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AIBU?

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Original poster

Child coming over the fence to play at 7.35 am

163 replies

Wantmorenachosbutcant · 25/07/2025 18:41

This morning as I was just coming into the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast for Dd, I opened the kitchen door to the garden and Dd was already out there (have told her not to go in the garden unless one of us is up and there in the morning) with her friend climbing over our fence to play (low fence, then climbs onto our garden bench-not dangerous)
Behind our house is her friends grandparents house, the mum had dropped her off at her mums, so she could presumably go early to work and her mum then takes her to a kids club later on, on her way to work (they leave around 9am)
and this friend had come to play
Aibu to think this is far too early?!
I like to sit quietly in the garden with my coffee in summer and just wake up..basically! They were on the trampoline, then I was having to tell her not to climb on the top step of the slide and jump off etc.
They weren’t particularly noisy, but I was aware that some people would still be in bed and so on
As I was washing up, I heard her shouting to her grandma about something and her shouting back that she could just stay for a bit until they had to go to the kids club place.
All the toys were everywhere and by 9 I felt really stressed, plus we were going out and I was trying to get Dd to get ready. I said to her afterwards it’s fine at weekends or a day after kids club/school, but not this early in the mornings again.

Aibu and a grumpy sod spoiling the fun or would this be as annoying to you as it was to me?

OP posts:
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FloofyBird · 01/08/2025 11:33

Feelinglost10 · 01/08/2025 11:27

Cute you reported my response. Maybe next time just do better and be a nicer person

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I didn't report it but perhaps others noticed your weird and unwarranted picking on me and me alone despite many others also recognising OP has posted about this before and others commenting in far more detail about it.

As for being a nicer person, I literally asked op if she'd posted about it before. If that offends you I think that's very obviously a you problem.

Feelinglost10 · 01/08/2025 11:27

FloofyBird · 31/07/2025 23:14

Ok then 😂 is it just me you have this issue with because you don't seem bothered about the multiple other people who remember op.

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Cute you reported my response. Maybe next time just do better and be a nicer person

FloofyBird · 31/07/2025 23:14

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Ok then 😂 is it just me you have this issue with because you don't seem bothered about the multiple other people who remember op.

Feelinglost10 · 31/07/2025 18:12

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Spinmerightroundbaby · 30/07/2025 22:24

Wantmorenachosbutcant · 27/07/2025 23:59

She hasn’t ever left the house??)

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Don’t worry OP. There’s nothing wrong with a seven year old going out in the garden as long as you’re aware! Different matter altogether if she was going out the front door and running off down the street.

raspberrieswithchocolate · 30/07/2025 00:09

nomas · 29/07/2025 22:37

Yep, same thread again. Advice is the same too.

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Agree, same issue, same advice given again. The op keeps experiencing the same problems because she keeps laying the blame elsewhere, instead of realising she has to make changes if she wants a different outcome.

FloofyBird · 29/07/2025 23:38

Feelinglost10 · 29/07/2025 18:43

well feel free to scroll past then? You’re not obliged to read and comment on a post. This is why some people don’t even like posting, myself included. You get the fbi of Mumsnet picking apart your entire life story. Baffles me you have the time to remember someone’s previous post to even make these comments, wish I bloody did.

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I didn't want to and nor do I have too because some random on mumsnet says so. All I did was ask op if she's posted about it before. Why are you so irate about that? Weird.

nomas · 29/07/2025 22:37

FloofyBird · 29/07/2025 14:44

In fact iirc mum dumps the child at grandmas on a regular basis, grandma can't be bothered to look after her either so in turn regularly encourages the dgc to go over the fence to op. Op refuses to address it despite the fact it's driving her (understandably) up the wall.

Yep, same thread again. Advice is the same too.

Original poster
Wantmorenachosbutcant · 29/07/2025 22:34

Feelinglost10 · 29/07/2025 18:43

well feel free to scroll past then? You’re not obliged to read and comment on a post. This is why some people don’t even like posting, myself included. You get the fbi of Mumsnet picking apart your entire life story. Baffles me you have the time to remember someone’s previous post to even make these comments, wish I bloody did.

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Agree! 💓

OP posts:
Original poster
Wantmorenachosbutcant · 29/07/2025 22:33

Nearly50omg · 29/07/2025 22:19

You thought she wouldn’t open the patio door and go out into the garden until she did!!!

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No, I didn’t, patio open when we’re there and through the day in summer, her opening it is different to her leaving the actual house & garden

OP posts:
Nearly50omg · 29/07/2025 22:19

Wantmorenachosbutcant · 25/07/2025 23:48

She’s 7, she wouldn’t wander off down the road

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You thought she wouldn’t open the patio door and go out into the garden until she did!!!

Feelinglost10 · 29/07/2025 18:43

FloofyBird · 29/07/2025 14:39

I didn't go back through the threads I remembered it (i had a similar issue once). Lots of people gave OP advice last time and she point blank refuses to address the issue or do anything about it. I hate when people whinge about an issue they refuse to address but cest la vie!

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well feel free to scroll past then? You’re not obliged to read and comment on a post. This is why some people don’t even like posting, myself included. You get the fbi of Mumsnet picking apart your entire life story. Baffles me you have the time to remember someone’s previous post to even make these comments, wish I bloody did.

KarmenPQZ · 29/07/2025 14:50

Surely the issue is with your daughter going and playing in the garden when she’s not allowed. You just need to parent your child and she can only play outside when she’s had her breakfast and is ready to go? Not sure why you’re blaming the neighbour.

FloofyBird · 29/07/2025 14:44

In fact iirc mum dumps the child at grandmas on a regular basis, grandma can't be bothered to look after her either so in turn regularly encourages the dgc to go over the fence to op. Op refuses to address it despite the fact it's driving her (understandably) up the wall.

FloofyBird · 29/07/2025 14:39

Feelinglost10 · 28/07/2025 08:42

I hate when people do this.

stop going back through peoples threads or asking have they posted before. Just let people talk about what’s currently on their minds. Honest to god.

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I didn't go back through the threads I remembered it (i had a similar issue once). Lots of people gave OP advice last time and she point blank refuses to address the issue or do anything about it. I hate when people whinge about an issue they refuse to address but cest la vie!

TheTwinklyLemur · 29/07/2025 13:44

legoplaybook · 28/07/2025 09:53

Even in the 80s and 90s children weren't wandering the streets when parents were in bed.

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Depends where you live I think. In the 80s some children were sent to Sunday school so the parents could have a lie in.

ItsameLuigi · 28/07/2025 17:13

Wantmorenachosbutcant · 27/07/2025 23:59

She hasn’t ever left the house??)

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Is the trampoline in the house then?

legoplaybook · 28/07/2025 09:53

Spinmerightroundbaby · 27/07/2025 21:32

Good point. I think the timing is an issue but I am surprised by people being so shocked at a 7 year old being outside alone. She’s in her own garden, not wandering the streets which many of the 80s and 90s children were allowed to do…

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Even in the 80s and 90s children weren't wandering the streets when parents were in bed.

NOORULAIN123 · 28/07/2025 09:31

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Feelinglost10 · 28/07/2025 08:42

FloofyBird · 25/07/2025 18:58

Have you posted about this GM fobbing her GC off on you before ?

I hate when people do this.

stop going back through peoples threads or asking have they posted before. Just let people talk about what’s currently on their minds. Honest to god.

Coconutter24 · 28/07/2025 07:15

Wantmorenachosbutcant · 26/07/2025 00:15

Going into the garden is a bit different to her opening the door and gate and heading off somewhere…I hope…!

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It’s not really, she’s been given an instruction and ignored it. Regardless of whether it’s the back garden or the street she wasn’t trusted to do as she’s told.
I’d of let them play for 10 mins while I made DD breakfast then said come in, sent friend home

FlyMeSomewhere · 28/07/2025 06:52

DollydaydreamTheThird · 27/07/2025 22:54

Wow I can't believe what I'm reading here! So you'd rather your daughter stay inside and watch TV than play with another actual child?? WTAF is wrong with everyone. Since the pandemic everyone has gone mad. Most people will be up by 7.30am it's not a big deal.

They have all day to play outside! If boundaries aren't set then they could start sneaking out even earlier and unsupervised screaming and trampoline use at the crack of dawn would be unacceptable! People tend to like to stay up later at weekends and stay in bed longer so people would get pissed off if your kids are outside early doors everyday!
As said if one of these kids gets hurt in the OPs garden and the OP was upstairs in bed, questions would be asked about why they are unsupervised.

At my last house there was a family next door but one and it used to do my head in being outside and listening to the noise of that trampoline for hours on end and kids that permanently communicated by screaming and shouting! Too many parents just don't discipline kids for screaming anymore! I was in a beer garden the other Saturday evening for a meal with my partner, it was that time of day when adults are coming in for a few drinks but families were still in with kids on the play equipment and again the kids couldn't communicate without screeching and screaming at high volume and all the parents didn't care about anyone else trying to drink and being deafened. Kids cannot be allowed to just walk outside to play any time of the day or night whilst the adults are sleeping especially when so many are taught that screaming is an acceptable form of communication.

FlyMeSomewhere · 28/07/2025 06:18

YowieeF · 27/07/2025 20:56

Kids need to play, even better when it’s outside in fresh air

They've got all day to do that, if you don't parent and set boundaries what's to stop them both sneaking outside even earlier, nobody should have to listen to trampolines and screaming kids at the crack of dawn. You set the boundary that they can play outside once parents are up and agree it's ok.

Orlastuff · 28/07/2025 00:03

Play date at 7:30 in the morning....feck that.

Original poster
Wantmorenachosbutcant · 27/07/2025 23:59

Soontobe60 · 27/07/2025 18:21

I’m gobsmacked that you’re ok with a 7 year old being able to leave the house whilst you’re still in bed TBH - it’s shocking! Get the patio door lock sorted asap.

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She hasn’t ever left the house??)

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