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AIBU?

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Child coming over the fence to play at 7.35 am

163 replies

Wantmorenachosbutcant · 25/07/2025 18:41

This morning as I was just coming into the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast for Dd, I opened the kitchen door to the garden and Dd was already out there (have told her not to go in the garden unless one of us is up and there in the morning) with her friend climbing over our fence to play (low fence, then climbs onto our garden bench-not dangerous)
Behind our house is her friends grandparents house, the mum had dropped her off at her mums, so she could presumably go early to work and her mum then takes her to a kids club later on, on her way to work (they leave around 9am)
and this friend had come to play
Aibu to think this is far too early?!
I like to sit quietly in the garden with my coffee in summer and just wake up..basically! They were on the trampoline, then I was having to tell her not to climb on the top step of the slide and jump off etc.
They weren’t particularly noisy, but I was aware that some people would still be in bed and so on
As I was washing up, I heard her shouting to her grandma about something and her shouting back that she could just stay for a bit until they had to go to the kids club place.
All the toys were everywhere and by 9 I felt really stressed, plus we were going out and I was trying to get Dd to get ready. I said to her afterwards it’s fine at weekends or a day after kids club/school, but not this early in the mornings again.

Aibu and a grumpy sod spoiling the fun or would this be as annoying to you as it was to me?

OP posts:
PaxAeterna · 26/07/2025 01:11

Yes it is far too early. This type of thing is why I have a love hate relationship with living on a road with loads of children where my kids have a ball playing outside but I’m also driven demented by similar types of carry on.

Bring her straight back if she comes again and tell her you’d love to see her later!

beAsensible1 · 26/07/2025 01:10

Good morning “neighbours name” we don’t have friends over until after 9am, so we’ll see you later on. cmon Dd get inside let’s get ready for the day.

simple to the point but not mean or cutting off opportunities for other play time.

im sure if your neighbours saw your dd outside playing at 7.30 they would’ve thought it was ok if they usually play together. Most children would join a playmate over a fence or not. The concept of it being too early wouldn’t be a thing.

if DD is allowed to play out at that time I can’t see the issue with another joint as long as they’re not screeching. If not then you just have to bring your Dd in and it solves the issue.

Delphiniumandlupins · 26/07/2025 01:03

You should have brought your DD inside and sent the other child home immediately. By letting them play for a short time you rewarded her when she did something she's been told not to do. You don't need to involve the other mother/grandmother, just parent your own child.

RobinEllacotStrike · 26/07/2025 00:30

every now & then I read threads on MN where everything completely perplexes me. This is one of them.

Wantmorenachosbutcant · 26/07/2025 00:15

ThinWomansBrain · 25/07/2025 23:56

you presumably thought that about her wondering outside in the garden at silly o'clock before anyone was up, and she'd expressly been told not to🙄

Going into the garden is a bit different to her opening the door and gate and heading off somewhere…I hope…!

OP posts:
ThinWomansBrain · 25/07/2025 23:56

you presumably thought that about her wondering outside in the garden at silly o'clock before anyone was up, and she'd expressly been told not to🙄

Wantmorenachosbutcant · 25/07/2025 23:48

ThinWomansBrain · 25/07/2025 23:40

As a neighbour I'd be pissed off with all of you
But it's your child out of control - and nothing to stop her wandering off outside with neither parent about - suppose she wanders off down the road & gets run over?

She’s 7, she wouldn’t wander off down the road

OP posts:
ThinWomansBrain · 25/07/2025 23:40

As a neighbour I'd be pissed off with all of you
But it's your child out of control - and nothing to stop her wandering off outside with neither parent about - suppose she wanders off down the road & gets run over?

Isitreallysohard · 25/07/2025 23:37

I feel sorry for your other neighbours, I dount two kids on a tramp at 7.30am was quiet.

CandyCane457 · 25/07/2025 23:35

You’re not unreasonable for being miffed by this, but I do think you’re unreasonable for just allowing it to happen.
In one of your replies you referenced really not wanting to speak to the grandma about this…is there a reason why? Are you afraid of her? Is she not very nice?
It’s too late now as it’s already happened but I honestly just wouldn’t have allowed this. I would have sent the child right back over and n very firm with it. Then, I would have spoken to my daughter and reminded her she shouldn’t just be letting herself out so early in the morning.
My fear for you is now that it’s happened once, it’s going to happen again. You must speak up next time and just send the child right back, and tell her grandma it’s a no.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 25/07/2025 23:13

Have a word with her DGP. It is too early.

RoseAlone · 25/07/2025 23:11

Not an issue at all. Let them enjoy themselves, 7.35 is hardly early!

whatcanthematterbe81 · 25/07/2025 23:01

Trampoline before 9 is a no no in our house. Even if they’re not squealing, the bounce noise is annoying AF

Wantmorenachosbutcant · 25/07/2025 22:53

RaininSummer · 25/07/2025 22:50

I reckon it's the grandmother to blame here as she probably wants her morning coffee in peace.

I thought the same…but so do I 😂

OP posts:
RantzNotBantz · 25/07/2025 22:53

Velmy · 25/07/2025 19:25

It's hardly naughty is it? Especially if they haven't been told so.

It’s obviously naughty.

The Dd had been told not to open the door and go out before her parents are down,

And any child old enough to climb a garden fence should know you don’t just climb over people’s fences into their gardens uninvited.

They may well still do it (clearly did) so you just say very firmly “go back to your own house please and do not climb over the fence again. Dd, come back inside immediately and in future do as you are told”

RaininSummer · 25/07/2025 22:50

I reckon it's the grandmother to blame here as she probably wants her morning coffee in peace.

RantzNotBantz · 25/07/2025 22:46

I would be telling the child very clearly that it is not ok to climb over the fence and she must never do it again.

And read the riot act to your Dd.

They are KIDS. They do what you ask. You wouldn’t put up with adults climbing into to your garden and making a racket at 7.30!

Sonolanona · 25/07/2025 22:41

Yeet her back over the fence!

diddl · 25/07/2025 21:15

FloofyBird · 25/07/2025 18:58

Have you posted about this GM fobbing her GC off on you before ?

There's definitely been the same scenario hasn't there?

godmum56 · 25/07/2025 20:15

Wantmorenachosbutcant · 25/07/2025 20:09

Kitchen door is locked and keys put away, but a patio door can go into the garden, this has no lock, it locks by the putting the handle thing up and she can now pull it down to unlock

then get a safety extra lock for it.

Wantmorenachosbutcant · 25/07/2025 20:09

Zempy · 25/07/2025 19:57

We had a similar problem in a previous house and the answer was a much higher, unclimbable fence. The neighbours were pissed off but I got my peace and quiet back.

How is DD getting key to back door? Can you lock it and put the key up higher?

Kitchen door is locked and keys put away, but a patio door can go into the garden, this has no lock, it locks by the putting the handle thing up and she can now pull it down to unlock

OP posts:
Zov · 25/07/2025 20:06

nomas · 25/07/2025 18:58

Why did you just not send her back?

Yeah this. ^ I would never have let an uninvited child come in, and especially not at bloody half seven in the morning! The gran should be stopping this! You need to tell the gran or parents about this @Wantmorenachosbutcant and say you want it stopping!

dottiedodah · 25/07/2025 20:03

This often seems to happen when left unchecked. Nip it now! Take her back .say we need to be out by 9.00 .also .GM is having a quiet 5 mins .not on

WiddlinDiddlin · 25/07/2025 20:02

As a neighbour, I'd not be best pleased at being woken by the thudding and spring screeching of a trampoline at pre-10.am!

From a parental side of things - kids unsupervised in a garden with a trampoline is a recipe for a kid with a broken limb or head injury - and two kids together does dramatically increase that risk!

Zempy · 25/07/2025 19:57

We had a similar problem in a previous house and the answer was a much higher, unclimbable fence. The neighbours were pissed off but I got my peace and quiet back.

How is DD getting key to back door? Can you lock it and put the key up higher?

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