Is my best friend racist?

Hope this is helpful -

An Islamophobe is a person who harbors irrational fear, hatred, or prejudice against Islam or Muslims. This term comes from “Islamophobia,” which refers to hostility, discrimination, or biased attitudes toward people who follow the Islamic faith.

Islamophobia can show up in various ways, including:

• Stereotyping Muslims as terrorists or extremists
• Discriminatory policies targeting Muslim communities
• Hate speech or violence against Muslims or Islamic institutions (like mosques)
• Assuming someone is dangerous or untrustworthy simply because they are Muslim or wear religious clothing (like hijabs or kufis)

• Criticism of a religion’s ideas or practices is not necessarily Islamophobia — it becomes problematic when it targets individuals or groups based on prejudice or fuels hostility toward Muslims as people.

I agree with the friend too. We are importing a whole world of trouble with different views about fundamentals like women's rights and safety. I don't see much assimilation and feel Britain will get increasingly tribal as the years go on and there will be a lot of violent conflict one day as religion and cultures clash and some seek ascendancy.

You are dreadfully naive.

Same in DS’ school. No nativity, only secular ‘carols’ performed. They do however celebrate other religious festivals. It’s a predominantly white British school as well. Go figure.

How is wanting people to learn the language and accept the laws of the country they are living in and to participate in things like state education Islamaphobic? I am not happy with this behaviour in any group. I think we can expand to include cultural holidays, food, and some customs. But how is it wrong to say, this is how this country does things (for example, education) and if you come to live here, this is what you have to accept?

This is a really really strange response. Yes actually, my children’s school doesn’t do the nativity at Christmas but they celebrate tonnes of other religious and cultural festivals. And yes, people regularly tiptoe around saying merry Christmas now and say happy holiday season instead lest they offend someone who isn’t Christian. I don’t think people worry about this in other countries. If you live somewhere else and you have a work holiday for a religious festival, people EXPECT you to say happy whatever celebration. So yes, actually, my Christmas and language have been cancelled. and yet if I moved somewhere else, I’d be expected to assimilate and learn all the cultural greetings and terminology including what you say at holidays and celebrations.

And you know, I’ve never known anyone Muslim who eats hamsters…but thanks for the heads up. I’ll have to watch out for that if I ever choose a hamster as a pet….

💘

What does ‘Islamophobe’ mean?

Aw! You’re inventive as well!

Letting your cat roam all over the neighborhood

Taking trains to other parts of the country (as opposed to the US, where we mostly drive or fly)

Thinking you’re fortunate to have to wait “only” eight months for an autism assessment

Being opposed to trick-or-treating, for reasons that have nothing to do with religious fundamentalism

Going to schools that have prefects, head girls, and head boys

Sending your young children to reception, not kindergarten

Drying your clothes on top of the radiator

Not going into debt after unexpected surgery

Thinking the social class of someone’s ancestors is relevant

Knowing the rules of cricket and rugby

Seeing a pensioner eating a packet of crisps on the Underground, as opposed to seeing a retired person eating a bag of chips on the subway

Using “Asians” refer to South Asians, not East Asians

Having heard of a man named Ashley somewhere other than Gone With the Wind

Precisely. We could all list various things that we think about when we imagine British Culture but it is more than that.

Anyone who has spent extended periods of time travelling will probably have felt homesick at some point. That’s because you’re missing your culture. I went travelling for 6 months when I was younger and by the time I got to Thailand, I was starting to feel a little homesick and beyond excited when I discovered a British pub that served pie and mash. Reconnecting with my home culture was invigorating and allowed me to continue on after ‘touching base’ back with the familiar.

I basically agree with her but I think there are degrees.

Of course I have no problem worshipping however they want, eating what they want, marrying who they want and following their own traditions.

But if you publicly, vocally or through public insinuations try to impose your views of things like women’s rights, mixed education, female emancipation, democracy/ constitution on others, refuse to learn the language so the taxpayer has to pay for translators, and refuse to integrate at all then I don’t think it’s racism to say that’s not ok.

Your friend makes a lot of good points.

It’s virtually impossible to have any kind of sensible debate on this topic because of people accusing others of racism where there doesn’t appear to be any. A bit like you have.

Another thread where the islamaphobes appear!

The vast majority are agreeing with each other. You seem very keen to spoil the vibe.

Everyone isn’t agreeing with each other.

Anyone would think you were trying to goad me into an argument and you're far too intelligent, well read and clued up to stoop so low. Don't derail the thread, everyone is agreeing with other and getting on so well. It would be a shame to spoil the party.

I agree with her

Pakistani-origin men are up to four times more likely to be reported to the police for child sex grooming offences than the general population in England and Wales, the first national police scheme data appeared to suggest last week.

https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/how-pakistans-rape-culture-led-to-the-uk-grooming-gangs/

What are these vastly different beliefs and values that she refers to?

Countries that practice FGM. The treatment of gay people and woman in many societies. Child marriage.
Mass child and baby rape in southern Africa due to a superstition anout curing AIDS. Treatment of animals.
Afghanistan under the Taliban. That's just briefly off the top of my head.

Plus a police person risks being sacked if they’re accused of racism - very difficult to do your job in those circumstances imv

I agree with your friend. Cultural integration and assimilation is incredibly difficult especially when there are major differences with the roles and expectations of men/women/ domestic life etc . It's probably easier for cultural integration within the western world but saying that my brother moved to the USA and still relies heavily on other British ex pat groups for his predominant social circle. I see above you identified that police etc would take 'swift action' at perhaps some cultural practices that are not aligned with our law; however, this is still very much a difficult area. Many cultural practices that do not align with our law are kept hidden by communities and so it perhaps isn't as easier to prosecute as you may believe. www.theguardian.com/society/2024/sep/19/nhs-reports-increase-in-female-genital-mutilation-cases

I don't believe @ExtraOnions is suggesting that British culture doesn't exist - she is asking for a definition.

It is hard to give one though, as neither Britain nor the UK is a country. It's a political state comprising four very different countries, each with its own identity, history, laws, education systems and, of course, culture.

Naturally there is a lot of overlap, but a lot of that overlap exists with other western countries too, and not unique to the members of the UK. I'd say that the things listed by @Bubblegumicecreamm are mostly English culture, with much of it pretty alien to me (a Scot). I also feel this watching the news, It's like watching the news on holiday abroad - interesting but doesn't really relate to my life or experiences.

I don't know much about Welsh or Northern Irish culture but I have never assumed they're the same as anywhere else on these islands. Maybe though the areas of overlap are enough for some to feel a commonality between us all, even though we mostly share them with Europe and North America too.

Perhaps the problems arise when immigration brings us cultures where there is little to no overlap, and shared values can't be found. I can see how this might breed resentment on both sides, although with Scotland experiencing far lower levels of immigration than England I have no direct experience to speak of.

There was a really interesting set of 3 documentaries recently where the guy went through scandinavia. When he was in Denmark, he was talking about the attitude to immigrants there and it kind of shocked me, but really made me think. If you want to immigrate you must speak the language, your kids must go to state run childcare from age 2. The focus is on integration. I have to say, it seemed sensible. I am not sure about their rule that they will forcibly move people if they think a ghetto is forming and more than 25% of an area come from a particular ethnic group and felt very sorry for the man whose family had been forced to move. But again, I could kind of see the point.

It’s interesting that you like to dismiss people wanting to discuss immigration.

It’s interesting that you find other peoples’ wish to discuss immigration and their concerns about immigration, ‘not interesting’.

This demonstrates your lack of awareness spectacularly well.