To cancel next holiday?

Yes I know kids can enjoy castles etc cardibach - but if the op expected to look around quietly at all the 15th century artifacts and the kids were just desperate to get outside into the playground, then no, it's not that fun for anyone

I'd really like to go to Chatsworth, but I know there's zero point in taking the kids as it would just be lost on them after five minutes

If your husband wants to go I would go. Maybe explain to them that you both work hard to get money to go on vacation. Also maybe bring snacks from home that they like. You could also do a reward chart for good behaviour.

Oh god yes you need kids friendly hotel! Not nice grown up one. You need there to be other British kids playing in the pool so they can make holiday friends. A slide they can go down repeatedly on would be good. A kids club, a tacky kids disco, someone sweating to death in a big mascot costume, some smiling 20-somethings in garish uniforms being paid to organise a “kids vs dads” water polo match. (Bonus points if your kids get to dunk dad) Buffet meals so they can find something they want to eat (and if it’s spaghetti bolognaise 4 nights on the run, so be it). Yes the views from the bar might not be so breathtaking, there’s a lot to be said for being able to relax with a G&T while watching your kids play football with the new friends they’ve made before you all go for dinner, instead of having to stop them squabbling while your ice melts.

Save your boutique hotels in the hills for when they hit secondary.

For them. Perhaps pool/ beach /sea /buffet/ play park on repeat would be better.

This is exactly right. Our hotel in Crete was just like this. We still went on a couple of day trips to the local town and a really nice one up into the mountains on a jeep to see a hillside village/ church/ lunch in a traditional taverna then beautiful beach at the end of a gorge but most days were as above!

Taking your children to the shops or optician or whatever day to day chore because you can't leave them home alone is not the same as dragging them around for days on end to a holiday full of activities you want to do that they have no interest in...

Also just for reference we had some lovely autumn/ winter breaks at Center Parcs at those ages too.

This is very normal but yes very annoying. My sister and I often say that we’d love days out with the kids, if only the kids weren’t there. The times my kids have moaned throughout their day out only to demand to return to the place they dismissed as “boring” or “sad” the day after!

That said, we have done Greece and Portugal in autumn and my recollection is that they were some of the best holidays. My kids are much better with a pool, beach activities etc than national trust or towns/ cities. I think it will be much better so I’d still go, but maybe find somewhere with a kids club and ideally an indoor pool too, just in case you get a few dodgy days of weather.

You're complaining that they ruined a visit to somewhere YOU always wanted to go and the hotel you've booked for Crete isn't a child friendly one.

Also that you ate out a lot, making sure it would suit them in food but I bet not in "vibe"

Put yourself in their shoes as to what they might enjoy
Ignore whinging

We're you able to be grateful at age 6 and 8? I don't think anyone realises the efforts of parents til you have your own kids

Personally I prefer Eurocamp-type holidays at this age range, as they tend to be a bit better for our holiday preferences. The accommodation is better than a hotel room you’re all squeezed into, mine were happy to come back for a break during day and watch their tablets or do colouring or play games on the patio while I had a nap in another room and they had outside enclosed space on patio to play too. Also being able to prepare basic meals in the accommodation, while it’s nice not cooking, having to go ‘out’ for dinner every night is actually quite a lot for young kids I think, even in AI resorts. Same with breakfasts etc. We prefer being able to have breakfast at our accommodation, and have stuff in for the odd picky tea when the kids are tired or whatever. They also have loads for younger age ranges, play parks, soft play, giant pool complexes, pedalos, treetop adventure courses, etc. And are far cheaper!

But not great for off-season sun holidays!

Bar whinging about being tired (get in the pushchair or I’ll carry you, then), I never hear whinges from my little relatives (3+). They sound very ungrateful. Serious words needed, I think, especially if you’re doing lovely child centric stuff.

Yeah you need to do kids hotel! We did the same hotel 4 years in a row in Tenerife because it suited our needs and then we outgrew it

yours sounds lovely for a holiday with older kids/couple as mine love a private pool now at 6 and 8 they wanted a pool they could meet people and a decent kids club

Keep the holiday. It will be much more repetitive and that works better for kids I think, doing different things every day and even being in and out of different restaurants, even if child friendly, is tiring for 6 and 8 year olds. You’ll settle in to a rhythm of beach /
pool / food in Crete, I imagine, and that will probably be easier. I’m sure they enjoyed your holiday in the UK too, even if they moaned here and there.

I have been on many castle / historical days out with my kids, friends kids, family kids, and all have had a great time.

Also art galleries (contemporary), sites of natural interest (waterfalls, lakes, caves) and country walks.

IMO adults who have little imagination or wonder encourage kids to be the same and moan about anything that isn’t a waterpark.

We had a holiday from hell in the Devon rain at that age, and our solution was to spend a bit more and go abroad for the next one. For us, a hotel with all food provided, pool, mini disco on tap etc was so much more relaxing than trying to fill the days self catering in the UK.

So what would be wrong with that @UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld ?
Why should you not go on a holiday you as parents want to go on?

Kids don't know how to role play shops, opticians etc in reception because they never get "dragged" anywhere that isn't expressly for them. Every time the tv is on it's showing kids programmes. Why should the grown ups not choose the holiday?

I don't think kids not enjoying going to one historic sight amongst other child centred activities (they did say that they did those if you read through) is necessarily a mistake the parents made. The kids could have loved it. You wouldnt know until you try it. There could be simple things to change e.g. snacks or timings, that would make them enjoy it more. Or It could end up being so unenjoyable for everyone that the parents choose to stop.

How do you normally parent to manage that behaviour?

I'll admit that I was once pushed too far and told my dd, who was under 6 at the time, that we'd worked hard to do something that we thought would be nice for the family and her moaning was spoiling it and if she carries on then we will have a spoilt afternoon as well, at home in the lodge with no TV, treats or fun.

The short sharp shock worked and while it may not work for you.

but there is something to be said for recognising that they genuinely prefer being at home and perhaps that's the better option for them at this age.

They are 6 and 8. Of course they notice things being new and different! I did child focussed hotels when DD was at the lower end of that range and below but by 8/9 she didn’t want kids clubs and enjoyed new experiences and yhings to look at. I know all kids aren’t the same, but your suggestion isn’t inevitable.

Abroad holidays imo are easier. Only thing I would say is I’ve been to Greece in October and it pissed it down all week. I’d consider changing to the Canaries unless there is something in Crete in particular that you want to go to.

What do they do at home that keeps them happy?

To be honest I would have had firm stern words at their moaning and whinging.

Small kids can absolutely enjoy castles and historical places! (Source: me as a child, my DD and all the children of my family and friends). Castles are great! Lots of bloodcurdling games to play and open space to run around. Most historic buildings have child friendly sections and tasks too.

I think you just have to downgrade expectations. Pool, ice cream, play park, anything else is a bonus. Prepare to abandon ship or amend plans depending on how the day is going. Don’t over-schedule or try to cram too much stuff in. Even if they are willing, too many big activities is just too much. One day a big activity then a day off doing pool/playpark/chilling out works well for us.

We just came back from a two-week holiday that included two days at Disney. They enjoyed Disney, went on all the rides, but when I asked what their favourite bit of the holiday had been it was the play park at Eurocamp and the little birds who would come on our patio looking for dropped food!