To cancel next holiday?

@Minecroft they’re old enough for you to chat with about how you’ve heard them telling their friends it was great, but you recall them moaning about a lot at the time and that’s actually a bit ungrateful etc. I remember my Mum giving me a firm talking-to about attitude at a similar age. A very matter of fact chat where she felt I was being unappreciative about something and how lucky we all were to do it. She was right. You could say you have a lovely holiday coming up but maybe they don’t want to go, or they might be really keen. They probably will moan but you can knock that on the head!

I sympathise - DM and I took DS to Munich Christmas market, to Kew Christmas lights, and various other things (different years). He moaned and sulked the whole way through and couldn’t wait to get home.

He does actively like beach/pool holidays though. Just spends the whole day in the pool. Whinges about “trips” anywhere even if they are things he has asked to go to, but then enjoys it while he is there.

I think primary kids basically like playing at home, playing with their friends, and at a push, swimming. Most of the rest of it is wasted on them. That doesn’t mean you don’t go (we are going to Rome in October and DS can like it or not, we are still doing it). It means having a thicker skin about moaning 8 year olds.

At those ages, I'd be having very stern words to be honest.
They are not babies and are old enough to understand that you have spent money on a holiday, not everything can be about them etc.

My son is 11 now and we have always had a lovely time - he quite enjoys castles/Gardens etc but also knows that being a family sometimes means compromise and not everything has to be his favourite thing. In fairness, eating with him is easy as he is very adventurous with food, but I appreciate not all kids are.

It’s a big change and something they are not used to which makes them stressed

also bribery - we each got to chose a day/ activity but your choice could be cancelled if you spoilt other people’s day

This. My kids have never been this misbehaved on any holidays abroad, UK including wet and miserable camping.

I would go but warn them in advance that it is a huge treat and you are not tolerating whinging or moaning. It is your holiday too and bad behaviour will result in consequences. They are old enough to understand this. Set high expectations and kids will usually reach them.

Another thought OP. Realised you are just back, so did you take the dcs away as soon as school finished for the summer? Have you factored in the whining might be because they were knackered? You could have done the exact same holiday next week, having given them a couple of weeks to relax after school broke up, and had a very different experience.

We’ve learned the hard way, the holiday going the day after they break up is rarely as much fun as going first week of August. (We’ve done end of summer before but I don’t enjoy that as much as I need the last week of summer to get do all the return to school stuff.)

If you can, perhaps next summer book any trip away, UK or abroad, mid holidays.

Yep! We’re a National Trust family and my son is always getting filthy in mud kitchens and playing in the woodland play areas. He doesn’t complain about touring the big houses as he’s been doing it since he was born 😅

He particularly likes castles as he’s into knights and dragons at the moment :)

By 6 and 8 you should be nearing civilised life and they should be understanding that you do things for others. I think some social stories (get AI to write one) on going on holiday focusing on the changes that means and why that is a good thing but home is still home and will be there when you get back. I was the child that was taken round every church, cathedral, stately home, art gallery as well as walks (some exceptionally boring). I remember moaning but I also remember the fab th8ngs I’ve seen and consequently got a very well rounded education. I would have rather sit and read my books and that happened too. I think that holidays are a scary concept for children - so much change, so much that should be fun yet is anxiety inducing so pre preparing is the best thing.

I wouldn’t worry too much about a beach, kids tend to prefer a pool and you have a private one. Beaches are more likely to result in hot, over tired sunburnt kids.

also my son hates kids club.

We never stayed at all-inclusive or kids’ places. My kids always had a ball and loved being somewhere else. So maybe our home life was boring ;-)

I would not cancel though. They are old enough to understand basic ground rules before you go

If still go abroad but find a different hotel.

All inclusive.
Near the beach.
Kids club.
Night entertainment.

7 nts maximum.

You can have days of pool and beach and hopefully kids club to keep them entertained and you and hours peace and quiet.

Mine are older now but will take phone/headphones to chill round the pool. As long as they are out of the room and sat with me I don't care. It's not home.

The weather in October is very variable so it w t be like the summer. Could be cold and windy.

Crete is lovely but you really are risking the weather at the end of October. I personally would change the holiday to a child friendly hotel in the Canaries.

My dc at this age were the same on self catering holidays, don't know why. But the AI Hotel resorts in Portugal, Turkey etc, they loved and still talk about. I think it was the unlimited ice cream, slushies, pool time, relaxed meal choices and of course the entertainment in the evening 😀 I'd personally choose the Canaries in October, some of their resorts seem perfect for kids.

I’d definitely cancel

Just to add they are more likely to make pals abroad when hanging out at the pool. I think that makes a big difference at your DCs age

I wouldn't cancel if they've not been abroad for ages. There's nothing wrong with having a chat with them about how you feel and that you're thinking it might be better to cancel rather than repeat. They should be aware that it's your holiday too and it doesn't come for free.

Holidays abroad with a pool and ice cream on tap are more appealing I MO. So it might not happen again. If you are able to switch the hotel, then why not get them involved. Get a few options on the table and talk then through it. Get them excited and helping to choose where you go.

If all else fails can you ship them off to grandparents and go for a week 😂

Perhaps they are just home birds?

We are currently on the drive home from a week's staycation with DD5 and DD1. We went to both child focused activities like aquarium / beach / pool etc and then more adults things like a garden and a castle. They were pretty good at all locations.

They are used to going away / day trips etc. Have you asked the children if they want to go on a holiday?

It was when Thomas Cook was still around majorly and was the Sunwing Resort Fanabe mine loved Lollo and Bernie - we did one in Greece with them as well - Thomas Cook we’re good for that

maybe a week as well we are a week in and DS has just said he is feeling ready to go home now (we are doing 11) as he is exhausted!

Will the pool be heated ? If not that will be miserable. Personally I would cancel at that age and price.

We took our 3 when they were similar age for a long weekend in a cheap hotel in Benidorm. We got a break, it didn't cost that much, short flight, long enough for the DC before they started moaning.

The more you go away, the more they will enjoy it all.

If you don’t go you risk perpetuating the situation as they wont broaden their horizons.

Also, I’ll be amazed if 2 children thar age don’t have a ball. But you also need to manage your expectations and be ready for less than idyllic meal times etc.

I would talk to them about the moaning, that is not acceptable. Eg make a tally chart one day of every time they moan and show them so they understand why it’s draining. We used to have one ice cream a day every holiday, and their consequence for bad behaviour would be losing the ice cream. Eg before going to a restaurant I would say my expectations for behaviour,then if they shouted at the restaurant, I would give one warning like “if you do that again there will be no ice cream. We do NOT shout in restaurants. Then follow through. I would also bring books and colouring and we would only have max two courses, and only go maybe twice in a week.

I’d also plan in one mornings off each between you and husband where the other takes the kids out and you get time to re-charge on your own for an agreed amount of time.
I would balance the kid stuff and adult stuff fiftyfifty, it’s your holiday too and they need to learn to “cope” with other things to broaden their horizons. Eg every morning an outing every afternoon kids pool and playground.

Keep the holiday, but find a place with a mini disco. We don't use kids clubs during the day but we always make sure the hotel or campsite has mini disco.

The power of the mini disco cannot be underestimated. It is a daily motivator for good behaviour 😅 other than that all we do is pool / card games / play park. The kids need a holiday too so we keep demands to an absolute minimum.

We went to the South of France when dc were that sort of age. Maybe a year older. Lots of moaning about looking around old towns. Saving grace was a big bouncy castle attached to the restaurant. They loved that.
They should like crete. They'll be a pool probs? A beach