TLDR: Offered a much more senior role with 50 percent more pay, but it’s three hours away and would mean staying over two nights a week and giving up my current lifestyle. Can’t relocate because of my wife’s job. Tempted but leaning no. AIBU?
Hi. I’m in a senior role and earn a good salary that lets me live comfortably. I don’t care for luxury though. I’m happiest spending time with my pet and reading a good book. I currently work from home. So the dilemma is that I’ve been approached by another company in the same industry for a more senior role. Think a step up from associate director to senior director, with around 50 percent more total compensation. On paper, it sounds quite exciting but the catch is that the role requires 3 days/week in the office, and that’s non negotiable. The office is three hours away and I can’t really relocate with my wife (I’m a woman) because she works locally and moving just isn’t an option for her for the next several years. So I’d have to travel weekly and likely stay over two nights, plus start really early on the first day to be in the office for 9 am. I would miss my pet. I also have a hobby/sport I do twice a week plus every other weekend that would probably have to go, or at least be scaled back a lot. Eg because weekend would get eaten up by recovery and prep, I couldn’t go to games away etc.
So AIBU to turn it down? It’s probably great for my career, but realistically the cost of travel and hotels would eat into the extra money, at least for a while. My wife says she’s happy for me to move there for a couple of years by myself if I really want to take it and that we make it work, but I’m just not sure it’s worth the personal cost. TIA
Edited to add I’m 38.