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Original poster

Sad about wedding

233 replies

Anonymous2029 · 25/07/2025 20:12

I’m getting married next week, a registry office. My partner lost his wife 6 years

We have to get married for various legal reasons. I adore my partner and I want to be his wife but I’m feeling so sad about the day (or rather the 10 minute ceremony)

i just feel so sad that his first wife isn’t here and she’s not getting to raise her child. We are having the simplest of vows, no rings. I don’t have a dress, not even a normal dress - I don’t really know what to wear, I was planning on jeans and tshirt.

Our parents are coming because we need witnesses but that’s all.

Ive not planned any music or anything. Everytime I think about the day I just feel overwhelmingly sad and want to just get it over with.

Will I regret it being so sad and simple? I just can’t shake the feeling and get excited

OP posts:
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MarxistMags · 09/08/2025 02:00

I hope the wedding day went perfectly for you.
Wishing you many happy years together. X

Batherssss · 04/08/2025 10:05

So glad you are going to make it special for yourself. That dress is absolutely stunning.

How lucky he is to have found you, as is your step daughter.
Your union is going to be so blessed.

deeahgwitch · 04/08/2025 09:51

I too wondered why you “……… have to get married for various legal reasons…. “ @Anonymous2029

OneNewLeader · 03/08/2025 15:46

I’m struck by the ‘legal reasons’ aspect of this. Your feelings for a young women who couldn’t be around for her children does you credit. But this day is about your future as a wife, not history.

What will you regret? The lack of ceremony or the lack of occasion?

ApolloandDaphne · 03/08/2025 15:40

That dress is fabulous. I agree that dresses in the lilac purple colour would be lovely or cream dresses with contrasting sashes.

Lotsofsnacks · 03/08/2025 15:04

Lotsofsnacks · 03/08/2025 15:00

It’s very sad his wife passed but this is YOUR life. FFS celebrate your wedding day, of course it doesn’t have to cost lots or be a big do, but, god please try to love the day and be happy!!!! You we we ‘have’ to get married, why? Are u not marrying the love of your life, for love? Is your husband to be always sad and mentioning his ex wife and not keen on having a lovely wedding day with you??

Show quote history

I see you’re marrying for the child, respect to you ❤️ but please enjoy it for you

Lotsofsnacks · 03/08/2025 15:00

Anonymous2029 · 25/07/2025 20:12

I’m getting married next week, a registry office. My partner lost his wife 6 years

We have to get married for various legal reasons. I adore my partner and I want to be his wife but I’m feeling so sad about the day (or rather the 10 minute ceremony)

i just feel so sad that his first wife isn’t here and she’s not getting to raise her child. We are having the simplest of vows, no rings. I don’t have a dress, not even a normal dress - I don’t really know what to wear, I was planning on jeans and tshirt.

Our parents are coming because we need witnesses but that’s all.

Ive not planned any music or anything. Everytime I think about the day I just feel overwhelmingly sad and want to just get it over with.

Will I regret it being so sad and simple? I just can’t shake the feeling and get excited

It’s very sad his wife passed but this is YOUR life. FFS celebrate your wedding day, of course it doesn’t have to cost lots or be a big do, but, god please try to love the day and be happy!!!! You we we ‘have’ to get married, why? Are u not marrying the love of your life, for love? Is your husband to be always sad and mentioning his ex wife and not keen on having a lovely wedding day with you??

AirborneElephant · 03/08/2025 14:22

Beautiful dress, and well done for reframing the day 💕. https://www.johnlewis.com/monsoon-kids-floral-print-flutter-sleeve-dress-lilac/p113402652 This would be beautiful for the 8 year old and is on offer and available for Monday click and collect. When is the wedding?

Piknik · 03/08/2025 13:38

Spindrifts · 03/08/2025 13:26

You could make a bit of an effort no matter how small, for everyone involved. At least look smart, do your hair nicely and have some celebration, even if it is a bought cake and some prosecco back at yours. What a miserable way to start this new stage of your life? Do you love your husband? Are you a happy step mom and the child happy? Then, make that effort, include the child by them wearing their fav outfit and having some sort of memory marker for the day.

RTFT love

Spindrifts · 03/08/2025 13:26

You could make a bit of an effort no matter how small, for everyone involved. At least look smart, do your hair nicely and have some celebration, even if it is a bought cake and some prosecco back at yours. What a miserable way to start this new stage of your life? Do you love your husband? Are you a happy step mom and the child happy? Then, make that effort, include the child by them wearing their fav outfit and having some sort of memory marker for the day.

snemrose · 03/08/2025 11:36

OP in an ideal world what would you have liked your wedding to look like? And as we obviously don’t live in an ideal world what can you do to make it a little more like that?
Your dc should definitely be thinking it’s an exciting occasion to be celebrated in whatever way you choose
ETA somehow missed a load of posts and your update! Your dress is gorgeous and I hope you have a wonderful day

Movinghouseatlast · 03/08/2025 09:57

What a gorgeous dress! Perfect.

Newgirls · 03/08/2025 08:28

Beautiful - a chic and classy dress x

Eestar · 03/08/2025 06:55

Ooohhh this is so exciting! The dress you picked is beautiful, OP! I hope you have a really lovely day - and update us after 😍

SaratogaFilly · 02/08/2025 23:42

That dress is beautiful Op - you sound lovely & hope you have a very special day.

Ultravox · 02/08/2025 23:08

Congratulations! Your dress is beautiful. Lilac dresses will be perfect to go with it. Hope you find something and you all have a lovely day.

Octonaut4Life · 02/08/2025 23:05

OP it's a beautiful dress. I know you will look beautiful but I hope you will also feel beautiful and enjoy celebrating the fact that you are a beautiful family of four.

auderesperare · 02/08/2025 22:34

Wonderful dress OP. You’ll be stunning in that. Lots of flower girl dresses would work with that. Ivory, lilac or green. I’d go for ivory and accessorise with lilac ribbons or sashes. V easy to sort.
As an aside, my husband is a consultant psychiatrist and he says widowed people who have really happy first marriages tend to be the ones who remarry again and they generally make a success of it. It’s testimony to you and your DP and the quality of the marriage he had before that he is marrying you now. Enjoy the day with everyone’s blessing.

Pessismistic · 02/08/2025 22:28

Oh wow op that dress is gorgeous I’m so glad your doing all the normal stuff make up and hair your day will feel more special now good luck getting the kids dresses but it’s important that you feel special. Hope the wedding is a great day for you all.

CatRescueNeeded · 02/08/2025 22:27

MMO · 02/08/2025 20:17

These are beautiful 🤩

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Yes, they’re lovely and in stock in the right sizes (although 8 year old one is low stock)

wheresmyshoe · 02/08/2025 21:59

What a beautiful dress, I’m so pleased for you. I wish you a wonderful day.

Smartiepants79 · 02/08/2025 21:57

I’m so glad that you’re making this day special for you and your family. Some good memories for the start of the rest of your lives.

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