To not go swimming until September

What a rude, ignorant man. I’d have a comeback ready incase you see him again.

You could get him a social story. I actually think a lot of the blokes in the 50 plus session in my pool need it.

Social stories can help children understand personal space expectations in a swimming pool environment. These stories can explain that while swimming is fun, it's important to be mindful of others' space and avoid bumping or splashing them unnecessarily. The stories should also emphasize that it's okay to ask for more space if feeling crowded and that lifeguards are there to help ensure everyone's safety and comfort.

Here's a breakdown of what a social story about personal space in a swimming pool might include:

1. Setting the Scene:

Lots of people might be there:Explain that many people enjoy swimming, so the pool can get crowded.

1. Personal Space Matters:

Be mindful of others:
Encourage children to be aware of their surroundings and avoid bumping into other swimmers or splashing them excessively.

Ask for space if needed:
If a child feels crowded or uncomfortable, they can ask for more space or move to a less crowded area.

Respect others' space:
Emphasize that if someone asks for more space, it's important to give it to them.

1. Safety and Support:

Lifeguards are there to help:Explain that lifeguards are trained to ensure everyone's safety and can help if someone needs more space or assistance.

Follow instructions: Remind children to listen to the lifeguard's instructions, as they are there to help keep everyone safe.

Walking, not running: Reinforce the importance of walking in the pool area to prevent accidents.

1. Positive Reinforcement:

Happy swimmers:
Explain that when children are respectful of each other's space, everyone feels happy and comfortable in the pool.

1. Example Scenario:

If a child bumped into me in the pool and the parent was apologetic, I’d smile and say don’t worry about it.
Please don’t let this experience put you off. I’ll bet that for every twattish man, there’s been 10 people who have been nice to you.

It was an accident and you apologised. The man might have been having a bad day or he might be a prick all the time, don’t let him ruin swimming for you both if your boy enjoys it.

I sont like being splashed bit it happes and I am not aiming this at you personally but I am getting tired of a parent using a label to explain bad or annoying behaviour it is not an excuse

In this incident he may have been unreasonable or not behaviour does not suddenly become acceptable if you attach a label to it

If there was other kids splashing then it’s hard to believe he just picked on you. I do think your child was much, much more actively splashing than you think. If it really was once then this man is definitely Ur, but it really doesn’t make sense that someone with a child themselves would say this.
sounds like it was more than once.

I go swimming with my autistic DS 2-3x a week and have been knocked by kids loads, I’ve come out bruised but it’s just a quick “sorry” from either them or the parents and that’s it, I’d never make a massive deal out of it and most reasonable people wouldn’t either. He’s an arsehole for the way he reacted, I definitely wouldn’t stop taking my son somewhere he absolutely loves because of one idiot and his comments.

Manifesting that his grandchild goes through a horrendous tantrum era 🤣🤣

You encountered someone rude and it’s understandable that it would knock your confidence. Most of us consider being splashed as part of going to/ taking our kids swimming. You and your child shouldn’t miss out because of one twat. Take him swimming as much as he likes.

I agree with everyone saying don’t let one upsetting incident ruin your time with your DS. I would go again with head held high.

You are doing nothing wrong and this man is a twat. If anything happens again speak to someone on duty.

If I get knocked or splashed in the pool I don't care unless it's the same kid/family repeatedly. In which case I would say something. But otherwise it's fairly standard in a public pool to have some contact with other people.

You should definitely not let this one interaction prevent your son from going swimming this summer. Just forget it and carry on as you were.

Whilst you need to ensure your dc can do his favourite activities to a point, it mustn’t be at the expense of the enjoyment of other users so choosing a quieter time helps of moving dc away from others in the pool. The odd knock or splash is absolutely fine but move him away from others at that point to it’s not repeated.

I have an autistic dd and she hated being splashed to the point she was 9 before she would do swimming lessons because of being put off my unruly children. By being considerate and minimising disruptive behaviour you can still take dc swimming without upsetting others

Don't let some old, stupid grump ruin something you love to do with your child.

Oh sorry girl, I know how stressful it is. Dd is 6 and autistic and LOVES swimming

She likes to jump in the water and doesn't like to play with me at all, i just stand in the water and watch 😄

Keep going. I understand having low self esteem too, but dont let this twat of a man stop you from doing something you love

He was rude and unjustified. Youre doing just fine ❤️

Our local pool has quiet sessions for kids with additional needs - could you ask for something like this?

It happens. No biggie. Guy's just being a dick. Fall over and splash the heck out of him.

The man you encountered was rude and there is no excuse for him speaking to you the way he did.

Whether or not you take your da swimming depends on whether you think he can cope well with the pool being so much busier than usual. I think in the baby pool you do need to be aware that there will be other nervous children around who wouldn’t like being knocked or splashed, and that is fair enough when they are still trying to gain confidence in the water. If you can ensure your child won’t create unpleasant experiences for other children, then take him swimming. If you can’t, then wait until September.

You will always get horrible people unfortunately, personally I would continue as it’s good for them to be in situations with a lot of different people. Alternatively, could you look to see if they do quieter sessions for this reason? I don’t know where you live but we have a good amount of private pools which are quieter and able to book with only a few people having slots along side.

@EmeraldiislandI really feel for you but it’s time to harness your inner voice and inner anger. Do not take away from your child something he enjoys, his life and yours are challenging enough without silly fools intimidating you.

I know it can’t be easy with low confidence and low self esteem but if you don’t stick up for your child then who will? Most decent human beings understand the challenges and the bloody idiots that don’t are not worth the effort or head space. Go swimming, you’ve paid your money to attend and it’s as good as anyone else’s. You have every right to be there and so does your son.

<My DN has autism and it enrages me what my sisters has had to tolerate from judgemental fools.>

Am very surprised someone has voted YANBU.

It would be a massive shame to not take your dc to something her really enjoys because once you bumped into someone who is either very miserable, or who was just at the end of his tether because of other things going on in his life.

If you are in a public swimming pool, where families are having fun then sometimes someone bumps into you. Fact. You have nothing to be worried about and shouldn't let this man's miserable retort spoil a whole Summer for you and your ds.

As long as your DS is happy then I would do my best to take him. Even if it’s a bit less than normal. Or at a different time? Can you ask the centre staff for when is the quieter times and go then??
If you’re sure that his behaviour is minimally disruptive then you’re just going to have to be brave. There will always be idiots, you can’t let it stop you.

I wouldn't let one idiot spoil your DS's fun. If he wasn't hurt, he's being ridiculous. I swim and once accidently caught a little girl with my foot. I went back and apologised to her and her mum. The mum said "it's fine, just don't do it again!" 🙄
I think the only way for you to feel better about this, is to get back in the pool, and have a positive experience.