Am I losing perspective on these jobs offers? I don’t know what to do and running out of time!

1st one. Still well paid and the wfh would take the pressure off. Ultimately up to you but as a parent I’d say job 1

I would use offer two as a point of negotiation. It will cost them barely anything to add you to the company health insurance policy, if that's your main concern. Likewise it won't cost you much to buy it yourself if they do say no.

Think on the roles over the the medium term too.
Is one a bigger company with a greater chance of further progression in a few years time? Is one company less likely to tolerate a recession? What's your bosses boss like? Pension contributions the same?
Commuting is a ball ache but worth it if other things on the list above are ticked ..

Flip a coin. Heads job 1, tails job 2.

The actual way it lands doesn't matter, but as you flip it you'll suddenly decide which way you want it to land and that's your answer

I don’t think role 1 is a ‘no brainer’ better choice if the ‘commute’ to job 2 isn’t actually a commute and job 2 has better content/progression opportunities.

What kind of ‘flexibility’ do posters mean? Organisations have different policies on things like time off or working from home for unwell or off school DC. For example an organisation fine with mostly home-working might not be fine with doing that whilst in sole charge of a small DC.

Future-proof yourself in that working from home and a child in school is worth its weight in gold! Especially if you can nip out and let TV babysit whilst you carry on working.

As soon as illness or staggered collection times comes into play, it’s game over when you’re tied to the office.

You can always find another job in a few years time that will give you more moolah/prospects.

My advice would be to tread water for a bit. You have no idea how annoying the school day timings are!

Role 1. I say this because once school starts the wfh is even more valuable - school hours are a PITA compared to nursery.

Because obviously the health insurance may be more of an issue elsewhere.

I’ve just been in a similar situation and took the option of working from home over the extra pay. I don’t regret it. Flexibility is invaluable when you are solo parenting young children.

Well done for being in this position to choose. It’s not easy balancing a career and being solo with a young child. Hope you give yourself credit for all you do!

Oh thanks. I always wonder when.i .see salaries like this.

I'm assuming you live in the UK?

It's a no-brainer: the first one. Why on earth do you think you'd be letting yourself down?

Absolutely the first one. Congratulations on two offers, and take it as an indication that you're good at your job, will continue to be so, and will have options in the future if you decide to explore them. Right now more and less stressful time sounds way more valuable than the extra money. It's rare for a single parent to be able to earn good money (which both roles are) and flex their time as they need to, grab it while you can!

So it seems that for job 2 it’s not really adding a ‘commute’ if the cost/time to return home to work after dropping DD at nursery is similar to the cost/time to get to the office for job 2. Does the traffic you mention add much time/cost?

Will the location for DD be similar when DD goes to school?

Are you in the UK? No brainer if you live anywhere that needs paid health insurance.

I would actually choose based on the role & company as well as whether you are comfortable with working from home and lack of direct interactions, learning a new job, building a network, learning how things work in a new company all remotely. If you are more money, easier life, happy days.

Speak to job 1 and tell them you’re considering a higher offer and ask if they will match it. There’s a good chance they will and nothing to lose.

Job 1 makes so much more sense too me. Don't underestimate how shit a commute can be 8 times a week (travelling there and returning home).

Role 1

OP I'd look at finding out more about the company culture and how they view the whole work-family dynamic too, particularly for a finance based role.

Also, there's no way I'd compromise on wfh a few days a week with a family and having kids in school (eventually in your case).
I'd rather change jobs than be back in the office 4 days a week and lose out on 2h every weekday of seeing my kids (2h per day lost to commuting).

Your posts imply that job 2 is better in terms of job content and career wise? How much better?

Private health insurance is great, especially if it covers your DC, but a requirement to attend the office that often is a pain when you have a small DC, are single and it sounds like you do all weekday parenting.

Foe job 2 how much time does the average drive there/back take? Would also calculate the likely costs.

Are the flexible conditions in job 1 likely to stay that way?

1st one. Your child is in nursery now but it becomes a pain the arse when school starts and you have to factor in staggered start days/breakfast club/afterschool club/school events etc

I’d do the higher paid one as I’d find wfh isolating. I’d make sure I left the office on time so there wasn’t stress and that team I’m working with know that’s non negotiable. Great position to be in by the way - congrats on the offers!

How much potential bonus are we talking and how likely is it? How’s your health?

I think you have to take a more strategic view. Sounds like Job 1 is the 'good for now' option. Will taking Job 1 limit you in the future? I mean you already bagged Job 2, which suggests a strong possibility that you can repeat this success once kiddo is more independent. Perhaps Job 1 for 3 years and then move on to something like Job 2.

We all have a tendency to think opportunities are going to disappear if we don't grab them right away. We're generally mistaken in this view. It could well be that you perform better in Job 1 than you would in Job 2 (because you'll be less hassled), setting you up for an as yet unknown Job 3 that could exceed the opportunities currently offered by Job 2.

Job 1. Lack of stress is worth an awful lot.