Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Withdrawing my offer AIBU

134 replies

Marmaladelover · 26/07/2025 10:06

No not a house offer . ….
So I belong to a craft group , part of a larger club. We tutor it ourselves , me and a couple of others doing the lions share with maybe a dozen regular members and a few extras. Last month it was my turn again. Tutoring is completely free, members pay a nominal sum for materials only.

One person was booked to join in but on the day was sick , as she had paid for her kit, I gave it to her ( she turned up for it but couldn’t stay ) I was put on the spot but foolishly offered to write up instructions.

Then both my parents became seriously ill and I had to go away and visit in hospital , then look after at home. It was lucky both survived tbh. They are now on the mend. I’ll be visiting again soon when my siblings need to go home.

A few days ago , when just back , I got a reminder from her for the instructions promised. I wrote a line explaining what had happened and I would do it once I was sorted.

Then I got another email saying how “silly” I was to pander to my parents being ill , the implication being I should have used my time more wisely writing up her crappy instructions. I saw red and told her that I had not liked the tone of her email , being called “silly” for prioritising my parents. I withdrew my offer of the instructions. She is now furious, knowing her she will appeal to the club leader. I’m not being UR am I ? Just waiting for even more fallout tbh.

OP posts:
Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 26/07/2025 10:46

Deep breath, OP. Some people get off on winding up other people, don’t give them the oxygen.

Send your club chairperson and the other ‘tutors’ your post, no need to waste any more time rewriting it. Maybe add a note saying this has upset you at a stressful and difficult time.

It will be fine, I promise. Have a cup of tea and maybe even a biscuit. Xxx

FluffykinsTheFerociousFeralFelineFury · 26/07/2025 10:37

What a very rude and unpleasant woman. I doubt that the club leader will have much sympathy for her.

LauraNorda · 26/07/2025 10:31

If anything is said, let the club decide who they want. You or her?

If they choose her, find a better club.

What a bitch.

Iloveacurry · 26/07/2025 10:28

Let her complain. You’ve got her email suggesting you were silly, which you can forward on to the club leader!

Ammina · 26/07/2025 10:27

No good deed goes unpunished.

Yes bring it up with the organiser. Perhaps someone else could step in and help her. See one, do one, teach one.

ThejoyofNC · 26/07/2025 10:24

You owe her nothing OP. She's an insensitive and rude cow and I wouldn't spend a second of my time helping her, especially not for free.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 26/07/2025 10:24

Christ, how entitled and rude are some people?
I'd do as suggested above though and make the club aware yourself, I would imagine they'll feel similarly to you.

Vaxtable · 26/07/2025 10:10

I would get in first. Contact the club leader explain what’s happened and ask then to ask one of the others who attended to give instructions to this woman

CopperWhite · 26/07/2025 10:08

Let her complain. The group needs you as a tutor more than it needs her as a demanding and unsupportive member.

Swipe left for the next trending thread