaving him with your mom because it's convenient, but expecting her not to pick him up from his pram even if the baby becomes distressed.

Until you reign in your new parent anxiety, it'll be better to keep your baby with you without outside help..

You posted asking if you were being irrational. The vast majority of posters are telling you yes, you are being irrational - but apparently that’s not what you wanted to hear.

We can feel sympathy for you because you are obviously suffering from great anxiety, which must be very difficult for you, but that doesn’t alter the fact that you are still being completely irrational and unreasonable.

Sounds like you need to take your baby with you or find other babysitters!

If you don't think your parents are fit enough mentally or physically to change a nappy or prepare a bottle you shouldn't ask them to babysit, you'll need to take your baby with you or find alternative arrangements.