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Original poster

Furious at DH and his friend bringing someone back to our house

421 replies

TiredSaturdayy · 26/07/2025 07:54

My DH’s friend is staying for the weekend. He lives about 4 hours away and they only see each other once a year. This is perfectly fine with me as I usually get on well with him.

Last night, they both went out into town to catch up. DH got into bed about 1am, I sleep lightly so was woken but soon got to sleep. His friend is staying in our spare bedroom.

I am woken by noises shortly after. I wake DH and ask if he can hear them. He says there’s something he needs to tell me and that his friend met a women in the last bar they were in and INVITED HER HOME! So the noises were infact them ‘at it’ in my spare bedroom.

I go ballistic at DH and ask why he thought this was acceptable. Our DC is away this weekend which is beyond the point. Completely irresponsible to allow a stranger into our house in those circumstances.

I tell DH that if he doesn’t ask her to leave then I will. He says he’ll message his friend. No reply. He’s about to get up and knock on the door when we hear it open and his friend sees her out and she eventually leaves.

DH is asleep still now, I am downstairs absolutely aghast at their behaviour. If he thinks I am sorting out the fry up they kept on about before they went out then they’ve another thing coming.

OP posts:
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CaptainMyCaptain · 26/07/2025 11:00

Elsvieta · 26/07/2025 10:18

So the lodger wasn't allowed a personal life? I mean, it's different when the person lives there, surely?

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I had a female lodger when my daughter was small this was in my t and c's from the start. She could take it or leave it.

RampantIvy · 26/07/2025 10:55

VickyEadieofThigh · 26/07/2025 10:53

Oh, I'm judging her as well! But the OP is angry with her DH and his friend and if I were her, I'd be giving them short shrift about treating anybwoman like that.

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I'd be giving them short shrift about treating anybwoman like that.

I think there was enthusiastic consent on her part from what we have read on here.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 26/07/2025 10:55

Both think and thing can be used, either is accepted and fine.

think is the original saying and thing has become the more commonly used one.

Isittimeformynapyet · 26/07/2025 10:54

AnSolas · 26/07/2025 08:44

Married man and his friend bringing a woman home from a local(ish) pickup joint Pub.

And catchups will usually be in places the local knows

And Rape

The woman agrees to have sex with A not B.

She goes to a different location with A and B.

A then B have sex with her.

During the trial the woman has to

• prove that she agreed to have sex with A

• prove that she agreed to have sex with A but told B that she would not have sex with him

• prove that going to the location was not in any way suggestion that she was open to having sex with B

• prove that going to the location was not in any way suggestion that she would be open to having sex with B after she got to the location

• prove that going to the location was not in any way suggestion that she had been open to having sex with B after she got to the location

(And the reverse is true for the men so high risk choice )

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I'm sure @Pennyforyourthoughtsplease was just asking what's wrong with two adults meeting at a public venue and mutually deciding to have a one night stand.

If someone asked you what time the bus comes would you talk them through a terrible bus crash?

CrackOfYawn · 26/07/2025 10:54

Team Think

Think Winnie The Pooh GIF
VickyEadieofThigh · 26/07/2025 10:53

Anchorage56 · 26/07/2025 08:23

And the thinking process of a woman going back to a house with two men she doesnt know?

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Oh, I'm judging her as well! But the OP is angry with her DH and his friend and if I were her, I'd be giving them short shrift about treating anybwoman like that.

chipsewfast · 26/07/2025 10:52

It's disrespectful on behalf of all 3 of them. I would be fuming too. Make him put his own sheets in the wash. The twat.

Trendyname · 26/07/2025 10:49

Coconutter24 · 26/07/2025 10:43

That’s cos people say it wrong. It’s think

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Another think coming = think again = you are wrong, reconsider.

Emmz1510 · 26/07/2025 10:49

Absolutely grim OP. I’d go apeshit

Trendyname · 26/07/2025 10:46

tripleginandtonic · 26/07/2025 08:38

Me too. They're all adults, no kids in the house.

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And then washing their used sheets?

ThatsCute · 26/07/2025 10:45

My appetite for risk in regards to guests inviting randoms into my home is different now that I’m old enough to have nice things (nice handbags, jewellery, car keys in the kitchen), versus when I was a poor 20-something living in a dump.

ManteesRock · 26/07/2025 10:44

VickyEadieofThigh · 26/07/2025 08:10

I think it's massively disrespectful by the friend and your DH. I'm also wondering about the thinking process of 2 men bringing a woman who doesn't know them back to a strange house - I'd like to think that men are better than this but, here we are.

Yeah obviously it's only the fault of the men! Presumably this man didn't rape the woman so why only hate on the man? Men wouldn't be able to take a woman home for a ONS if women didn't also engage in that behaviour!

Trendyname · 26/07/2025 10:44

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 26/07/2025 08:32

Thanks for clarifying. Tbh if you think someone is going to rob you I don't think you should be having sex with them, but maybe I have a higher bar 😆

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How op is supposed to know the said woman is going to nick something or not. I think op has a higher bar.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 26/07/2025 10:44

I would pin a note to the fridge- clean up after themselves and say DH's mate is to be gone by the time I get back. Then take myself out for the day. Let him d Al with it. If the friend is still there when you get back they can both leave.

Coconutter24 · 26/07/2025 10:43

XiCi · 26/07/2025 09:37

Nope. Look it up. Im 54 and have never heard 'think' .

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That’s cos people say it wrong. It’s think

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 26/07/2025 10:43

CaptainMyCaptain · 26/07/2025 09:43

Yes.

'If you think you're doing that you've got another THINK coming'. My Mum used to say it all the time - 50s/60s childhood.

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Yes, why would it be anything but another think, as in, "think again” or “think twice”? No things were harmed in the formation of this phrase.

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 26/07/2025 10:42

Crikeyisthatthetime · 26/07/2025 10:19

https://www.merriam-webster.com/grammar/usage-another-think-coming-or-another-thing-coming#:~:text=It%20probably%20originated%20in%20speech,suspiciously%20like%20%22thing%20coming.%22
Webster's dictionary
It's the exact opposite of what that poster thinks. Originated as think. Travelled to USA where it it got misheard as thing. That's the eggcorn. So it's used differently on each side of the Atlantic.
Being on the originating side , Think is what I've always heard said.

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I always thought it was thing until recently, but think does make more sense. When you think about it 😆

RampantIvy · 26/07/2025 10:38

EastGrinstead · 26/07/2025 09:58

This.

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Hard disagree. It's the OP's house as well. Neither DH nor I would offer hospitality to someone if the other wasn't happy about it.

Growlybear83 · 26/07/2025 10:37

tripleginandtonic · 26/07/2025 08:38

Me too. They're all adults, no kids in the house.

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I agree. Some of the responses in this thread are so over the top that they’re quite funny.

TellingBone · 26/07/2025 10:37

FluffykinsTheFerociousFeralFelineFury · 26/07/2025 09:36

Wrong. 'Think' in the second half of the phrase relates back to 'think' in the first half. "Thing' would not make any sense at all in this context.

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It's the THING! It's COMING! 😂

Smash Fantastic Four GIF by Xbox
TheVeronicas · 26/07/2025 10:35

PuppyMonkey · 26/07/2025 08:25

Another THINK coming.

*runs off

It's the only thing (ha) I've retained about the whole post.

nomas · 26/07/2025 10:35

TiredSaturdayy · 26/07/2025 09:39

Just to add, I managed to eek out the circumstances by asking if they were both on the pull.

DH saw one of the mums from our DC’s football team and said hello. With her, was her friend (the woman his friend took him). They got along like a ‘house on fire’ and one thing lead to another.

So that’s going to be an awkward catch up when I next see her on the touchline!

Did you make the fry-up?

Jaws2025 · 26/07/2025 10:34

MumWifeOther · 26/07/2025 10:29

Never in my life have I heard “think” coming? Is it a regional variation?

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Here's a Guardian article about it. You're definitely not alone using "thing", but think was the original usage
www.theguardian.com/media/mind-your-language/2014/nov/18/mind-your-language-another-think#:~:text=But%20surely%20to%20think%20something,fist%20in%20an%20idiot's%20face.”

PuppyMonkey · 26/07/2025 10:34

This is from Vocabulary.com, which explains it quite well.

another think coming" vs. "another thing coming"
If you think you know this idiom, you have another think coming!
Rather than being a freestanding phrase, another think coming is really the conclusion of a longer colloquial expression about being sorely mistaken, as in "If she thinks she's going to be allowed to stay out past her curfew, she's got another think coming." That first "If she thinks…" clause is essential for the "another think" part to make sense.
These examples show how the repetition of think sets up a cause and effect, what programmers would call an "if-then" statement:
If she'd thought she was going to be asked to sit down, she had another think coming. (A Long Way from Chicago)
Similarly, if any bright spark in the Treasury thinks that the last budget flopped because of poor presentation, they've got another think coming. (The Guardian)
Another thing coming is a case of mishearing becoming misspelling, and it's easy to understand why if you say another think coming out loud. Thing is a useful word, but its flexibility is a liability here — it could refer to almost anything. In the examples below, what thing do they have coming? A picnic? A rhinoceros? A bad case of chickenpox? The word thing is too vague for the reader to tell.
If he thinks I'm going to sit around crying over him, he's got another thing coming. (The Girl on the Train)
If European leaders were expecting him to be humbled, they had another thing coming. (New York Times)
Think is often used as a noun in Britain, where this expression originated. You'll hear people say, "I had a good think this morning," for example. The confusion of think with thing is largely an American phenomenon, because speakers of American English rarely use think as a noun. But the beauty of another think coming is its implication of deep contemplation: you may have given the subject some thought, but you reached the incorrect conclusion and need to think about it some more. It's a more interesting way of saying, "You're wrong about that, and you should reconsider."

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