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Original poster

Son told not to smile for photo

71 replies

Notthisagain13 · 25/07/2025 08:11

My 5yo ds has got a really funny smile at the moment. It’s like he hasn’t quite learnt to smile and sort of oversmiles so scrunches up his face a bit. However it’s very cute and it’s his smile at the end of the day. It’s not like he’s pulling a hideous face, he’s like it in all his school photos, it’s just funny and sweet.

My mil and sil were taking some photos of the grandchildren and mil told ds to stop smiling for the photos.

She kept telling him don’t smile like that, and then just told him to stop smiling for the photos.

Aibu to think that she was being out of order?

OP posts:
becausewecancan · 26/07/2025 12:34

I think it depends on how it was said (sharply or more diplomatically), tbh. It's not necessarily that awful to occasionally ask a child to tone down facial expressions for photos, but you can do it in a way that's more neutral or even positive, almost like you're directing a photo shoot. One of the benefits of digital cameras and phone cameras is that we can take a million pictures until we we a good one.

HowLongWillTheDogBe · 26/07/2025 12:33

Mine went through this daft phase… used to open his mouth wide when his bigger teeth were coming through… hideous… but he grew out of it, thankfully!
You could use some of the school photos from that time to keep witches from the door!
I refused to buy one years set as they were so dreadful - do the photographers tell them to smile and just snap away, however bad it looks?

ThinWomansBrain · 26/07/2025 12:17

"I’d rather look back at his lovely beaming little face than know he was told not to smile."
so take your own photo - most kids probably have their photos taken dozens of times daily - hardly as if it's a once annually school photo.

ThinWomansBrain · 26/07/2025 12:12

@Butchyrestingface baked rather than fried maybe😋

HoppingPavlova · 26/07/2025 12:06

Just look at it as training for passports and licenses?

LadyQuackBeth · 26/07/2025 12:04

Almost every kid I know had the "cheeeeeeeeese," years for photos. It's cute looking back, more lively than a demure Mona Lisa style smile.

Tell DS you love his smile and stand up for him next time, but don't escalate it now or he'll think it's an even bigger deal.

Arrivederla · 26/07/2025 11:58

Seagoats · 26/07/2025 10:36

Awful women. Kids are super sensitive at that age.
That would have been red rag to a bull for me. Id have been ripping them to shreds about all their flaws

Oh that would have really helped 🙄

TheArtfulNavyDreamer · 26/07/2025 10:40

I frequently told my kid to stop smiling to try and get a decent photo of her 😂🤦‍♀️ she did say she didn’t know why her face did that in photos so was aware she had an odd smile thing going on.

Seagoats · 26/07/2025 10:36

Awful women. Kids are super sensitive at that age.
That would have been red rag to a bull for me. Id have been ripping them to shreds about all their flaws

Faceitprune · 25/07/2025 14:28

Notthisagain13 · 25/07/2025 09:49

Don’t get it?

Show quote history

Because whenever there’s a similar thread about family relationships…. There’s always a back story

Faceitprune · 25/07/2025 14:27

If your ds doesn’t see at least one of his parents advocating for him op, he will grow up as meek as your husband.

BunnyLake · 25/07/2025 13:57

SpiralSister · 25/07/2025 09:35

Just here for more about the ugly fish..😀

Amazing typo!

What was the typo? (I think it might be my favourite post ever🤭)

Cutleryclaire · 25/07/2025 12:22

My eldest has something similar. We have a funny saying that we say in unison for a family photo. It’s mildly rude so guarantees a big genuine smile instead of the sinister grimace of a murderess.

BunnyLake · 25/07/2025 12:20

Butchyrestingface · 25/07/2025 11:17

Time for a name change, #UglyFishToFry?

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It’s a great name 😁

Butchyrestingface · 25/07/2025 11:17

BunnyLake · 25/07/2025 10:45

This is probably one of the most surreal responses I’ve seen on MN. 😁

Show quote history

Time for a name change, #UglyFishToFry?

BunnyLake · 25/07/2025 10:45

Someonelookedatmypostinghistorysoichanged · 25/07/2025 08:21

she was micromanaging a photo shoot in a bossy fashion wasn’t she,
however, if this is all you have to write on mn about, take a trophy because there are ugly fish to fry

This is probably one of the most surreal responses I’ve seen on MN. 😁

Original poster
Notthisagain13 · 25/07/2025 09:49

Jennyathemall · 25/07/2025 09:38

Huge back story SHOCKER!!!!

Show quote history

Don’t get it?

OP posts:
Jennyathemall · 25/07/2025 09:38

Faceitprune · 25/07/2025 08:27

there is a huge backstory with my in laws and much more than this

yes, there generally is on mumsnet

Huge back story SHOCKER!!!!

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 25/07/2025 09:37

My DB used to do a 'tortoise smile' where he'd just stretch his mouth instead of smiling. My DM had a whole mantelpiece full of school photos of him looking as though he were being tortured and they are amusing, but not particularly 'cute' to look back on. It would have been better for him and posterity if he hadn't been forced to smile.

Gives me something to tease him about sixty years on though. That and the haircut.

So I think it was out of order to tell your DS not to smile, OP, but you might look back on his 'cute' smiling attempts in thirty years time and wonder what he was up to.

SpiralSister · 25/07/2025 09:35

Just here for more about the ugly fish..😀

Amazing typo!

BunnyLake · 25/07/2025 09:34

Notthisagain13 · 25/07/2025 08:25

Yes in hindsight, I should have spoken up.

Tbh there is a huge backstory with my in laws and much more than this, neither myself nor dh are very good at speaking up at the time, and when we do they always have to have the last word.

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You’re going to have to toughen up (both of you) to make sure you have your kids backs! Never mind them having the last word, you have the last word!

zaazaazoom · 25/07/2025 09:16

Imisscoffee2021 · 25/07/2025 08:30

People are obsessed with perfection in family photos these days, when actually looking back at them a scrunched up smile on the face of a 5 year old would be a lovely and natural sight to see and be reminded of them. Sadly candids just don't seem to be as popular.

I agree. Though we do have 6 years worth of photos of DS2 doing a deliberately grumpy face which got a bit tiresome. DD has done about 2 years of covering her face with a hand which is equally as tiresome.

BogRollBOGOF · 25/07/2025 09:12

My smile on photos was criticised when I was in my early teens... it coincided with my biggest growth spurts and with hindsight, my features and their proportions were slightly different to usual, particularly at one big event where I'd been ill a few days before so was unusually thin by my usual standards.

My son is autistic and it's very difficult to get "good" photos of him. Close to impossible if they're posed or if he realises there's a camera out. The best ones are candid. I have to fight his corner a lot about it.

The best photos are about catching someone as they are.

itstartedinthepeaks · 25/07/2025 09:06

Suggesting a child has autism because of a funny smile is just ridiculous, I’m sorry but I swear one of these days people will be suggesting autism based on breathing.

Ponoka7 · 25/07/2025 09:03

Is it really exaggerated? In the way autistic children, who are taught to mimic, to mask do it? If so, they don't really look like them. We have quite a few autistic children amongst our fam/friends, we use humour etc and get then naturally laughing. Does your son have any other traits? There seems be conflict happening?