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Furious at DH and his friend bringing someone back to our house

421 replies

TiredSaturdayy · 26/07/2025 07:54

My DH’s friend is staying for the weekend. He lives about 4 hours away and they only see each other once a year. This is perfectly fine with me as I usually get on well with him.

Last night, they both went out into town to catch up. DH got into bed about 1am, I sleep lightly so was woken but soon got to sleep. His friend is staying in our spare bedroom.

I am woken by noises shortly after. I wake DH and ask if he can hear them. He says there’s something he needs to tell me and that his friend met a women in the last bar they were in and INVITED HER HOME! So the noises were infact them ‘at it’ in my spare bedroom.

I go ballistic at DH and ask why he thought this was acceptable. Our DC is away this weekend which is beyond the point. Completely irresponsible to allow a stranger into our house in those circumstances.

I tell DH that if he doesn’t ask her to leave then I will. He says he’ll message his friend. No reply. He’s about to get up and knock on the door when we hear it open and his friend sees her out and she eventually leaves.

DH is asleep still now, I am downstairs absolutely aghast at their behaviour. If he thinks I am sorting out the fry up they kept on about before they went out then they’ve another thing coming.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
RedRec · 26/07/2025 12:04

SharpLily · 26/07/2025 12:02

Don't you mean the 'thinging' process?

🤣

RampantIvy · 26/07/2025 12:03

That's all very well, but there certainly wasn't enthusiastic consent from the op for a friend of her dh and a random woman to shag in her house, in the room next door

Don't worry @maudelovesharold I'm team OP here. I don't understand why some posters don't think it is rude for a guest to have an overnight visitor without the consent of both the hosts. It is rude, regardless of whether she was there for night time activities or just a cup of tea.

SharpLily · 26/07/2025 12:02

Anchorage56 · 26/07/2025 08:23

And the thinking process of a woman going back to a house with two men she doesnt know?

Don't you mean the 'thinging' process?

somelondonchick · 26/07/2025 12:00

Honestly, I wouldn’t care. The kids were not there. He was in the guest room. He is a grown man. Good for him! Who is getting hurt? I don’t understand what you are so upset about.

Fifiesta · 26/07/2025 12:00

Moveoverdarlin · 26/07/2025 08:41

Bringing back a random to a mate’s family home when you’re in your 40s is really disrespectful and I’d tell him that.

100%!!
Massive cf behaviour, astonished with the minority that think it is ok and chill.

Bonk on your own turf and it remains YOUR business and choice…

Bink666 · 26/07/2025 11:56

soupyspoon · 26/07/2025 11:21

No, they're not accepted and not fine. Its wrong!!

When I hear people say 'another thing coming' I know they're not well versed or knowledgeable and if they argue until they're blue in the face about it, despite it being explained why its 'think' and why that makes logical sense and 'thing' does not make logical sense, I know they're not very smart.

Ha ha 🤣

AnSolas · 26/07/2025 11:56

LimpysGotCancer · 26/07/2025 11:31

These are all good reasons for a woman not to go back to a house with two strange men.

But it doesn't follow that the men are being disrespectful in agreeing for her to come back, in a situation where i) they don't intend to act this way (and indeed don't), and ii) she enthusiastically consents.

You are making a massive and quite basic logical error

The OPs husband and his non-local friend were drinking with a woman took that local likely drunk woman home from a local which has other locals watch them toddle their 3 drunk selves off home.

What happens if she is drunk and makes a police report the next morning or just speaks to her friends about what happened and they have an opinion.

Houseofpainjumparound · 26/07/2025 11:50

I assume he was in a spare room and not using one of your DC beds...

Assume friend is stripping and washing the sheets for you too?,

RedRec · 26/07/2025 11:49

Just opened this thread and knew that when I flipped it to the end it would have descended into an argument about think/thing coming.
It is think. Anyone with half a brain knows that.

LBFseBrom · 26/07/2025 11:49

BunnyLake · 26/07/2025 11:40

Well we’re all different are we. I would feel the same as OP.

So would I. People just should not behave like that in friends' homes, it is disrespectful. They could have gone to her place or even got a room somewhere.

Teenagers sometimes sneak about in that way but this pair are in their forties. They should have known better and the op's husband could have refused.

Now the friend is feeling sheepish, serves him right.

soupyspoon · 26/07/2025 11:47

XiCi · 26/07/2025 11:45

Oh please. Anyone that judges whether someone is smart or knowledgeable based on the fact they use what has become a well known phrase, especially when that phrase is more widely used than the original, is a complete idiot.

Edited

Well you've got another think coming about that

isolate34 · 26/07/2025 11:46

bingobanjo · 26/07/2025 11:05

If I heard the next morning that a woman had been all over the friend but DH had said she couldn’t come back, I’d be annoyed with him about that! Everyone’s having fun and I’d enjoy the gossip the next day.

I must be up tight because I just don't get this at all 😂 you'd actually be annoyed at someone not having a one night stand at your house, cheating on their on/off partner etc at the age of 40 odd in your family home.

XiCi · 26/07/2025 11:45

soupyspoon · 26/07/2025 11:21

No, they're not accepted and not fine. Its wrong!!

When I hear people say 'another thing coming' I know they're not well versed or knowledgeable and if they argue until they're blue in the face about it, despite it being explained why its 'think' and why that makes logical sense and 'thing' does not make logical sense, I know they're not very smart.

Oh please. Anyone that judges whether someone is smart or knowledgeable based on the fact they use what has become a well known phrase, especially when that phrase is more widely used than the original, is a complete idiot.

bingobanjo · 26/07/2025 11:44

NeelyOHara · 26/07/2025 11:38

Even if they had an on/off partner, and they woke you up in the night by shagging so loudly in the next room?
#bantz

Yes. What he chooses to do is his business. If I went out with one of my own friends and they hit it off with someone and wanted to hook up, I’d be completely fine with that - even if I heard a noise on a Friday night, the horror! Why would I feel any differently because it’s my husband and his friend instead of me and mine?

EggnogNoggin · 26/07/2025 11:42

RubySquid · 26/07/2025 08:42

Why would that be an issue?

Why would want be an issue? My husband going out with a friend who was actively on the pull and found another woman out with single friends?

Obviously it's not cheating but it's not how my husband would spend his time when he could be either out chatting to his mate that he hasnt seen or home with his family rather than women out on the pull (and don't berate me for that phrase, I know not all women out together are on the pull but some are - I have been a single woman out with my single friends and we were out on the pull, so let's not pretend it doesn't happen for the sake of political correctness)

VictoriaJ56 · 26/07/2025 11:42

TiredSaturdayy · 26/07/2025 09:30

Well they have both woken and it’s fair to say DH’s friend is very sheepish. He was immediately apologetic.

The woman was ‘insistent’ apparently and the drink took over. I am assured it won’t happen again.

He has an on/off partner so seems a bit guilty - he says they are currently ‘off’ but from his reaction I’m not convinced.

I’ve left them in the living room to stew.

Gets worse, OP. Are you going to tell the partner? Terrible that she is with such a loser.

NeelyOHara · 26/07/2025 11:41

Two grown adults need to get a hotel if there was some reason that they couldn’t go back to hers.
Skanks.

BunnyLake · 26/07/2025 11:40

Growlybear83 · 26/07/2025 11:36

But it’s the OP’s husband’s home too and he has just as much say in who stays as she does. He agreed that his friend could bring the woman back.

Well we’re all different are we. I would feel the same as OP.

BunnyLake · 26/07/2025 11:39

CaptainMyCaptain · 26/07/2025 09:59

That makes no sense.

If you THINK [xxxx] then you've got another THINK coming. That makes sense.

If you THINK [xxxx] then you've got another THING coming. That makes no sense. What kind of Thing is coming?

The ‘thing’ coming is a thought 😁 but you can’t argue with illogical people 🫤

NeelyOHara · 26/07/2025 11:38

bingobanjo · 26/07/2025 11:05

If I heard the next morning that a woman had been all over the friend but DH had said she couldn’t come back, I’d be annoyed with him about that! Everyone’s having fun and I’d enjoy the gossip the next day.

Even if they had an on/off partner, and they woke you up in the night by shagging so loudly in the next room?
#bantz

Growlybear83 · 26/07/2025 11:36

BunnyLake · 26/07/2025 11:34

Even my sons let me know when their gf’s are staying over and this is their home. It’s called respect.

But it’s the OP’s husband’s home too and he has just as much say in who stays as she does. He agreed that his friend could bring the woman back.

ManteesRock · 26/07/2025 11:34

CinnamonJellyBeans · 26/07/2025 09:59

You should be aware that your husband was on the pull with his friend. The woman was definitely out with a female friend or group of women. This was no passing conversation involving the woman and the male friend

You should not be kicking out a lone female who is possibly drunk or under the influence of drugs into the night. I find her apparent willingness to go home with a random pair of men a red flag for reduced cognitive ability. You should have intervened and ascertained her ability to consent. Then if you understandably did not want your home used as a knocking shop, ensured your husband's friend delivered her home.

I would be looking at my husband with fresh eyes if I were you. It sounds like he's reverting to type.

FFS! Just because a woman wants some no strings attached sex it doesn't automatically mean she's under the influence of anything!
It means she wants sex!

BunnyLake · 26/07/2025 11:34

Even my sons let me know when their gf’s are staying over and this is their home. It’s called respect.

AnSolas · 26/07/2025 11:33

CaptainMyCaptain · 26/07/2025 09:59

That makes no sense.

If you THINK [xxxx] then you've got another THINK coming. That makes sense.

If you THINK [xxxx] then you've got another THING coming. That makes no sense. What kind of Thing is coming?

So may options

Wooden spoon
Smack to the back of the head
Slipper
....

https://youtube.com/shorts/rAvzIso-lwM?si=F0Y5GFENPl0Xp6X1

🤷‍♀️

Before you continue to YouTube

https://youtube.com/shorts/rAvzIso-lwM?si=F0Y5GFENPl0Xp6X1

LimpysGotCancer · 26/07/2025 11:31

AnSolas · 26/07/2025 08:44

Married man and his friend bringing a woman home from a local(ish) pickup joint Pub.

And catchups will usually be in places the local knows

And Rape

The woman agrees to have sex with A not B.

She goes to a different location with A and B.

A then B have sex with her.

During the trial the woman has to

• prove that she agreed to have sex with A

• prove that she agreed to have sex with A but told B that she would not have sex with him

• prove that going to the location was not in any way suggestion that she was open to having sex with B

• prove that going to the location was not in any way suggestion that she would be open to having sex with B after she got to the location

• prove that going to the location was not in any way suggestion that she had been open to having sex with B after she got to the location

(And the reverse is true for the men so high risk choice )

These are all good reasons for a woman not to go back to a house with two strange men.

But it doesn't follow that the men are being disrespectful in agreeing for her to come back, in a situation where i) they don't intend to act this way (and indeed don't), and ii) she enthusiastically consents.

You are making a massive and quite basic logical error