To think you don't just walk in

It’s about invasion of privacy. I don’t like it, whereas he doesn’t mind it. One of us has to give, and I think it’s more reasonable for it to be the person who doesn’t care than the person who does.

😂 Lord I've left my front door open in London to go to the car on the street meters away and had a man just casually try to walk in. Open like wide open because my door closes and can't be opened without key.

When we are in the eu people including neighbours just pop in saying hello.

It's up to you to say what you're not comfortable with OP. Personally I love it when my family and community feel safe enough to be in and out my home like theirs but that's my preference. I also shamelessly enter their homes 😂there does seem to be a cut off naturally after 20:00 where people knock and wait though 🤔

So if you don't respect the way he asks guests to enter his home, why do you think he should respect yours? He's clearly politer than you as he does as you ask at your home even though it's not the way he would do things, because you've asked. He's asked you to just come in and you refuse.

Its completely normal for me.
But if you dont like it lock the door.

It's rude if the person whose house you're visiting isn't ok with it.

It's the way it's done in our family. People walk in. But when people get their own houses, a new partner moves in, a baby is born etc the question is asked - knock or walk? There would be a riot if people didn't respect someone's wishes.

My DD asks people to knock as she has narcolepsy and finds the door opening triggers her cataplexy and SIL prefers knocking just because she prefers that. Anyone else is walk in.

We can always tell when there's a new nurse or carer in my youngests care team as they knock.

I think it’s very rude but I realise that it’s accepted in some families or parts of the country, particularly a few years ago. But why on earth don’t you keep your front door whilst properly? Next time it might not be a relative who walks in without knocking.

I’m not just wandering in to another person’s house, even if they say it’s fine. There may be an occasion when it’s not.

Where are you living OP?
when we were living in the States I had neighbors who'd just saunter in this way, and who were pissed off I didn't do the same, if they'd left their door unlocked / ajar. I'd knock, wait for someone to come to the door and let me in. I thought this was the given thing (its a UK thing at least).

This is totally normal for us. People knock once then open and walk in saying "yoo hoo" or "only us".

I dont follow your theory. I can undo my doors from the inside even if locked, without a key. The country, in my view, is not safe enough to chance leaving doors unlocked, it's just easier not to leave it to chance Obviously, those that prefer to leave doors unlocked can.

I think it's rude. My DH's family started doing this until one day they walked in and out new dog launched at them barking his head off. They never did it after that!

Why if he's told you he's happy for you to just come in? He now respects you asking him to wait, so surely you respect his way at his home?

For me this is outrageously rude!! Nobody I know would EVER do this unless it was an actual emergency. It's usual for doors here to self-lock though, and open from outside only by turning the key. The ones that just open with a handle wouldn't be classed as secure enough for the insurance company.

I would knock and walk in to houses belonging to family and to one close friend. I’m ancient and this would have been considered entirely normal at one time.

I've always felt the fire risk was greater than the risk of "nutters".

I'm in your camp @Eerrnohun My hackles rise at the thought of people just walking in. I think it goes back to when I was a child and there were certain family members who thought that we didn't have a right to privacy and they could turn up whenever and however they liked. It's so ingrained that although I have a key to my Mum's flat, I don't just walk in on her. I always message agead and/or knock. My DH, whose childhood was very different, is more relaxed about boundaries, but prioritises my comfort and always locks up, even when we are both at home.

Obviously, you'll have to consider if it would be a good idea to lock the front door so that Auntie can't just "yoo-hoo" her way into your domain, but it's easy for me to say that. We have a street house with no garden at the front, but a yard with a high wall and wooden gate, which is private enough even for me and we leave the back door open during the day when we are in. Most (legitimate) visitors are not going to scramble over high walls. People with different arrangements may not be able to leave an external door open at all if they want their privacy and if good manners don't come naturally, you may be stuck between the rock of putting up with it, or the hard place of a stinking showdown about acceptable behaviour. Or you keep your external doors locked.

**I said stew because that's how I would feel if it kept happening, not implying that's what you'd do! I don't like stewing so I tend to address things directly. However with the front door issue I hate it so much that I always lock it just to be on the safe side! 😁

Yea fascinated me as a medical student in Yorkshire when GPs did this (I'm a southerner!), I just saw it as crazy dangerous for the 90yo bed bound granny

You should really lock your doors. Any nutter could just enter your house and god knows what could happen. But, you are right, your aunt should wait for you to come to the door.

Family come into ours and vice versa. I've never thought about it really. I guess if it bothers you keep the door locked.

I'd find it strange if my aunties or any other family members didn't just walk in. We have always done that.

This is perfectly normal where I live, and I would get mildly annoyed at having to interrupt whatever I was doing to go and answer the door to somebody who could have just walked in. If you don’t want people to just walk in then you have to either tell them or leave the door on the latch/locked.

I really hate it as well @Eerrnohun which is one reason why I'd always keep the door locked. That way I never have to deal with the issue! I know you've said that DH was in and out but couldn't he carry keys?

In your case you can really only do one of two things, I guess - tell aunt straight out that you don't like it when people walk in without being welcomed and ask her not to do it again. Or not tell her and likely stew if she does it again.

PIL and my parents do this with us and us with them. I'd find it a bit odd to do otherwise. It's nornal for a lot of people so it's fine for you to not want it but you'll have to say something.

I did read it but as you know, when you ask for commentary sometimes people are going to add caveats/extras whether you like it or not.