Child coming over the fence to play at 7.35 am

Wow I can't believe what I'm reading here! So you'd rather your daughter stay inside and watch TV than play with another actual child?? WTAF is wrong with everyone. Since the pandemic everyone has gone mad. Most people will be up by 7.30am it's not a big deal.

You need to make it clear its not convenient or it'll keep happening. Take her back and say its too early for play time can you please not let her climb over.

Good point. I think the timing is an issue but I am surprised by people being so shocked at a 7 year old being outside alone. She’s in her own garden, not wandering the streets which many of the 80s and 90s children were allowed to do…

Agreed. Too early in the morning. I have a blanket rule - no play out in the garden until at least 9am so the neighbours aren’t disturbed. You could apply the same to her, so there’s a clear rule and reason behind it. You could always fib and say someone complained about the noise they were making if you think it would be more impactful.

Kids need to play, even better when it’s outside in fresh air

No way are you unreasonable I'd have to speak to the grandparents and say it's far too early .. I couldn't be doing with that at that time in the morning ... surely everyone is just starting to come round I need a couple of cuppa teas before I want a conversation 😂

The harm is that they aren't supervised at all times at that hour and if the neighbours grandkid gets hurt the OP could find themselves getting sued because they were upstairs in bed. The kids are only not noisy by the OPs admittance when she is outside controlling the situation. Imagine if OPs 7 year old falls and breaks a wrist or something, it would raise concern if mum had to admit that the 7 year old girl goes outside to play in the morning whist mum sleeps.

Just tell the child to go home and come back later, and make sure your door is locked so DD can't get out.

Tbf your dd went out in the garden by herself early and the little girl came to see her friend. Tell dd she can’t go out in the garden first thing without you, and if friend comes over early when you are there, you can say, sorry it’s a bit early still having breakfast.

YABU
What on earth are you waiting for? The other grandma to see sense? Won't happen unless you physically take the girl back home and TELL grandma that she is not to come over so early again.

I’m gobsmacked that you’re ok with a 7 year old being able to leave the house whilst you’re still in bed TBH - it’s shocking! Get the patio door lock sorted asap.

If they were being quiet, I think it's fine, probably the neighbour didn't realise the playing was upsetting anyone. I live on a garden square where all the houses open onto the large garden, nobody else can get into it and it's safe. All the children play together almost every day when they're little. It's a Victorian street so this has been the norm for 100+ years. I love hearing them during the summers and it's a bit sad when each generation reaches the age to stop.
Now it's so rare for in the UK for children to self regulate and play out with no adults, I think people have forgotten how recently everyone did, even the tiniest if a big brother in or sister was mature enough to look out for them.

It's too early, but more to the point the grandma is basically farming her out to you. 'shouting back that she could just stay for a bit until they had to go to the kids club place.'? I don't think so!
If she turns up again, take her back and say to her grandma she isn't to come round so early. And if she asks why not or mithers, ignore it; you don't owe her an explanation.

It would probably drive me mad, but reading it made me smile because there's something very Beryl the Peril or Minnie the Minx about it. In a world where kids rarely seem to play out anymore I like the old school charm of it.

At 7.30am I 100% think my children should be inside 😂
Not outside while I am still in bed and not aware of where they are and what they're doing
Not pissing the whole street off bouncing on the trampoline
And definitely not inviting the neighbour children to climb over the fence!

Ah, so only two possible options??

Otherwise, I guess you’re unwilling to accompany your child when they’re playing outside and prefer others to do all the parenting whilst you’re sat indoors on your screen then. 🤷🏻‍♀️

have told her not to go in the garden unless one of us is up and there in the morning

You have specifically told her not to do this but she is doing it anyway?!

I think you need to revisit your house rules, it's pointless saying, 'no, you can't go outside without an adult', 'no, you can't play here in the morning with my daughter' if you have absolutely no intention of seeing any of them through!

@Wantmorenachosbutcant if o seen a child out alone in the garden at that time I’d assume it was ok .
Your first issue is your Dd was out and you didn’t know .
If you address that then maybe the child wouldn’t have came over .

I think 7.30 is too early but then I wouldn’t let me child out at that time either , to waken up the neighbours or ruin their peaceful morning.

Just talk to the neighbour who will probably be understanding, and in no way blame her child. And your DD of course separately.

Tbh I'd be far more concerned my child is going into the garden by themself at that time. My children are 6&7 and know the rules in the morning, no garden till 9am weekdays 10am weekends. They can spend the entire day out there if they choose to, after those hours.

Id be extremely worried that if the other child climbed over so easily, your child could do the same before anyone's awake or watching her. You need a better lock for your door.

I agree, that's really rude of the parent/grandparent to allow that.

I would be pissed off… each to their own.

The actual point from the OP is that she wants a chill morning waking up, and be a respectful neighbour by shushing them.

Not sure I’d want to be your neighbour.

Yanbu, just put a clear boundary down about it - no friends round to play before 9am (or whenever). Make sure your daughter and friend both understand this.
If she turns up again just pleasantly say “remember Sophie we don’t have friends round to play here until after 9, see you later!”

My neighbour lets her kid out at 7.30am to holler at her friend who lives at the back of her. She then goes back in around 8 having woken up my Daughter and probably the other neighbours who have been working all week and would've might liked a lie in. It's annoying. Put a stop to it.

I think people are being a bit hard on you OP. It was first thing on a morning and you were met by a surprise. Now you've had time to think about it, you can sit down with your daughter and explain your boundaries.

My kids aged 9 and 6 found the back door keys, went into our back garden, scaled a 6ft gate (so changing your fence to 6ft may not solve your problem) and I found them at 7.30am playing in our front garden. I had no idea that was going on and that fact still scares the crap out of me.

We sat down afterwards and explained to them both how dangerous all that was. But until they've pushed a boundary kids don't necessarily know that something's not ok. And sometimes you, as a parent, can't predict what they're going to do.

As for other people's kids, we're the strict parents locally and have had rumours spread that we're abusive because are kids aren't let allowed out at all hours, so I get the reluctance of people to be seen as strict.

Kids around here are regularly out on bikes in the middle of the road at all.times of day from age 5 years upwards. One neighbour has a child that sings karaoke loudly and out of tune with a large amp any time from 7am to 11pm in their garden ("She's going to be a singer.") A trampoline would be a blissful sound in comparison.

The parents of all these kids tell everyone what great / hippie / gentle / relaxed / understanding parents they are. I did, for a while, copy them because I'm trying to learn how to be a good parent. But then, after nearly knocking a kid off a bike driving down my road when he swerved off the pavement oblivious, I realised it wasn't keeping any of these kids safe and I didn't want my kids to end up hurt. So now, we're the strict "abusive" parents with boundaries. This thread surprises me as we're very much the anomaly with our boundaries.

Ok rant over.

OP, I'd work out what your boundaries are and then sit down to discuss them with your daughter. And then see those boundaries through if the neighbours granddaughter appears over the fence at 7.30am again. Just explain it's too early for your family.