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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I losing perspective on these jobs offers? I don’t know what to do and running out of time!

115 replies

Linset · 26/07/2025 08:08

I’ve been offered two jobs.

One has take home pay of 4,100 a month. Work from home whenever you want, with office presence every so often when you decide to do so.

Other is take home pay of 4,350 and opportunity for a bonus with health insurance on top. Office presence needed 4 times a week, sometimes 3 times depending on what’s on.

I am a single parent and do get maintenance of around 1k a month. DD is is nursery but has some free hours now so the bill is around 500 a month.

I don’t know which role to take. The nursery is on the way to the second job but the traffic is horrendous. I’d also feel stressed coming back from the office to be there on time for her as I am the only person who does nursery drop off and pick up (that isn't going to change).

I am conflicted as I feel silly not going for the better paid role but also the idea of having a commute on top of everything else I have to manage seems overwhelming. But am I letting myself down? I don’t know. I’m 39, not sure if relevant.

OP posts:
Wadadli · 26/07/2025 08:25

Linset · 26/07/2025 08:19

@Wadadli the higher paid one also has a bonus and health insurance. The commuting costs aren’t really a thing as me driving home is the same as continuing on to the office.

Show quote history

I understand why you’re torn but I would detest having to return to the office four days a week

Brightasarainbow · 26/07/2025 08:24

Also remember that DD won't be in nursery forever - if you can manage your own diary, wfh will be a big bonus when it comes to school and the millions of in-school events.

Original poster
Linset · 26/07/2025 08:23

@BCBird they are finance related roles

OP posts:
BCBird · 26/07/2025 08:21

What is the job? Intrigued. Even after working for 31 years in so called ' profession " was not earning that.

Original poster
Linset · 26/07/2025 08:19

Wadadli · 26/07/2025 08:18

Job 1 ✅

Surely the lack of commuter stress and minimal travel time/costs is more than worth the 250 difference in salary?

Show quote history

@Wadadli the higher paid one also has a bonus and health insurance. The commuting costs aren’t really a thing as me driving home is the same as continuing on to the office.

OP posts:
Wadadli · 26/07/2025 08:18

Linset · 26/07/2025 08:08

I’ve been offered two jobs.

One has take home pay of 4,100 a month. Work from home whenever you want, with office presence every so often when you decide to do so.

Other is take home pay of 4,350 and opportunity for a bonus with health insurance on top. Office presence needed 4 times a week, sometimes 3 times depending on what’s on.

I am a single parent and do get maintenance of around 1k a month. DD is is nursery but has some free hours now so the bill is around 500 a month.

I don’t know which role to take. The nursery is on the way to the second job but the traffic is horrendous. I’d also feel stressed coming back from the office to be there on time for her as I am the only person who does nursery drop off and pick up (that isn't going to change).

I am conflicted as I feel silly not going for the better paid role but also the idea of having a commute on top of everything else I have to manage seems overwhelming. But am I letting myself down? I don’t know. I’m 39, not sure if relevant.

Job 1 ✅

Surely the lack of commuter stress and minimal travel time/costs is more than worth the 250 difference in salary?

Original poster
Linset · 26/07/2025 08:15

Thanks everyone! I was a bit anxious that the lower paid one has no health insurance etc and no bonus.

The commuting costs are a bit of a non thing as by the time I’ve driven home again to work, I would have got to the office of the second job!

I feel like the lower paid one is more relaxed but that also makes me feel I’m giving up a bit on my career.

OP posts:
Handmethegunandaskmeagain · 26/07/2025 08:14

Job 1 is what I’d pick. The flexibility of that role outweighs the pay difference, and you’d likely pay the difference in commuting.

MuffinsAreJustCakesAtBreakfast · 26/07/2025 08:12

Also, there's not way of telling if you took the first one and got pay rises in the next couple of years making up the difference vs. taking the second one but getting no rises...ending up on the same salary but having having to commute

Zempy · 26/07/2025 08:12

Definitely take the lower paid job

2chocolateoranges · 26/07/2025 08:12

I’d go for option 1 a take home pay of 4100 is brilliant and the other job sounds more hassle, more stressful and pre demanding, not something you need when you have small children.

take the job that makes you and your children life easier. There’s always time to get a better paid job when the children are older but for an extra 250 a month but lots of demands etc I’d take option 1.

MuffinsAreJustCakesAtBreakfast · 26/07/2025 08:11

I'd take the first one (assuming the work arrangements are part of the contract.)

you cannot put a price on wfh imo, and I'd sacrifice for it.

Titasaducksarse · 26/07/2025 08:11

Job 1 as long as you can pay all your bills and don't need that extra £250 a month. Mind you, additional fuel costs and things like lunches will soon see the increase not be that much...

peepsypops · 26/07/2025 08:10

I would definitely go for the first one. The stress is not worth the extra money! It’s still a great salary and your take home including maintenance is very good. You can tell from your question already that role 2 would stress you too much.

littlemissprosseco · 26/07/2025 08:10

Surely it would cost you that in travel?
Not adding in time and stress